[X&Y] Do You Have To Be "Mr. Perfect" In Order To Get The Girl?
Published: Wed, 09/06/23
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IN THIS EDITION: Think you have to get your
act together perfectly in order to get a woman
to stick around? Think again...
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IT'S TIME TO GET AFTER IT
Summer is over. It's September and everyone
is back into the swing of things.
That means it's time to seriously evaluate
how you're doing with women.
What is your social life like?
Are you spending time with the high-quality
women you know you deserve?
Are you meeting any women at all?
You've been reading these newsletters for
some time now.
You may be listening to the podcasts.
But what if you had me working for you
personally...keeping you accountable,
motivating you to do what I already know
you are capable of, and cutting to the
chase with exactly the skills and knowledge
YOU need to enjoy the charmed life with
women you should be living?
That's the power of a 1-on-1, personalized
coaching program.
Write me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
and tell me your story, along with a way to
get in touch with you.
Or, use the simple form to get the ball
rolling:
https://programs.deservewhatyouwant.com/takeaction
How long will you continue to make the
woman of your dreams wait?
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DO YOU HAVE TO BE "MR. PERFECT"?
The other day I was on the phone with a guy who is going through
the Ten-Plus Program.
For those of you who may not be familiar with Ten-Plus, it's a
guided 1-on-1 program that's custom designed to take you from where
you are RIGHT NOW to where you WANT TO BE with women...all in
about 90 days and over the course of ten carefully planned meetings
(either via phone or face-to-face).
Well, every Ten-Plus experience is different because every one of
us as men is different.
As fortune would have it, on this day we were talking about how to
use one's voice to project confidence and masculinity--two
cornerstones of the "big four", of course.
In the case of my friend on the other end of the phone (and on the
other side of the world), he had gone for literally decades without
realizing how his manner of speaking had been cratering his chances
with women.
Being all about promoting his future success, I shared with him
some objective ways he could effectively alter his speech patterns
to become infinitely more attractive while still being his
authentic, true self.
Believe me, having been there before, I was all about being the
voice of encouragement.
In my heart and mind, I knew my friend would see a dramatic
difference in how his interactions with women went...if only he'd
take the next few weeks to intentionalize just a few new habits.
But on the other end of the phone, all I heard at first was
discouragement.
"Aw man...I realize now that I've been doing what we're talking about
for over THIRTY YEARS. How can I expect to completely eradicate
these bad habits? That sounds all but IMPOSSIBLE."
That's when I told him about how the "85/15 Rule" works when it
comes to the finer points of attraction.
Basically, the "85/15 Rule" says that if you can get the basics of
masculinity and confidence down just 85% of the time, you'll have
done what it takes to convince a woman you're the real deal.
That's right. You don't have to be perfect.
Remember, women are human beings just like you. Unless they're a
rare variety of psycho, I promise they aren't sitting around
waiting for you to misstep in the slightest so they can cut you off.
Yeah, yeah. I don't care what the PUA crowd says. Even the
hottest women on earth are NOT going to demand perfection from
you.
In fact, are you sitting down for this?
If you ARE "Mr. Perfect", you may as well be "Mr. Nice Guy" while
you're at it.
Why?
Simple...you're going to come off as "Mr. Impossible" in the end if
you're either "Mr. Perfect" or "Mr. Nice Guy".
Here it is: She's flat-out going to think you're faking it. She's
going to think you have an "agenda".
And to make matters worse, coming off like you want to be "Mr.
Perfect" has an even worse angle: She's going to feel she can't
love up to your "flawless execution".
Look, we already know that many, many women--especially the
particularly attractive ones--are VERY self-conscious. They don't
want to "mess up" any more than you do on a date.
And how about this? Remember the third part of the "Big Four"?
You know, inspiring confidence.
If you seem like you can do no wrong, all you're doing is making her
feel MORE self-conscious and MORE like she needs to walk on eggshells
so as not to humiliate herself somehow.
Think I'm kidding? Here's a gut check for you: Have you ever gone
on a perfect date, only to have the woman RUN AWAY and never be
heard from again afterward?
