[X&Y] How To Stop Blaming Yourself <-- Practical Steps

Published: Sun, 03/03/24


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Discover how and why it's time to stop beating
ourselves up every time something doesn't go as planned with a
woman.

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SO GOOD I GOT A COPY FOR MYSELF


Okay, I don't usually talk like this but...

Go directly to this page and SKIP EVERYTHING until you get to
all the bullet points with blue check marks about a quarter of the
way down the page.

It says "Here's just a LITTLE of what you'll discover..." right above
that section:



Click Here And Scroll Down To The Good Part



I have to tell you. Those check marks should be GOLDEN instead
of blue.

You won't even need me to explain to you WHY that's true.

Just read the first several and you'll instinctively realize what your
world will soon be like if you can do this for women in the bedroom.

It'll hit you like a ton of bricks that you are going to be SET FOR
LIFE with completely mind-boggled, intensely satisfied women biting
their lower lips and begging for your attention.

I'd print a few of the check marked bullet points here for you to get
a load of, but it's so raw and NSFW my e-mail service would probably
block the messages.

Let's just say that NO MAN she's ever been with has ever even
THOUGHT about doing ANY of this stuff...

...any and all of which will set her off with that unmistakable (and
deeply satisfying) look of "shock and awe" women get when you're
doing something EXTREMELY right in the bedroom.

(You know you live for those moments, just like I do...right?)

I'll just spell it out for you...

By the time I got to the 5th check mark about the "vacuum" effect
that makes her explode in ecstasy for you, I slapped the desk and
gave in to my curiosity.

I had to have a copy of this mayhem-causing ridiculousness for
myself.  (Well, for Emily, really.)

It just felt like a moral imperative.  How dare she and I miss out
on this now that I know it exists?



She Gasps And Marvels At You In Wide Eyed Shock



This is all-new from one of the most legitimately brilliant
sexperts out there, and I fully admit this guy has figured out
stuff that most of us would never have stumbled upon in
our entire lives.

I think our women deserve it:



We'd ALL Have To Be Crazy To Miss Out On This



(Oh, and after I got my own copy of it, I convinced Justin to
give you guys a special deal on it.  You can thank me later, after
you realize how drastically well it works!)



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HOW TO STOP BLAMING YOURSELF


You got her number, and being the "big four" man that you are you
give her a call as promised. 

She doesn't answer, so you leave a voice mail.

She doesn't return it.

You try her number again a couple of days later...fully intending to
play it cool when she answers.

And again...voice mail.

So being a chooser rather than a chaser, you drop her a text saying
it was nice to meet her but find it disappointing that she doesn't
pick up the phone.  You prefer women who are mature enough not to
play games, and wish her well in the future. 

Lo and behold, the next day she calls you when you're tied up at
work and can't answer the phone.  You check voice mail later and
hear only a click...no message whatsoever.

How frustrating is that?

Or perhaps you're browsing around online and happen across
the profile of a woman who seems friendly and engaging, so you
write her a quick email. 

You've become a master at this stuff, so you craft a brilliantly
worded message that acknowledges you've read her profile in a
witty, charming way and issues a clear call to action...all in three
lines of text.

Later, you not only notice that she has opened and read your
message, but she's also looked at your profile six times in the
last 48 hours.

But you've got cobwebs forming on your inbox, nonetheless.

Crickets.

If you can relate to either of these examples, you're a normal,
red-blooded guy.

And for sure, when this sort of thing happens you're left to
wonder, "What on Earth did I do to mess this up?"

The answer may very well be NOTHING.  In fact, that's likely the
case.

In other words, often it's not YOU...it's THEM.

I've written to you previously about how we as guys tend to blame
ourselves when a date goes horribly wrong, even when any 3rd party
bystander could have easily concluded that the woman was a total
basket case--even as you had conducted yourself with textbook "big
four" perfection.

The truth of the matter is that women are equally as likely to have
dating and relationship issues as men. 

