[X&Y] She Said She'd "Call Back In 5 Minutes".
Published: Sat, 07/15/23
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IN THIS EDITION: Still waiting for a callback
"five minutes from now"...several days later?
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READER QUESTION: SHE SAID SHE'D "CALL BACK IN 5
MINUTES"
Hello Scot,
So I have a crush on this girl in my class.
I've noticed her since day one and to my surprise she's been sitting
right behind me.
I've been meaning to get her number sometime but never had the
chance.
BUT...I finally got the chance when I saw her on a Saturday night.
Well I called her the next day to set up a date. When she picked
up I introduced myself and she said she would call me back in 5
minutes.
That never happened.
Two days later I called her again, even texted her, but nothing
happened.
So I decided to wait till we had the class this last Thursday.
This is where I really got confused--when the Professor was taking
attendance of course he called out my name and I responded.
Then my crush whispered my name from behind like, "Mario...so that
was you who has been calling me? I am so sorry, sometimes I give
my number to random people and I can't remember."
So I kind of gave her a faint smile then nodded my head like I'm okay
with the excuse she gave me.
Up till now (when I am typing this message) I am still shocked about
what she said.
What also surprised me was that she left before the class actually
ended, probably to avoid me confronting her.
I like to give people benefit of the doubt until she said what she
said.
Frankly I thought maybe she's playing hard to get like "try harder
buddy" but now am just dumbfounded not knowing what she's up to.
And here is the thing, I have a genuine interest in this girl because
I thought at least if I get to know her without making any pre-
judgment I would know who she really is.
What do you think is going on with this girl or is it me doing the
wrong thing here?
I am thinking of calling her later this evening just to clear the
air with her. Thanks for reading this.
Mario (Oregon)
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Nope. Don't chase her, Mario. At all.
It makes no sense she'd promise to call you back in five minutes
then flake out...unless either she didn't even bother to ask you
your name when you got her number or you didn't bother to tell her.
Overall, any or all of that is not only a clear sign that her interest
in you wasn't effectively stoked up before you went for the digits,
it's also what stereotypically leads to women answering "mystery
callers" and quickly wishing they hadn't.
That would explain the "5-Minute Factor" for you.
Now that she knows who you are and is allegedly "sorry" about
the mix-up, she should...wait for it...call you back.
If she was so "sorry", couldn't she have picked up the phone and
RETURNED YOUR CALL sometime after she had this epiphany in
class?
Or at the very least, she could have answered those texts.
But I gather that she hasn't.
Llisten man, seriously...if she's sitting behind you in class every
time the prof calls roll, my educated guess is that she knew who
you are all along.
If she's really interested in you, she'd be diving on that phone of
hers like Cosmo The Hairless Terrier dives on corn dogs flung by
toddlers from the dinner table.
Think about it. Wouldn't you if you had met someone truly
exciting?
So she got the call. She flaked on you. Then she toyed with you
in class in a feeble attempt to "save face" and left early anyway...
without further communication.
Face it. She's not interested.
Unfortunately, when we get a solid case of "one-itis" we often try
way too hard not to see reality when it's staring us in the face...or,
um...when it ducks out of class early.
(Feel free to consider that a bad pun if you go to U of Oregon.)
Repeat after me: NEXT!
Stop "pushing it uphill", as I often say.
After all, there really are plenty of women at any college who are
beyond flakiness and who will also take much greater interest in
you. They might even be sexier than the girl behind you in class.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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