[X&Y] Does Choosing A Great Woman Have To Be So Tricky?
Published: Sat, 06/10/23
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WHAT'S INSIDE: We've all got to make sure we invite the
RIGHT women into our lives rather than the WRONG ones.
But does it really have to be so TRICKY to figure out which
is which?
RIGHT women into our lives rather than the WRONG ones.
But does it really have to be so TRICKY to figure out which
is which?
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IF YOU FIND YOURSELF RELATING TO TODAY'S
NEWSLETTER...
NEWSLETTER...
...then this is for you, no doubt:
Below I'll share a crazy story about a guy in Australia
that will surely challenge your thinking about how to
choose the right woman...AND how to identify here
when she shows up.
A LOT of us will be able to relate to it.
That story--and my own similar experience--immediately
brought to mind what might be my most important program.
That's The Leading Man, which you can get for half price for
the next 48 hours only.
Now, let me 100% up front with you. I've made BAD choices in
the distant past as far as women are concerned.
But thankfully, I've learned from my mistakes and have been
making consistently GOOD choices ever since.
The Leading Man reveals every secret I have for choosing
only the highest quality women:
Rest assured, there are subtleties to be discovered here.
The vast majority of us as men won't detect them on our
own, unless it's by a HARD and VERY PAINFUL process of
"trial and error".
The "trial" part can be particularly rough, if you get my drift. I
wouldn't wish the kind of devastating divorce I endured on any
man.
This is about as mission-critical as it gets, gentlemen.
After all, you can have pickup, attraction and dating all figured
out.
But if you pick up, attract, date and end up with the WRONG
woman you're screwed. And not in the good way.
Even a quick look at this can save you a fortune in divorce
court later:
And as a guy who lost thousands in divorce court once upon
a time, I'm happy to give you a copy of my Deserve What
You Want e-book AND audio book--complete with all the
bonuses--when you snap up your copy of The Leading Man
for 50% off.
Plus, I'm also going to give you my epic program on relationship
mastery, Get Together, Stay Together. Once you find the woman
of your dreams, you'll want to live the dream together. This will
make sure of it.
You get BOTH Deserve What You Want AND Get Together,
Stay Together when you get The Leading Man for 50% off.
Now, here's the story I promised you...
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YOU'VE GOT TO KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE 'EM
Earlier today I was on a coaching call with a truly great guy from
Australia.
He had gone on a few dates with a woman, only to have her
"drop the bomb" on the fourth date that she wasn't interested in
seeing him anymore.
He instinctively knew something was wrong. She was playing
everything off as if it was cool, but everything WASN'T.
Finally, she just came out with it: "I really like you, but I can't
see you anymore."
And that was it. She left.
Perplexed, our hero made what he perceived to be "The Walk
Of Shame" back to his car and drove home.
About 24 hours later, what do you know? He got a long,
drawn-out e-mail from her.
Long story short, she had recently gotten back with her
ex-boyfriend. She had our hero drive out to the city to see
her just to "confirm her feelings". But instead, she only got
"confused", which is why things got so weird on their "date".
So hey...she was "really, really sorry", etc.
Our friend from Down Under had sent me the e-mail she wrote
ahead of our coaching call together. So I knew the whole story
before we even talked.
Can you guess what the first question he asked was when
we got on the phone?
If you guessed, "What did I do wrong?" give yourself a gold
star.
Not at all surprised by his question, I answered him as
follows.
"If you mean on the date with her, then rest assured you did
NOTHING wrong, at least as far as I can see.
But if you mean 'in general', then I've got a different
answer for you.
YES...you messed up in two key ways.
First, you PUT UP with being treated poorly and blamed it
on yourself."
on yourself."
To elaborate on that first point, I recounted the sad story in
my own distant past about a little gal from Pittsburgh I met at
the beach one summer. She had invited me to visit her
sometime after college started up again.
So I had bought the short-hop plane ticket and penciled in the
third weekend in October.
During our phone calls leading up to the "big weekend" she
talked of how excited she was to see me.
When I got there, however, she was as cold as a stone.
