[X&Y] 3 Unexpected Reasons Why Some Guys Can't Stop Acting Needy

Published: Sat, 06/17/23


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IN THIS EDITION:  Sure, you already know why chasing after women
doesn't end well, yet you may still be doing it anyway.  Here's why.

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BE THE MAN WHO THRILLS WOMEN...ALL OF THEM


What will happen when you've found the right woman for you?

Sure, you'll look forward to a great life with her.

But what about every other woman you're going to meet...every
day for the rest of your life?

Do you have to be neuter in their presence? Should you ignore
them completely?

Pragmatically speaking, both of those options are flat-out
impossible.

Don't kid yourself. Your beautiful, sweet, feminine wife will
likely be faithful to you as a "big four" man forever, but other
guys will still gladly do whatever she wants for her.

She'll simply continue being her charming self and reap the
benefits from it. In fact, YOU'LL probably reap lots of those
benefits indirectly as the man she loves.

BUT...you really should have the same effect on women as
she does on men.

You deserve the right to charm and enchant women so they'll
LOVE to do nice things for you too.

This is how men and women are supposed to coexist on Earth
together.

All of this is a big part of why my program Female Persuasion
is so uniquely valuable.  

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3 UNEXPECTED REASONS WHY SOME GUYS CAN'T STOP
ACTING NEEDY


One of the main themes around here, of course, is the whole idea of
being a CHOOSER rather than a CHASER.

The core premise there, as you'll recall, is that even though lots
of men believe that women hold all the cards in the dating world
and have the ability to choose from many men who are chasing them,
that isn't necessarily how it has to go.

In reality, any man OR woman who perceives him OR herself to have
options when it comes to dating is the one who has the power.

If you have lots of opportunities, you're not as concerned (read:
"desperate") about any one in particular.

Meanwhile, it's a scarcity mentality that generally keeps the
majority of people of either gender in "chasing mode".

That is, they say to themselves, "Oh man...I need a significant
other, and if I could only get THAT one to like me then I'd finally
be happy."

But it's when we relax in the notion that MOTOS (members of the
other sex) are more likely to be attracted to us than not, THEN
we can take our time to be selective.  

In doing so, we come to the realization that it really does take
time to gauge true compatibility beyond mere physical attraction
anyway.

AND...it also takes away the urgency of either "closing the deal"
or perhaps having to endure the pain of a continued dry spell.

Now, while all of this tends to make good, solid sense to anyone
who really gives it some thought, there are still plenty of guys
who still can't bring themselves to accept the truth behind it.

They remain convinced that women have all the power.

Well, I'm sorry they feel that way, but until they're willing to
challenge that mindset I'm really of little help to them.

They'll just keep on chasing...and wondering why women keep
"selecting" some other guy (who wasn't chasing them).

This newsletter isn't for them.  However, it is for YOU if you really,
truly WANT to be a chooser instead of a chaser but somehow
aren't making the switch.

In other words, you're really, seriously interested in NOT acting
needy or desperate anymore, but dammit...you just can't seem
to stop, no matter how hard you try.

Let me tell you, I've been there myself.  It's insanely frustrating.

Here are three possible reasons why your reality may not yet be
reflecting your intentions:



1)  IMPATIENCE


Deciding to be a chooser instead of a chaser is not necessarily
a quick fix.

A major tenet of selecting from many options is being patient.  
And being patient is HARD.

It's incredibly easy to just lose your cool and gush a rapid-fire
stream of attention toward a woman you just can't wait to get your
hands on...literally.

You call her six times in a row and text her non-stop, just to make
sure she's "still there".

One time I was on a phone call with a guy who told me point-blank,
"Yeah, well...I already KNOW that I shouldn't call women several
times a day and text them constantly.  I KNOW it's not going to end
well, but I can't help myself.  I keep doing it anyway."

I suspect he's not alone.  Not by a long shot.

You really can sense when you're messing things up, can't you?

Unfortunately, what it comes down to is this.  If you just can't
contain yourself, that's a pretty blatant sign of immaturity.  

If some of you younger guys are wondering about how you can keep
losing out to older guys so often, that's one of the key areas to
look at.  (Don't shoot the messenger here, I've most certainly been
that guy myself in the past.)



2)  FORCE OF HABIT


Another very real fact is that the longer we've been used to doing
things a certain way, the more difficult it is to change.

So many guys have been chasing women since they were fourteen
years old that it's like beating their heads against the wall to try and
turn things around at age 30 or 35.  

The more set in your ways you are, the tougher it is going to be
to change habits.   

Things tend to get to the point where it doesn't even really matter
whether what you're doing is genuinely good for you or not.  

If what you do feels good and feels right based on the "routine"
you've grown so accustomed to, you're going to keep doing it.

You're going to keep indulging yourself, even if what you're
doing represents vice rather than virtue.

Crazily, this can go so far as to manifest itself as guys still
"chasing" even when they recognize they've actually got options.

They're simply not exercising them, opting to keep operating in
that serial "one-itis" mindset they've grown accustomed to.
 
What that means is that you'll have to be deliberately intentional
and VERY disciplined about doing what it takes to change from
"unconscious incompetence" to "unconscious competence", but the
journey is well worth the considerable effort involved.



3)  CONFUSION


This one is going to cause the light bulb to go on for lots of you
guys out there.

Recently I was asked, "So Scot, if we're NOT chasing, then that
means we need to somehow get women to chase US so that we
can be in the position of choosing, right?"

Negatory, good buddy.

That way of thinking actually still assumes women have all the
power, if you stop and think about it.  We've got to wait around
for THEM to initiate the interaction by chasing in such a scenario.

Believe it or not, that exact train of thought is how women who are
NOT "choosers" justify their own erroneous claim that "men always
have all the power".

Weird, I know...

But nevertheless, many of us as guys have no idea what "choosing"
actually means.  

Choosing is SELECTING...nothing more, nothing less.  

So yes, you still initiate relationships with women, but you're doing
so from a position of strength (i.e. having many options) as opposed
to weakness (i.e. perceiving yourself as having few, if any options).

Make no mistake, both women AND men can and should be choosers.
There doesn't have to be one who has strength at the direct expense
of the other's right to personal power.

Emily and I BOTH chose each other from many options.

Neither of us was "weaker" than the other in that respect.  We were
two people with options, and therefore "choosing" power.

So taking all of that into consideration, there's no reason to feel
as if you have to revert to chasing in the event that, say, women
aren't automatically flocking to you and throwing themselves at you.

Proactivity is ALWAYS preferable, it's simply the abundance mindset
that separates "choosers" from "chasers".  Don't ever throw in the
proverbial towel in confusion over that and simply go back to the
previous status quo.



I sincerely trust that this newsletter has helped give you a more
concrete understanding of the whole idea of being a strong,
confident chooser in your dating life.

Select an equally strong woman of high-quality.  Choose each other
and you'll be well on your way to a happy relationship together.


 
 

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