[X&Y] Making Women Feel Comfortable With You
Published: Fri, 09/15/23
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SHE SAYS, "BABY, CAN I GET YOU A BEER?"
Imagine the scene…
You get home from work after another long, stressful day at the
office.
Deadlines. Angry bosses. The works.
But unlike some poor suckers out there, you don’t dread coming
home to your wife even more than going to work.
Instead, you CAN’T WAIT to get home.
That’s because you’ve already received about five “private
selfies”.
Sure enough, she answers the door in a robe…red lingerie
underneath.
Her eyes shine as she smiles and hands you your favorite
beer, which she has already poured for you.
“Hey baby…I missed you ALL day”, she says.
“Why don’t you sit down in your easy chair and I’ll bring you
a hot meal?”
“Go ahead and watch your game. Decompress. I won’t talk
your ear off about all the drama with my girlfriends…especially
right after you walk in the door. I know you’ve had a long day.”
And then the clincher…
“When you’re done with your game”, she says, “I’ll give you
the absolute best ‘oral pleasures’ ever”, punctuated with a
naughty giggle.
By now you might think I’ve lost my mind, even THINKING a
woman would ever treat her man like that.
But it’s MORE LIKELY you’re wondering where you can FIND
this “mythical” woman I’m talking about for yourself.
Oh…she’s very real.
You simply have to know how to build the right relationship
with such an amazing girlfriend, that's all.
Truth be told, if you have a girlfriend already, you might very
well ALREADY HAVE that woman in your life...
...you just have to know the closely-guarded secrets to
BRINGING IT OUT in her.
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SHE has to wait. That's a fact.
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MAKING WOMEN FEEL COMFORTABLE WITH YOU
Since you read these newsletters and probably have torn through
some of my programs already, I trust you realize that if a woman feels
pressured, freaked out or even creeped out you're going to get
nowhere with her.
You would think that goes without saying.
Still, it boggles my mind to see other guys trying to meet women
in a way that clearly advertises they're either clueless or stubborn.
They either have no social skill whatsoever and/or they're so desperate
for some "action" that they keep doing what they already know doesn't
work...somehow expecting different results than they've always gotten.
That's Einstein's definition of insanity, right?
What's up with a guy like that? Clearly, if a woman's trying to squirm
her way out of interacting with him the way that cat does in the old
"Pepe LePew" cartoons, you'd think he'd change course.
You'd think he'd back off a bit. Tone down the high-pressure
stuff. Maybe quit trying to paw women up the split second he meets
them. Stop being so self-absorbed and sex-focused and take the
time to take a real interest in the real woman who is in front of
him.
After all, that's what actually works. That's what makes women
feel sexual attraction for you without any "heavy lifting".
It follows logically that women don't respond well to being rushed,
pressured and/or run through an agenda any more than YOU would
if forced to sit through, say, a heavy-duty pitch for some timeshare.
Yet, the madness continues. And honestly, some of the other
information available out there doesn't exactly help matters.
Certainly, one of the very FIRST things a guy should learn when
getting better with women is how to make sure they're not fearing
for their personal security when interacting with him.
That's step one to making them feel safe and comfortable
with you.
After all, one of the "big four" traits that attracts high quality women
is making them feel safe and comfortable in one's presence.
That's fairly elementary.
But here's a twist that you may never have thought about.
Sure...it's altogether probable that you've figured out how assure a
woman you aren't going to physically harm her. Great job.
Now here's the part that almost ALL guys overlook.
When you get right down to it, "safety and security" is an overall
FEELING a woman gets...and you're either inspiring confidence or
you're not.
So then, if you're doing ANYTHING at all that makes her feel LESS
than completely at ease, you're shooting yourself in the foot--even
if you don't really mean her any harm.
In fact, here's a great yardstick to measure by. Whenever you're
interacting with a woman, ask yourself, "Am I putting her MORE
at ease, or making her feel UNEASY?"
Let me give you an example of what I'm talking about here.
Remember that women are hardwired to follow your lead. That
means that whatever direction you're taking things, she's going to
come along for the ride.
Therefore, if you're nervous and obsessed over not screwing up,
she's going to follow suit by feeling nervous herself and waiting
on pins and needles for the inevitable screw up on your part.
Further, if you have zero confidence in your ability to talk to her,
let alone attract her, then she's going to have zero confidence in
YOU.
That's right...she's simply feeling the way YOU do. That's human
nature, really. It's not even gender specific, is it?
If you've ever been to "amateur night" at a comedy club and felt
the pain of someone up on stage who was clearly growing more and
more nervous and frustrated after each attempted joke that "bombs",
then you know exactly what I mean.
So speaking of bombs, let me drop one on you here: Making a
woman feel YOUR discomfort is every bit as detrimental to your
potential success with her as threatening her in some overt way.
The weird psychology behind this is such that if you are nervous,
low on confidence or even following her lead in a feeble attempt to
kowtow to her, she's going to instinctively believe you are incapable
of protecting her.
Men who come off as protectors make women horny. As in physically
so. (Yes, I've researched this.)
Men who lack the courage and/or confidence necessary to keep her
safe do not.
There's a certain feeling women get one way or another. Making her
feel like you can't protect her is just as bad as making her feel
like you're dangerous personally.
It's the same emotion.
Welcome to why failing to represent comfort and security in your
interactions with women is so fully and predictably devastating to
attraction. And the pattern is sure to repeat itself as long as you let it
go on.
So what's it going to be? Can you put yourself at ease when talking
to a woman, knowing that it'll make her feel more comfortable in
your presence and therefore inspire her to be more attracted to you?
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