[X&Y] 5 Ways To End "Ghosting"

Published: Fri, 03/15/24



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IN THIS EDITION: Here are step-by-step instructions
to making sure you turn phone numbers into real,
live first meetings.

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IS IT FINALLY TIME TO WORK WITH ME 1-ON-1?


Men of action get the results they want, especially when
it comes to improving their fortunes with women.

Are you a man of character who likes and respects
women, wants to do right by them and is more than ready
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Are you of sound mind and keen intelligence (perhaps
so much that it gets in the way sometimes)?

For over eighteen years I've had a proven track record
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Usually, it isn't long before they text me pictures of
themselves with a sexy sweetheart who's looking at him
with that "glow".  You can tell he's her hero.

There's no better feeling than waking up next to a
woman like that.

But meeting the wrong women over and over again
gets frustrating.

Meeting NO women, even more so.

If that's what you've grown accustomed to, that's not
how life has to be.



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Right now you may be feeling like you've had enough
and you're finally ready to have the success with women
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I'm still the only guy out there who surrounds his
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HOW TO END "GHOSTING":  5 STEPS TO MAKE SURE SHE
SHOWS UP


Flaking out, or "ghosting", has reached epidemic proportions among
today's women, especially the younger ones.

Countless guys report that they can't get a woman to show up for a
first meeting (aka "first date").

For some, this happens every single time they get a woman's number
or connect with her--especially on dating apps.

If you can relate, this is already giving you nightmarish flashbacks,
I'm sure.

Sometimes she texts ten minutes before you're supposed to meet
them.  Those messages usually start with, "Um....".

Or worse, maybe she flat-out stands you up. What a waste of time,
right?

From what I can see, practically every man struggles with this issue
nowadays.

Believe me, I've been there too.  It's frustrating stuff.

But guess what?  There are simple, straightforward ways to
dramatically increase your chances that she'll show up.

Before you go accusing me of sniffing drain pipes again, I invite
you to consider the following suggested sequence of events as a
proposed new strategy for increasing take rate on first meetings.

After all, you can keep on doing what you've always done and keep
on getting what you've always gotten, like every other Average Joe.

Or...you can handle things with a little more polish and style and
outperform average guys when it comes to success with women.

What'll it be?



1)  THINK A FEW CHESS MOVES AHEAD


I admit it.  I can't sit still long enough to enjoy chess.  

But I know this much.  What separates a great chess player from all
others is an ability to visualize what the board could conceivably
look like several moves ahead.  

By doing this, he is able to form his next move with a greater
eventual goal in sight, perhaps even without his opponent realizing
the depth of his strategy until it's too late.

Now, it's not like we're trying to ensnare women into being
checkmated here, of course, but you get the idea.

Instead of approaching a woman with tunnel vision about getting
her number (or simply not getting rejected), try opening your mind
to the bigger picture.

Simply adopting the mindset that the approach, the conversation and
even getting her digits don't equal success in themselves will
get you on the right track, even as most other guys are already
derailed.

Think in terms of looking ahead to a successful first date and
eventually calling your own shot regarding continuing the
relationship or not.

This simple mind shift will work wonders from minute one because
she doesn't feel like you're chasing her.



2)  HER COMFORT IS EVERYTHING


If you are worried about being rejected, worried about saying the
wrong thing, worried she has a boyfriend, or worried about anything
else don't be surprised if she's worried right back atcha.

As I often remind you, women will follow your lead.

If you aren't creepy, aggressive or otherwise threatening most
women will be perfectly friendly to you.  If they are not friendly
when you've been perfectly reasonable and personable with them,
then I'd say you've dodged a bullet.

I hear from guys all the time who are confused about consistent
failure to make first dates happen, and they blame women for it.  

But the reality is that they've almost always been presenting
themselves to women in a way that causes discomfort to them.

And if she's not comfortable with you, she's not going out with you.

She will not be willing to be alone with you.  Even in a "well lit
public area".

The cure is to let go of being so self-absorbed.  Don't over-analyze
potential bad things that could happen to you in a pickup situation,
and instead wake up to considering what will make her feel more
comfortable with you.

Women actually love it when a calm, casual guy starts a respectful
conversation with them.  

By the way, you are not a threatening, creepy weirdo simply because
you are a man, so free yourself from worrying about that too.    

You are only a threatening, creepy weirdo when you're threatening,
creepy or weird.

And if you're not normally that way, it's only going to come off as
such if you're too wadded up in your own gig to pay attention to the
situation at hand.



