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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Being a "big four" man is the
best way to attract and keep a great woman around.
Unfortunately, it sure isn't the ONLY way, so...

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6 BAD WAYS TO KEEP A GOOD WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE


How should I put this?  Lately it's come to my attention that some
guys aren't exactly banking on the "big four" to keep the greatest
woman they've ever met in their lives.

As such, they tend to find that if and when they DO somehow attract
a truly terrific woman into their world, she tends to want to leave
sooner than later.

This is only natural. 

After all, if you're less than confident, neuter (at best) rather
than masculine, unable to make her feel safe and comfortable and fall
short of exhibiting utmost character a great woman WILL leave you.

Nevertheless, the lengths some guys will go to in avoiding the far
more effective way of keeping a terrific woman around never cease
to amaze me.

Case in point.

Not long ago one of Emily's attractive single friends stopped by
to hang out for a while.  Having known her for ages, we know she's
a truly terrific person through and through.

So we were more than surprised to find out she was still dating the
same guy she was a month ago. 

After all, she was talking about how she needed to break up with
him even then.

Why in the world was she still with him?

Well, in her own words, "I've tried everything, but every time I
tell him I'm breaking up with him he starts crying and begging me
to stay. And it just tugs at my heartstrings."

As bad as it already sounded, the story got worse.

"I cut off the sex.  I even stopped answering his phone calls.  But
he's still around.  Finally I just got sick of his sad voicemail
messages and gave in...at least until I can figure out a better way
to break up with him."

Ultimately, to save you the story of all her justifications of his
having been "hurt" by past girlfriends and having been raised by
wolves, or whatever, I'll just sum it up for you:  She's still with
him because she feels sorry for him.

She's "Ms. Nice Girl", frankly.  And this is what her world looks
like as a result.

Now someone out there is saying, "Wow, really?  If I just whine and
cry and beg I can keep a great woman around?  Maybe there IS
some hope for me as a total groveler."

Don't go there, man.  You're not going to find that strategy in
any of those "get your ex back" programs, especially the best
ones.

Believe me when I tell you that even though our friend's "boyfriend"
may still be in her life for now, it's a miserable existence for both of
them. 

I mean, raise your hand if you already know the whole scenario has
the word "settle" scribbled all over it.

But playing the "emotional weakness" card, as pathetic as it seems,
is really only the first of a half-dozen ways I believe we as men
can manipulate women into staying with us when they'd really
rather leave.

Here are the other five:



2)  Buying Her Stuff


This especially includes making a big joint purchase together (i.e.
a house or a car) when you already know the relationship isn't
headed in the right direction. 

But no matter what, if she's staying with you simply because you're
a "meal ticket" when she'd really rather leave neither one of you
will ever be happy. 

For the record, if you've successfully managed to get a woman
financially dependent on you to the point where she's essentially
trapped as your "indentured servant", be advised that arrangement
will end as soon as you can be replaced...count on it.



3)  Rallying Her Friends To Your Cause


If you're a smooth talker you can pick up the phone and persuade a
woman's friends that you really are the best thing that's ever
happened to her and that they should help you out by calling her
and reminding her so.

There's no better way to keep her interested than to really put
the social pressure on her to stay with the guy everyone else likes,
right? 

And that should get her to genuinely change her mind instead of
temporarily giving in...without any resentment whatsoever, right?

Not.



4)  Capitalizing On Any Weakness In Her Self-Esteem You
Can Find


This one typically plays out something like this:  "You'll never
find a guy better than me, so don't even think about leaving me
because you'll be all alone."

Essentially, this is nothing more than another style in which to
beg a woman to settle for you, albeit a more composed one than
crying and whining.

Still, It won't end well for either of you.



5)  Religious Manipulation


When a woman is strong in her faith, it's not uncommon for an
opportunistic guy who is flat-out desperate to keep her to play the
"God told me we're perfect for each other" card.

The implication here, of course, is that if she breaks off the
relationship she has pitted herself directly against the Higher
Power in the universe.

Given how women are indeed hardwired to follow a man's lead, this
particular tactic--along with the one that follows--may actually be
indicative of pure, sociopathic evil above and beyond the raw
desperation already exhibited by all six.



6)  Thinly Veiled Threats


"If you break up with me I'll beat you up" is a bit extreme for all
but the stupidest, lowest quality guys who are literally begging
for trouble. 

In fact, "If you move out I'll kill your dog" is still a bit too
extreme.

"If you move out I'll keep the dog" is more par for the course
here.



Beyond the shadow of a doubt, any of the six classes of tactics
I've exposed here are 100% ridiculous to the core.

Never mind the fact that you'll look like a weakling at best and an
Idiot/Jerk at worst if you run them, the truth is that none of them 
even work in the long run.

She still wants to leave, even if you temporarily succeed at getting
her to hang around.

Really...isn't it just easier to be a "big four" man (confident,
masculine as women define it, able to make her feel safe and
comfortable in your presence, strong character) and have a willing
woman in your life instead of a compliant one?

Wouldn't you rather rest knowing you're a CHOOSER rather than a
CHASER instead of living as if the axe were going to fall at any
second?

The good news is that how you go about attracting AND keeping a
high quality woman is your choice...always.


Be Good,

Scot McKay




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