[X&Y] When NOT To Approach A Woman

Published: Tue, 03/12/24


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IN THIS EDITION:   There it is again...that little voice inside
your head telling you NOT to make your move with a certain
woman. It's completely possible you should listen to it.

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FOLLOW UP TO YESTERDAY'S E-MAIL ABOUT SEX


Yesterday I sent you a newsletter about how so many men
broadcast out loud how bad at sex they are...usually without
even realizing it.

This, of course, prompted lots of e-mails asking, "How in the
world do I get ALL of that right...without ever messing up?"

Fair question.  But really, it's not all that difficult to get virtually
every aspect of great sex down to a science.

There's a clear rhythm or flow to it all, starting with choosing
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If you're interested in mastering a woman's body to the point
of giving her the most intense, earth-shaking orgasms of her
life then you're ready for Behind Closed Doors.

Just be VERY careful with this information. 

While it's absolutely true that you can give your woman such
pleasure that she can't control screaming out loud, you don't
necessarily want to flaunt your newfound skills when traveling
and staying in hotels with thin walls.

Otherwise you can expect wry, knowing glances and smiles
from other women downstairs at breakfast the next morning.
And that won't make whatever guy they're with very happy. 

Don't ask me how I know that.



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WHEN NOT TO APPROACH A WOMAN


Despite everything you've been told about the importance of
nutting up and approaching women regardless, sometimes
you really shouldn't.

Yeah, yeah...I know.  That is a completely contrary thought.

And sure, most of the time you really should plow through anxiety
and insecurity so as to reward yourself--and her--with a bold,
confident introduction.

But what if you hear doubts in your head that aren't tied to shyness
or insecurity?  That's when your radar has to be tuned to a
completely different frequency in order to pick up those signals
properly.

Let me give some examples.

The obvious ones would include when a woman is married or has a
boyfriend, especially a jealous one with a tendency to fly off the
handle and shoot people.

Just about all of us would know we're literally flirting with disaster
in those situations.  
 
And don't kid yourself, if you think you're being a hero by shirking
common sense and going for it anyway, you're just creating
unnecessary complexity and drama in your life.

Any man who recognizes the abundance of potential choices
among women out there would stay away, and rightly so.

But what about other, more subtle red alerts?  Those are the
ones we might miss if we're "clouded by beauty-vision" in the
moment.

That's right...we're talking about when the "small head" starts
thinking for the "big head".

Get my drift?

Case in point.  You're on a business trip and leaving to catch a
plane home in a few hours.  In your mind, you know that if you
succeed at creating an instant, strong connection with that sexy
woman you've got your eye on it's only going to end in utter
frustration.

After all, you probably won't see each other ever again, and will
be left to wonder.  

At best (or worst, depending on how you look at it) you'll get
roped into buying a plane ticket to go see her...and whether
you actually get along in that context is wide open, if you're
realistic about it.
 
If a little voice is telling you to let it go rather than satisfying your
immediate urge to see what she's like, that's probably why.

Or how about this?

You find a particular woman in your social circle very sexy.   But
you also have every reason to believe that she's interested in
locking down the next guy she dates because she's all but
desperate to get married and start making babies.

You suspect she'd put the full court press on you, possibly even
working the angles to get pregnant by you.  But that's not what
you want in your life at the moment.

Better listen to your conscience on that one also.

Or, it could be that you have raging "warm-fuzzies" for a
particular woman, but from a compatibility perspective you fully
realize the two of you are completely wrong for each other.

And here's arguably the most poignant example of all: She's
sexy as all get-out at the physical level, but you know she's
either psycho or otherwise incapable of any kind of healthy
relationship whatsoever.

Deep down you realize it's a ridiculously bad and naïve idea
to try to fix her, so that sense of better judgment is telling you
(make that screaming at you) to stay away.

I get your e-mails, so I know for a fact some of you have
faith-based reasons for wishing to avoid sexual intercourse
before marriage. 

If that's the case, you'd better listen to whatever's in your noggin
telling you to avoid that impossibly sexy vixen who you know
doesn't share your beliefs.

And guess what?  The opposite scenario is also true. 

If you have no such moral restrictions and have your eye on a
woman who does, you might hear that "little voice" trying to tell
you that's not going to end well either. 

That voice is absolutely correct.  Your choices if you proceed
anyway are frustration, drama, or flat-out resentment.

I can hear some of you saying, "Yeah McKay, but I'm not going to
marry all of these chicks.  What's the big deal if I indulge in a
little fun here and there with women who might be trouble?"

Well, I could form a line from here to the moon of men who got
royally burned by that line of reasoning, and are still paying for
their mistakes, possibly for the rest of their lives.  Need I
elaborate?

The bottom line here is this:  What we're talking about is a major
difference between how immature little boys act compared to
mature, more evolved men.

Men who are choosers with an abundance mentality are more
likely to heed the voice inside their head.
 
Isn't it time to tell your "small head" to grow a pair? 

If you'll pardon two bad puns in consecutive sentences, that
would give you the whole package when it comes to succeeding
with women in the way that will bring you the most joy and the
least amount of pain.
 

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