3)  BE CLEAR ABOUT YOUR INTENTIONS, BUT CHOOSE YOUR
WORDS CAREFULLY


OK, now we get to the part that you might especially appreciate if
you often find yourself striking up great conversations with women
only to later be left wondering "what happened?"

Basically, we've got to keep in mind that women really do want to
meet guys, go on dates and be happy.  

But all too often, we instead talk them out of going out with us
before they've even had a chance to draw their own conclusions.

It's okay to want to see her again.  It's okay that you're attracted
to her.

In fact, she knows both of those things already.  Instinctively.

So make with it, already.  Otherwise, she's not going to ask herself
out.  

And she's not going to suggest it's okay for you to ask her out
either, in case you're wondering.  She wants you to lead.

So stop shying away from all of this.  If you wimp out, she'll know
exactly what the deal is.

It sounds so basic, doesn't it?  But in the real world, guys get a
woman's number and they quickly duck out, thinking they're
"quitting while they're ahead".

You don't want her number...you want her.  Think about that one
for a second.

If you've ever been in sales before, think of it this way:  You
don't want a lead...you want a sale.

Commissions are way different than human beings, of course,
but the analogy applies, doesn't it?

So don't simply "get her number".  Tell her you want to see her
again.

Here are the three magic words:  "Lets make plans."

You don't have to come right out with the pressure of,  "Uh...let's
go out on a date."  And you don't have to euphemize the issue by
saying, "Let's hang out sometime."

Nope.  "Let's make plans" is the world's smoothest way to
articulate exactly what you are up to, all in a distinctly masculine
and confident manner.   



4)  SET EXPECTATIONS


Sure, you've actually got to get her number.  But what most guys
forget to do is tell her what they plan to do with her number.

As we've just noted above, lots of guys bail after getting her
number.

But the reality is that they're only setting themselves up for
failure.

After all, most guys get her number without giving her theirs
(which does not have to be your style, by the way).

As a result, all you are is an unknown phone number at a random
time...and she's not going to answer.

That's a shame, because if you've made it this far there's a pretty
good chance she'd be excited to hear from you when you call.

So shouldn't you let her know when she might expect to be
ready to answer the friggin' phone?

Man up and set expectations appropriately.

When you get her number, tell her you're going to call her.  And
tell her when.

You're not going to "hit and run" with some text message because
you have no idea what you'd say were she to actually answer the
phone and/or because you fear she won't have an "erase/re-record"
function on her voicemail.

And since you are a confident, masculine man you don't worry
about looking needy because you aren't needy.

The smart strategy when setting expectations is to tell her that you
value women with integrity and that you won't be playing any games.
 
You may even tell her you look forward to talking to her more.

So assuming you really have to get up early the next morning and
it's going to be a long day, tell her you'll call her day after tomorrow.
Sometime around mid-evening, maybe.

Have the presence of mind to make sure she'll actually be available
at the time you're going to call her.



5)  FOLLOW UP


Now here's the simplest (but not necessarily the easiest) part:
Actually do what you said you'd do.

All that's left is to call her when you said you would, and make
plans like you said you would.

You tell her when you'd like to meet with her.

You tell her you believe that the man should pick a woman up and
bring her home, but you respect the fact that you're just getting to
know each other.  So if she'd like to meet you at the appointed place
and time that's fine.

She'll tell you what she's comfortable with.  And yes, she'll be
comfortable with the choice, all because you set the tone.

And if she can't make it when you suggest, she may offer a
different time.  Then again, she may not have that part of dating
skill figured out yet.  After all, she's human, remember?

If she doesn't suggest a time when she is available, suggest a
second one for her.  If she can't make that one, then you have two
choices.

First, you can assume she's uninterested and hang up.

Or, you can sack up and remember you aren't desperate.  You're
simply a man who knows how to get what he wants and make things
happen.

You can say that she clearly sounds like a busy woman, and that can
only mean she really needs to get out of the house.  Have her suggest
two times that will indeed work for her.  One will likely work for you.

Then get over yourself.  It was either that or voluntarily cancel your
own chances.  Sometimes women are thinking exactly what you're
thinking:  "don't be too available".  

Someone's got to break the stalemate, and you can lead by breaking
it the way I just suggested, all while coming off as even more of a real
man in the process.



Truth be told, there's no foolproof way to get a first date with a woman.

Anything can happen between when you first approach her and when
you actually get around to meeting alone together.  

But given a situation where it's unreasonable to make plans on the
spot and whisk her away with you, what I've just shared is a way
more solid plan than what most guys consciously bring to the table.

The key word being "conscious".  Look alive out there and give
yourself a clear advantage.
 

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