[X&Y] So Do Likes Or Opposites Attract?

Published: Wed, 05/24/23


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WHAT'S INSIDE: Once and for all, let's settle
it...  Do people who  are more alike attract each
other or is it really true that "opposites attract"?   

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SO DO LIKES OR OPPOSITES ATTRACT?
 
 
"I'm a walking, talking dichotomy. I hope you're the same."
 
"I'm looking for someone with as many things in common as me."


-- Actual lines from women's online dating profiles



It's a question that has perplexed--if not flat-out flustered--
humankind since the very inception of civilized male/female
attraction, isn't it?

Do people who are more alike or more opposite ultimately
attract each other?

And moreover, the deeper question:  Are we more likely to
succeed in a relationship with someone who is more alike or
more opposite to ourselves?

Well, the creators of the famous Myers-Briggs personality
inventory test claim that the happiest couples are almost
always opposite personality types.

Meanwhile, based on how the folks over at eHarmony do
business, they believe likes attract.

So who's right and who's wrong here?

Here's my surprising answer:  both and neither.

That's right.  After lots of consideration of the issue at hand,
I've arrived at the conclusion there is a grey area here that
few, if any, people ever consider.

The truth is that in order for a man and a woman to be truly
compatible in a relationship, they have to be alike in some
ways and different in others.

Now, before you dismiss what I've just said as a "toss up"
and walking away from the dilemma, know this: How we
and our female companions need to be alike and how we
need to be different is not random (i.e. purely subject to
whatever turns us on).

In fact, it's critically important to know how to sort this all out
as you're evaluating women.

For starters, she's going to need to have the same core belief
system (aka world view) as you do.  For example, if she's
devoutly Catholic and you're Agnostic, being opposite will
likely be disastrous.

You have to build your relationship on the same basic
foundation.  Know what I mean?

The two of you will also need to be in lock-step on ideas like
whether or not you want kids (and if so, how to raise them),
whether to stay up all night or be an early riser, what
"relationship" actually means in your case (i.e. are you
completely monogamous?) and whether to eat meat or not.

A myriad of examples could be given.  But simply put, you
and the woman of your dreams should be alike philosophically.

See how that makes sense?

Next time, in Part Two on this topic we'll cover the ways you
and the kind of woman you're likely to get along with long
term should be opposite from each other.

Don't touch that dial...

(WARNING:  The next edition will include some pretty
entertaining accounts of misadventures with women from my
own past.) 


 
 



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