After a few hours of sitting through this, I threw the obvious
question on the table. The resulting conversation went sort of
like this:
Her: "Uh...well, my boyfriend and I got back together a
couple of weeks ago. But you had already bought your
plane ticket and I felt guilty."
couple of weeks ago. But you had already bought your
plane ticket and I felt guilty."
Me: "What?! You've got a BOYFRIEND?"
Her: "Yes. Yes I do. And I told him all about how you're
visiting me this weekend and how I should probably still
see you. And he told me [read: 'had no choice but to tell
me'] he is completely okay with that because he 'trusts
me'."
see you. And he told me [read: 'had no choice but to tell
me'] he is completely okay with that because he 'trusts
me'."
Me: "You mean, he KNOWS I'm here with you right now?"
Her: "Um...yes. And that makes me [sob] love him even
more."
more."
From there it was a very awkward weekend. I couldn't afford to
change my flights OR get a hotel.
Fast-forward back to the present. After I told my friend on the
phone that story, I asked him point-blank, "OK, so what did I
do wrong?"
He quickly responded, as if the answer was obvious. "I think I
totally get your point. That was ALL HER problem, mate."
Indeed.
Yet for a brief moment back on that cool autumn night in
Pittsburgh, I felt sort of jealous of her boyfriend.
But that was only until I realized HE was probably even MORE
perturbed, frustrated and at the same time perplexed by this
chick than I was.
Plainly stated, she had left TWO guys hanging out to dry.
Whether that was because of indecision or sheer lack of guts
doesn't matter.
Sure, she could have told us both what was up and that she
didn't want to be exclusive with either one of us just yet.
Or she could have drawn a line in the sand and delivered the
"hard truth" to the one she was no longer interested in seeing.
But instead of drawing a line in the sand, she had stuck her
head in it.
The result? She put TWO different human beings in a position
she herself would NEVER want to be in.
Ironically, not only would her boyfriend have preferred that I
stay the heck in Philadelphia, I would have greatly preferred
to stay the heck there also...had I only known the truth.
And don't kid yourself. Both her boyfriend AND I should have
been pleased to part ways with her, regardless of whose choice
it was...HERS OR OURS.
Read that last paragraph again. It's important.
Meanwhile, had my Australian friend run what I call "The Golden
Rule, Reversed" (or "TGR-R") he would have been able to see
what all was going on in his case as clear as day.
That is to say, if he would have realized if someone tries to
put us in a position that we NEVER, EVER in a million years
would subject someone else to, then we shouldn't put up with
it either.
BUT NOW, both my Australian friend AND I could see my
situation as it unfolded back in Pittsburgh for what it was.
And better yet, my friend could now see HIS situation for what
it was as well.
Here it is, gentlemen, once again: Don't believe the "hype".
Problems between men and women aren't ALWAYS the guy's
fault, despite what you see on TV commercials.
But wait a second. Didn't I say before that there were TWO
mistakes that our Aussie hero made overall?
Right on.
So what was the second one?
He didn't CHOOSE wisely when it comes to women.
OK, so maybe the truth behind this whole brouhaha didn't
come out up front.
Fair enough.
And maybe neither that gal in Australia nor my female
friend from Pittsburgh intended to behave badly.
You could say they just didn't think things through, were
insensitive, were immature...whatever.
Also fair enough.
But looking at the big picture, exactly when stuff "hits the
fan" or what the "intentions" are don't really matter.
If we start rationalizing anything a woman does that makes
us feel less excited about her--or worse, we INTERNALIZE
it as if it must somehow be OUR FAULT--that's when our
unfortunate fate is sealed.
You see, you can "weed out" the obvious ones pretty
easily. But what about all these crazy and sometimes
hidden nuances that really can spell out whether a woman
is right for you (or any other high quality man) or not?
How do you know when you should "pull the plug" on
someone...or feel like you've dodged the proverbial bullet if
she "pulls the plug" on you?
It all comes down to this: Will a relationship with a particular
woman bring you JOY or PAIN?
That's a complex question to ask, for sure. But it's one we
need to be FULLY HONEST with ourselves when answering
...regardless of how "hot" she is, or EVEN how "nice" she is.
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