[X&Y] Date Lots Of Women
Published: Mon, 01/08/24
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WHAT'S INSIDE: You may have more dating options than you think.
But you've got to make good use of them, or else they'll likely
vaporize into thin air...
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DATE LOTS OF WOMEN
Unless you been popular with the opposite sex your entire life,
today's topic is likely going to be uncharted territory for you.
Although just about anyone who is highly eligible can struggle
with what we are about to talk about, it's those who have most
recently made changes in their lives resulting in increased
popularity who are most confounded by it.
Since we're all about helping you have a wildly successful dating
life around here, you may be closer than you think to the day
when you find yourself confronted with the concept of having
real OPTIONS when it comes to who you are dating.
And that's a great place to be.
The vast majority of people on Earth quite simply do not have a
copious supply of people who can't wait to be with them
romantically.
Perhaps that's why so many of us end up marrying the first (and
often times the only) person who is willing to "put up with us".
Invariably, this leads to a state that I non-affectionately refer
to as having "settled".
"Settling" in turn leads eventually to both partners experiencing
virtually zero fulfillment from the relationship.
He or she who has "settled" will always have his or her nose
pressed to the glass gazing at the greener pastures outside.
Meanwhile, his or her partner is likely to become very bitter in
a relatively short period of time knowing that he or she is not
"enough" for the other.
Feeling inadequate--let alone BEING inadequate--is a humiliating
existence.
And of course, a partner who feels as if he or she has "settled"
likewise feels humiliated as well, generally when others appear
to believe (either implicitly or explicitly) that he or she could
have "done better".
So who has the more miserable existence? The partner who is
forever feeling slighted or the partner who is longing for better
and embarrassed to be seen in public together?
I don't know and I don't care, frankly. The question is really
moot.
The point is that YOU don't have to be EITHER ONE of those
people.
In your case, the greatest gift bestowed upon you by having
options is that you are thereby decreasing the probability that
you will end up "settling" as indeed most others do.
Instead of taking whatever you can get, even if only for a
single date as is the case for many people, you have CHOICES.
The experience of having options is a key earmark of dating
success. You are truly attractive to the opposite gender and
are doing things right.
At that point, all that's left is to give yourself permission
to EXPLORE those options.
It is my opinion that one who has the choice among numerous
worthy members of the opposite sex should be dating several of
them at once until he or she has not only a clear picture of
what he or she wants in a mate, but indeed until he or she feels
that person has actually been identified.
One does not have to sacrifice character or integrity in order
to do this effectively.
Your reputation as a man or woman of integrity and class is not
at stake simply because you are getting to know other people
more often (and more efficiently, frankly) than you used to.
That's EXTREMELY important to understand.
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NOTE: How exactly how to date multiple people at once with dignity
is discussed in greater detail in The Leading Man:
http://www.the-leading-man.com/subscribers
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If you are more comfortable dating one person at a time, I can't
deny that it will be easier for you to manage your dating life.
And there is, of course, no inherent fault in doing so.
Yet, I maintain that life is simply too short to stick
with one potential partner you are unsure of until being fully
sure he or she is not what you want.
"Serial dating" isn't only woefully inefficient, it's more
stressful and I'd argue less fun...at least until you've got
the woman you KNOW is perfect for you in your life.
The only way to quickly gain the most effective perspective on
what that ultimate partner will be like is to date as many people
as you can.
Unless and until you do that, all of your own conjecture regarding
what you want in a person is merely unproven speculation, isn't
it?
In order to maximize your dating success, you must leverage the
options you have towards having a greater sense of exactly what
kind of person you want to be with long term.
Otherwise, you'll not only LOSE OUT on a wealth of opportunities
with women, you'll take WAY too long to get to the one you
really, truly want.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
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