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IN THIS EDITION: Last time we talked about some of the ways you
CAN'T expect to change women. But are there ways your leadership
CAN bring out the absolute best in her? The resounding answer is
"absolutely".

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5 WOMEN WHO CAN CHANGE THEIR WAYS...BUT ONLY IF
YOU LEAD


In yesterday's newsletter I shared some potential deal breakers
with women that are typically way, way beyond any man's ability
to change on her behalf.

Let's face it, we as guys love to lead, and women love it when we
do.

So the thought of influencing change for the better in someone
else--especially a woman we have "the hots" for--sounds good and
reasonable to us.

Plus, there's just something hard-wired in us that wants to fix
broken stuff.

That's why we store jumper cables in our pickup trucks and carry a
multi-tool in our pockets. 

But women?  They're human beings with their own priorities,
desires, imperfections and, yes...free will.

As we found out last time, there are some scenarios that will feel
like beating your head against the wall if you're crazy (or arrogant)
enough to think you can flip a switch and change things.

The good news, though, is there are other situations that are
tailor made opportunities to lead a woman to a more fulfilling
place. 

More fulfilling, that is, for both her AND for you...



1)  She Leads A Boring Life


Have you ever noticed how many women basically go to work, come
home, watch the tube for a couple hours, go to bed and wake up the
next morning to do it all over again?

Sure, some women are social butterflies with packed schedules, but
a shocking number of others are not.

Single moms notoriously lead very routine lives that are high
in stress, yet low in excitement.

Guess what?  Most women who lead boring lives aren't exactly
thrilled about it.  

Were you to come along and welcome her into YOUR reality, you'd
be amazed at how soon you'd have a willing accomplice to join you
for all of your adventures.

So don't immediately pass off a woman who appears to lead a boring
life as a "bump on a log".

Take her mountain biking, introduce her to exotic food, and show her
what she's been missing out on. 

In other words, lead.



2)  She's Quiet


If you think we as men are the only ones who can get eaten alive by
shyness, stop kidding yourself.

Remember, there are LOTS of women who clam-up when they're into
a guy. 

So what you're interpreting as zero personality (or even flat-out
disinterest) in a quiet, stone-faced woman may actually be
attraction.

Have you ever thought about it like that?

If you're the kind of guy who tends to automatically assume the
worst rather than the best when it comes to gauging a woman's
interest level, maybe not.

The solution?

Kick the "big four" trait of "ability to inspire confidence" into
overdrive.  Women are often shy or reserved when at first.

How many times have you ever heard someone, especially a
woman, say, "I'm really quiet until I get to know someone."

Well, for all intents and purposes "getting to know someone" =
"feeling comfortable".

Give her space.  Inject humor.  Have a plan that has her best
interests at heart. 

And yes, let the woman know you're enjoying her company.
Strategically withholding compliments was NOT designed for
women like this.

In fact, if the more she LIKES you, the more likely it is your
leadership in this area will draw her out.  How's that for irony?



3)  She's Not Very Affectionate


In many cases, this one tends to go hand-in-hand (pun intended)
with #2 above.

What if you're out with a woman who is showing no sign
whatsoever of being even remotely attracted to you?

Some guys would immediately write off such a woman as "frigid".  

Well, here it is:  A LOT of high-quality women have been taught to
be reserved when it comes to showing signs of attraction early,
let alone being overtly affectionate.

After all, as we've talked about before, being branded a "slut" is a
high-quality woman's biggest nightmare.

Above and beyond that, there are plenty of cases when women have
absolutely no idea that they aren't showing any indication of
attraction.

They're the ones who write Emily wondering why guys don't plan
second dates after it really seemed they liked her.

Not only can you and should you show some patience with these
women, you should act on the situation and LEAD.

Present yourself as a man who respects women...the antithesis
of the guy who is "in it for one thing". 

Guard against coming off as sex-focused, and enjoy getting to
know her from a holistic perspective.

Give her the gift of knowing that were she to show affection, you'd
accept it gladly and not judge her for it.

And give her the even greater gift of knowing that she can show
affection on her terms, without pressure or the threat of "feeling
used".

And above all, exude masculinity as women view it and watch her
femininity ignite as a result. 

Kill the "neuter" stuff.  No interview questions.  Talk like a man
and treat her like a woman.

Realize if she's out on a second date with you, she probably
is attracted.  If it's a third date, take the risk and KISS her. 

Take all of what I've outlined in this section into consideration,
use it all in concert, and I assure you things will go very well
for you.



4)  She's Negative


I can't emphasize enough that simply calling out a woman's
tendency to "hate all sorts of stuff" really can put the kibosh on
it for good.

Sometimes women who are very negative are simply in dire
need of a positive experience.

Be that experience.  Personify it.

And if that alone doesn't cut it, then yes...address the "elephant
in the room". 

Tell her she seems like a terrific person to you, but you just
aren't interested in populating your life with negative people. 

Invite her to stop using the word "hate" so much, enjoy life and
smell the roses.

The frequency with which such leadership stops a woman
dead in her tracks will shock you, especially if you aren't used
to talking so boldly with women.

But hey, think of it this way:  Who really wants to be a bummer?
Lots of women are thoroughly oblivious to being negative at all.

I remember one time I encountered this exact scenario.  I didn't
argue with her, I simply offered to note every time she used the
word "hate" in a sentence, to which she agreed.

A half-hour later she was a changed woman.  Seriously.  And I
thoroughly enjoyed her company for many months thereafter.



5)  She's Not As Attractive As She Could Be


I've saved the best for last because this is truly one of the most
under-rated gems of masculine skill in the world.

Yes, your masculine leadership and positive regard for a woman can
actually cause her to become more attractive over time.  Especially
to you.

Think about it.

When she has a man like you in her life, her joy may increase.
This affects a woman's overall beauty in every way, even physically.

If you've ever experienced the glow on the face of a woman who
absolutely adores you, that's a key example of what I'm talking
about.

Moreover, being in a happy relationship may cause her to pay WAY
closer attention to how well she takes care of herself.  Stranger
things have happened.

And, of course, as you pour on the masculine charm, she'll
automatically respond with heightened femininity.  This tends to
have a very positive effect on us as men, right?

Maybe in college there was a woman in one of your classes who
you barely noticed.

But one day you got to the dining hall for lunch later than usual,
and since your usual crowd wasn't there you ended up having lunch
with her instead, sort of by default.

Maybe you found yourself super attracted to her from then on for
some strange reason.

I just shared the "strange reason" with you.

Oh, and by the way, the flip side of this principle is also true.

Men who tend to berate women they've "settled" for (or who
"settled" for them, for that matter) also tend to watch a self-
fulfilling prophecy come to pass.  She gets even less and less
attractive over time.

Such men have indeed led also.  Make no mistake about it.



OK, except for that last particularly sobering bit, the lion's
share of what I've just revealed to you is genuine reason for
excitement, isn't it?

After all, if you're like me you may have instantly written off
some if not ALL of the situations I described above in the past
without giving any thought to how you could have positively
affected the outcome as a man.

But you most certainly can.

Will your masculine leadership always prevail?

Of course not.  Human beings not only have free will, they tend
to be immensely complex as individuals.

However, by arming yourself with what I've shared both today
and yesterday, you'll dramatically increase the quality of your
relationships with women...and of their relationship with you too,
right?


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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