[X&Y] The Most Critical 30 Minutes In Dating
Published: Wed, 07/19/23
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WHAT'S INSIDE: So what can you learn from some old movie? As it
turns out, you can learn how to attract high quality women. Enjoy thisnow-classic newsletter on a fine Saturday afternoon...
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WHAT IF YOU REALLY KNEW HOW WOMEN THOUGHT ABOUT
SEX?
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THE MOST CRITICAL THIRTY MINUTES IN DATING
Want a great tip on a movie to watch with your girl?
Try Roman Holiday, the classic starring Gregory Peck and Audrey
Hepburn.
Emily and I enjoyed it because 1) We'd been to Rome on our
honeymoon, 2) Audrey Hepburn looks more like Emily's sister than
Emily's sister does (which isn't a bad thing) and 3) unthinkably,
neither one of us had never seen this movie before (a first).
Now, I could go on about the several different ways in which Roman
Holiday in particular is a gold mine when it comes to dating advice.
But today we're going to focus on one key, often underestimated and
little-understood factor that leading man Gregory Peck is the master
of in this particular movie.
I call it "The Most Critical Thirty Minutes In Dating".
These thirty minutes begin ticking at the very moment you realize
the woman you're with is sexually attracted.
How do you react to such a joyous epiphany?
What you do with these thirty minutes will make or break the future
of your relationship with her.
Women stereotypically have a firm grasp on this concept, as men
are similarly stereotyped as telegraphing sexual attraction all too
blatantly.
Many women instinctively sense just how profound the power is
that they hold in such a case, and use it effectively to quite literally
cast a spell upon a man and put him under her full control.
We as guys, unfortunately, often have no idea how powerful it is
to be utterly free of neediness when it comes to sexual attention.
So tragically, once we sense that a woman is "feeling it", we
proceed to blow all screaming potential to smithereens.
Why?
Simple. We put too much focus on sex itself as a "prize", and we
forget about the woman.
But not Gregory Peck's character in Roman Holiday. When he
encounters a presumably drunk Audrey Hepburn late at night on a
park bench, he reluctantly ends up taking her back to his place.
Whether Audrey is really so "disoriented" or not is left to the
imagination, but she announces that she plans to undress and go to
sleep whether Gregory Peck is standing there or not.
Now at this point, do I need to tell you how most sex-starved guys
would act?
Meanwhile, Greg (not yet realizing that Audrey's character is
really a princess from a foreign country) furrows his eyebrows at
her brattiness and throws a pair of men's pajamas at her.
He tells her he's going to "get coffee" and will be back in five
minutes...and that she'd better not even think about crashing in
HIS bed.
Audrey is left thinking, "Who is this guy?" She's amazed by his
utter lack of sexual desperation. Here, obviously, is a man who is
very picky about his women and makes sexual decisions on his
own terms.
In the morning, Audrey wakes up and Greg is the image of coolness.
With her senses back in order, she soon discovers on her own that
he had not taken advantage of her. She's intrigued.
In an ironic twist, Greg actually lets her leave his apartment...
passing what Emily and I agree was a test by Audrey's character to
see if he really was man enough to let her go.
Of course, in the midst of other plot complications incidental to
the point at hand, he doesn't really let her get away. And as soon
as he sees her again, it's very obvious that Audrey is digging him.
Still, Greg plays it cool. His paws aren't all over her and he's
probably still not even convinced about her himself.
Importantly, he refuses to chase her.
Greg has succeeded wildly at the "big four". He is masculine, his
masculine presence interests her, he is confident, and--importantly
--he inspires confidence in her that she is safe in his presence.
So the thirty minutes begin ticking.
Make no mistake, he may have been able to steal a kiss and start
having his fun with her right then and there. But watching the
movie, you can't imagine Greg blowing his high-end persona and
being such a shortsighted bonehead. Nope, this guy is for real.
And, sure enough...about a half an hour later he is rewarded by
Audrey's show of affection toward him.
And let's not overlook the fact that Audrey knew exactly what
was going on there and responded with the awe-inspiring manner
of feminine charm and class which defined her entire acting career.
By the time night falls upon 1953 Rome, having spent the day with
Audrey--and having withstood the tests posed by the interest of
other men--he reaps the benefits of being a man who deserves.
A princess has fallen in love with him.
Now listen, I fully get that if two people realize sexual chemistry is
"on" there's no logical reason to wait around.
But the sheer confidence and prowess associated with escalating
sexual tension is what separates the needy and the sex-focused
also-rans from the true champions at enjoying a passion-filled
life.
The patience of a man who knows the raw power of sexual tension
contributes to his ability to deserve a princess. And he tends to
settle for nothing less, does he not?
Yeah, but we're discussing a 70-year-old work of fiction here. Or
are we?
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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