We're all human here, and women don't necessarily have everything
figured out, regardless of what you've been led to believe.

There's even a video or two circulating lately where a guy is
teaching how to get around brutal "rejection" by particularly aloof,
blatantly rude women.  

This is a great example of what we as guys tend to brainwash
ourselves into believing is perfectly normal and reasonable.

We put women on a pedestal so high that we'll simultaneously
excuse any preposterous behavior on their part while redoubling our
efforts to fix the problem of things "not working out".

So what ends up happening?

Because we're barking up the wrong tree from the get-go, we spend
our time trying to figure out how to REACT to the situation (i.e.
fix ourselves) rather than PROACTIVELY seeing the scenario for what
it is and taking leadership.

We don't see the forest for the trees, so we don't make rational
decisions and proceed accordingly.

This is precisely what everyone's talking about when they refer
to "being in your own head" and the need to "get outside" of it
instead.

To objectively illustrate what I'm getting at here, let's revisit
the two examples I gave above.

In the case of having gotten a woman's number only to encounter the
shenanigans I described, the typical knee-jerk reaction for most of
us as guys would be to think that we somehow managed to mess things
up, even though we haven't even spoken to her since meeting her.

Or maybe we'd allow ourselves to obsess over that initial conversation
--looking for what certainly must have been some blunder we made that
creeped her out later the more she thought about it.

But here's what's probably really going on.

You and I both know that it's hard to pick up the phone and follow
up with a woman. 

It was hard to call girls you liked in 7th grade, and nothing has
changed since.  Yet you do it.

So then, what makes you think that calling YOU is so easy for HER
to do?

The truth is that she may be just as wadded up over calling you
back as you were over calling her to begin with.

But yet you automatically assume that she'll "man up" and return
your call, don't you?

In the case of the woman you were hoping to meet online, maybe it's
not that your profile was as lurid a mess as you thought.

Maybe she's just massively gun shy about writing e-mails back
because she's self-conscious about her spelling.  Or perhaps she
just doesn't know what to write.

OR...maybe she's completely new to this whole online dating thing and
is totally intimidated in general...or perhaps (just perhaps) by YOU in
particular.  That factor can never be underestimated.

Guess what gentlemen?  Generally speaking, it may not be that she's
so indifferent about you as to be okay with blowing you off like a
rusty muffler.

The OPPOSITE may be true.

That's right.  She may really, really like you. 

She may even be sitting there thinking, "Oh wow...how am I going to
make sure NOT to ruin this?"

In fact, I believe you should go ahead and operate as if any or all of
this is the case if you see indications like unto what I've been describing
above.

So here's what you should do.

In the case of the woman you met and called on the phone, try this.
 
When you call her back, say, "Hey, I realize that talking to people
you just met on the phone can be a bit intimidating.  But hey, I'm
an easy going guy so don't be shy at all."

And for the woman you wrote on Match.com, you might write her back
after seeing all those profile hits and say something similar.
Make the first line: "Hey...caught you looking."

Inspiring confidence, or causing a woman to feel safe and secure
in your presence" is a mission-critical component of the "big
four".  

When you are able to see a situation when a woman appears to be
chickening out for what it is, you're better equipped to put her at
ease than if you're unable to get past your own insecurities.

Remember, all women--even the ones you're really attracted to--are
human beings.  

When you can move away from the "too good to be true" factor and
recognize that she may be just as excited and/or nervous to meet
you as you are about meeting her, you can put aside any concern
about looking needy.

Instead, you can confidently take leadership in a way that shows
her you're a man.

And yes...when you look at these situations through that filter, your
confidence is what turns your otherwise lame, apologetic voicemails
and e-mails into inspiring calls to action. 

The words you use aren't so revolutionary, but the attitude sure is.

Can you adopt that transformational mindset and get the job done?
My bet is you'll get that call or message returned if you can.
 

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