And are you STILL trying to piece together what could possibly have
gone awry?
I'm telling you...your act could have been TOO together. A little
ketchup on the cuff or trip over the shoelaces could have actually
put her at ease.
And yes...maybe one small hint at genuine interest a bit too early or
one slight overreaction to something she said may have actually been
a good thing for you to have mixed in there.
Again, not enough to paint you as a needy, high-strung Chihuahua or
a "desperado"...but just enough to make her bite her lower lip in the
slightest, sexiest way and think, "You know what, I think he might
like me after all."
By now you may be thinking I've been spending too much time tuning
2-stroke engines with the garage door closed again.
But if you don't believe me, believe Emily. I can still remember
the first time I lost my cool about something in her presence...all
of about three weeks after we started dating.
She thanked me afterward. To my utter shock and awe, she told me
she felt more at ease knowing I messed stuff up sometimes.
No kidding, for a few awkward minutes there before she said
anything, I thought she was about to walk out of my life forever.
So no, women don't demand or even WANT "perfection".
What they want is a MAN who is a masculine and confident at his
core...but still a human being who they can relate to.
That's where what I call the "85/15 Factor" comes in.
Now to be perfectly clear, we're talking about masculinity and
confidence here.
You can't expect to make her feel unsafe in your presence 15% of
the time or commit blatant breaches of character 15% of the time.
It might be "one strike and your out" on the bigger stuff, as well
it should be.
But if in your normal, day-to-day interactions with her you can
portray solid masculine confidence at least about 85% of the time,
then the small number of mistakes won't do you in.
She'll consider the REAL you to be the confident, masculine version
she's USED to having in her life.
And think about it, if she runs her own feminine version of 85/15
around you, won't YOU feel tons more at ease interacting with her?
Thought so.
But the problem is that in today's feminized culture many, many
guys only feel it's required to man up about 15% of the time...if
that.
The rest of the time? It's "Neuter City", baby.
There's good news, though.
By now I've spent a LOT of time coaching a LOT of guys, and here's
something I've found to be almost universally true: If a man is
willing to apply himself to breaking an old habit in favor of a
newer, better one he really can go from "15/85" to "85/15" very
quickly.
Sometimes it's literally a matter of a few days.
But most of us are too complacent to do anything about what's
holding us back.
OR...we never find out what it is that's been holding us back.
How's THAT for a scary thought?
Seriously. Our friends aren't going to tell us. And usually the
women we go out with themselves will never say anything...they just
won't answer the phone the next time you call.
And THAT is exactly why the Ten-Plus program is so powerful.
Because Ten-Plus is a custom-crafted experience, you can expect
personalized attention to taking you from GOOD to GREAT with
women...whatever that means.
Right now I have exactly three Ten-Plus program openings.
In addition, we are booking a select few Ten-Plus Live experiences
here in San Antonio. Ten-Plus Live is an intensive, life-changing
four-day program that consistently gets significant, measurable
results in record time.
By now you know that I've gone through my fair share of tough times
in the past and can relate to just about any challenge. What's
very real to you is likely very real to me too.
But by now you also know that I have been passionate about finding
solutions to the quandaries of understanding and relating to women
for over seven years now.
My track record stands alone as a testament to what's possible.
I'm no "natural born lady killer", and you most certainly don't
have to be either.
But one thing's for sure. There are high quality women out there
waiting for YOU to get your act together. (Well...at least 85%
together, right?)
If you're finally ready for real-world results, I'm available to
you. Simply drop me a note:
scot@deservewhatyouwant.com
When you write me, tell me what your unique sticking points are.
Share also a bit about where you are today compared to where you'd
love to be when it comes to living your vision of success with
women.
You have my word that I will respond to your message, and I'll work
directly with you to decide if Ten-Plus and/or Ten-Plus Live is the
right fit for you.
As mentioned above, there's also an easy form you can use:
https://programs.deservewhatyouwant.com/takeaction
I'll write you again soon with yet another golden principle of
relationship management that you can begin using right away.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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