[X&Y] Those Awkward Moments On Facebook

Published: Sat, 12/02/23



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WHAT'S INSIDE: You're getting female attention on Facebook,
but you've already got a girlfriend. How should you handle that?

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YOU MEET HER AND ATTRACT HER. THEN WHAT?


Most advice on how to get better with women talks mostly about
how to meet them and get the conversation rolling.

That's all well and good.  After all, if you don't ever meet any
women then you really can't do much else with them.

BUT...what comes after that?

For WAY too many guys, once they actually get a woman
interested, it's a lot like what happens when a dog actually
catches the car it was chasing.

What should you do when you meet one you actually LIKE?

How do you KEEP her around?

How do you make her crave you as a lover, adore you as a partner
and respect you as a man?

And how do you do that even when every other guy wishes THEY
were YOU?

YES...if you've got an incredible woman, she's going to be desirable
to a lot of other men.

But you CAN rest in total confidence that nobody is going to be able
to pry her away from your side...as long as you know how to set the
precedent for an amazing relationship from the very start.

My Get Together, Stay Together program gives you that power.

This is a skill set that every wise man makes sure to acquire, bar
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Now, let's get into some Facebook strategy...



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FACEBOOK AWKWARDNESS (READER QUESTION)


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Join The Mountain Top Summit FB group here:

The Mountain Top Summit Facebook Group

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Hey Scot

I would like to thank you for helping us guys make the world a
better place for us and for those who love us. Especially when your
material talks about character, self-respect and respect to others,
not just the pretty ladies.

I hope you receive this message because it be interesting to know
your opinion and share it with other guys who might have
experienced this.

I have a girlfriend and I have my best intentions at heart for her.

That is why I have been with her for 3 years and it's all good. She
is a sweetheart and the best.

Anyway...I opened my Facebook today and a girl which I have no idea
who she is added me and sent me a friend request.

I was surprised and didn't know what to write because I have a
girlfriend and it's the first time this happened to me.

She is also very cute and pretty by looking at her profile picture.

So I went on to add her and this is what I wrote to her:


  Hello [Name]

  I am most certain that you look very cute in your picture and
  probably are a nice girl. I am flattered that you added me as a
  friend.

  I, however, have not had the privilege of meeting you in person.
  And if I have met you before, you will have to excuse my bad memory.

  I am writing to you because you added me as a friend. I wonder why?
  It's OK, I am smiling as I write to you. I will go on and do so. I
  really like your smile, hope it stays that way.

  Cheers,

  Ron

  PS: I just hope you didn't click it by accident, it would be
  disappointing.


So... I didn't ask her out because I have a relationship; however,
one just never knows. She looks like a good girl and it would be
interesting to meet her one day.

I am not sure if the PS was such a good idea. The word
"disappointing" is a bit harsh for starters. Maybe I am
exaggerating. I also used the word "why".

I decided to write to you about this to listen to your opinion in
case this sort of thing happens to other guys and for those that
are single...to go ahead and add beautiful girls who they have
probably never met.

One thing I noticed is that she did have friends who are friends
with people I have met.

She has not answered yet to my message. I am a bit nervous because
nowadays there are women that are so sharp that they even ask guys
out.

At the same time, I am excited to hear from her. I just hope they
are also respectful about the fact one has a girlfriend and it is
stated on one's status.

I believe one shouldn't get so carried away by that.


Big hugs Scot,

Ron



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Hello Ron:


Thanks a million for writing.

Facebook really can be a complex venue when it comes to
managing relationships with women, right?

But not to worry...I'm about to make things about as simple for
you as mushing a sled dog team into a tundra full of snow-kitties.

There are several key items to address here, so let's take them one
at a time.

First, I'm glad you mentioned that the girl who friended you has mutual
friends.

It's common for fake "hot girl" profiles to add random guys, and you
don't want to fall for that.  The indicators there are that they have few
friends, and they're typically banned quickly anyway.

With that caveat out of the way, it shouldn't be alarming to you that a
somewhat attractive woman might add you on Facebook.  As you build
your social circle, it tends to happen.

People who are friends of friends hear you're cool and they want to
make more friends.  Some of those people are pretty girls.  Go
figure...

BUT... (and this is the biggest one since Rosie O'Donnell's) it's
important to realize that you don't ever actually OWE everyone who
contacts you first a response.

That actually goes for social media, e-mail, voice mail and
especially door-to-door pest control service salesmen.

Sure, it's a "nice" thing to do from a social perspective to
acknowledge those who acknowledge you.

BUT... (and this is the biggest one since the last one) if you truly
have your long-time girlfriend's "best interests at heart" (as you
should), then there are going to be standout exceptions to that
guideline.

This, um...would be one of them.

You flat-out can't be entertaining mutual flirtation with women on
Facebook when you've got a girlfriend.

If you're really NOT as convinced that you've got a happy, solid
relationship going as you say you are, then feel free to flirt with
women on Facebook like a boss.

At least extend the courtesy to your girlfriend of breaking up with
her first, though.

And for the love of all that's good in the universe, don't forget
to change your relationship status and make sure you flirt via
private message rather than out in the open.

Just trust me on that second part.

But see, it sounds to me that you really DO value your relationship
with your girlfriend, which can only mean you're sorta trying to
burn the proverbial candle at both ends there, Ron.

You should stop doing that, man.

Put the shoe on the other foot for a minute.  Would you feel
somewhat disrespected if your "main squeeze" was going around
answering every honkin' Shmoe who added her on Facebook?

And worse, imagine if she sprinkled in the occasional, "I have a
boyfriend, but you are kinda cute and I'm really intrigued by your
smile...so here's hoping you wrote me because you find me attractive."

Ouch, right?

Well, here it is:  You just delivered a punch to the gut like that
to your girlfriend, whether she knows about it or not.

That wasn't some sort of innocuous, harmless message that you
sent to this other girl.

It's not all that hard to read between the lines that you've given
her a very real chance at turning your attention away from your
girlfriend and towards her.

But shifting gears for a second, even if you WERE single, you'd
probably get nowhere with this new "friend" of yours anyway.

Why?  Well by pre-approving her based on how good she looks to
you and telling her how "flattered" you are that she would give you
any attention, you've blatantly advertised to her that you're not in
her league.

Then, the "Mr. Nice Guy" tone of your message in combination with
the self-doubt expressed by the "I wonder why?" statement pretty
much sealed your fate.

So yes, unfortunately I have to confirm the mistakes that you
suspected you made there.

But consider this also:  This woman only ADDED you on Facebook.

Unless you're forgetting to tell me something, she didn't exactly
accompany that with a message announcing any type of romantic
intent, did she?

Ultimately Ron, you went overboard on this one...even as you
sabotaged your own ship while jumping off.

If you value your girlfriend as much as you say you do, you'll
forget you wrote to this other girl.  You should probably go ahead
and "unfriend" her too. 

I think she'll understand.

Granted, there are sometimes instances where someone will
intentionally try to weasel his or her way between a couple's good
relationship on social media, and that can be subtle.

I'm not saying that's what's going on here, but it's for that
reason that I suggest not even entertaining messages from
attractive women on Facebook.  It can't end well for you.

That's how Emily and I handle our respective Facebook accounts.
And what do you know?  There's never been any "drama".
 

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