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WHAT'S INSIDE:  There's the infamous "JBF Zone", but then
there's the "Harmless Zone".  Ouch.

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6 GUYS WHO ARE HARMLESS (DON'T BE ONE OF THEM)
   

When two people are seeing each other and one isn't quite
feeling it, the other is invariably about to get the feared Just Be
Friends Talk. 

This, of course, is assuming we're not dealing with desperate,
clingy people who would rather settle than be confronted with
having to meet someone else. 

And "nice guys" everywhere universally dread the JBF Talk, as
inevitable as it ends up being much of the time when a woman's
femininity fails to be ignited.

But there is a place even MORE dreadful than the JBF Zone.

As heinous as it is, however, it's oftentimes completely ignored
as even a remote possibility by most men.  

After all, if you are imprisoned there you may not even realize
it. You may actually be naïve enough to believe you are getting
somewhere with the women you interact with.

And this, my brethren, is what makes this particular place even
more insidious. 

Yes, indeed.  If "JBF" is a "Zone", then "Harmless" is a "Dungeon".

You see, if you are given the JBF lecture, then there's an
automatic assumption that at one point you at least were given a
chance romantically. 

But if you're harmless it's generally understood--probably by
everyone--that you have no hope of generating attraction. 

Not a snowball's chance in Yuma, AZ. 

The crazy part of this dynamic, however, is that harmless guys
typically can get away with breathtaking displays of flirtation
with drop-dead hotties...and actually get friendly responses from
them. 

Other guys around them are awestruck. How can THAT guy get
so much female attention?

It's simple, big guy. He's HARMLESS. 

You? If you were to flirt like that you would risk being taken
seriously, which unfortunately is way too much risk for most
guys.

So how does a man end up shackled in the JBH Dungeon?



1)  Too Young


One time a while back a bunch of us were out at a restaurant that
was particularly known for hiring attractive waitresses.

Someone's eleven-year-old son began bantering with one such
waitress in a particularly forward manner. 

Before his embarrassed Mom could bring herself to discipline him
for his rudeness, something bizarre had already started happening. 

The waitress responded to the kid in kind, and even kissed him on
the cheek. 

Preposterous!

Nah, not really.

He was harmless, at least for several more years. No doubt that
confidence will serve him well someday, though.

For what it's worth, my son Scot Jr. has been warming up
waitresses and older girls at the BMX track since he was seven.



2)  Too "Grandfatherly"


Another time, back in the IT world, I worked in an office
that--again--was known for hiring attractive women. 

One time, during one of those impromptu hallway 'meetings', a
very kind, paternal British gentleman mere months from his
retirement date wandered up and proclaimed, "I do declare,
never have I seen such a fine collection of extraordinary
beauties in one office." 

At that point, two of the referenced women exclaimed, "Awww!"
and kissed him on the cheek simultaneously. 

One Armani-clad thirtysomething guy in the huddle responded by
blurting out, "Hey, what about me?"

Both women raised their eyebrows and one retorted, "Him? Stop
being jealous. He's Harmless."  

They then wheeled around on their heels and walked away.



3)  Famously Happily Married


If someone is blissfully happy in his or her married relationship,
and everyone knows it, there are certain--and sometime strange--
incidences when such a person can get away with jokes and/or
banter that nobody else could. 

Usually, this is seen when there's a particularly quick wit and
a distinct lack of jealousy between spouses involved. 

Some guys can just naturally get away with saying things to
women, particularly among friends or in the workplace, that
others would never utter in a million years. 

But it's okay. These people are harmless.

Don't feel bad for guys like this though, they're well taken
care of at home.



4)  Gay


When women interact with gay men the flirtatious banter that
sometimes occurs can confuse the heck out of other people
around.

Now you know why. Harmless.

But again, don't feel sorry for this guy either. It's not like
he's all that broken up over it.



5)  Physically Uncared For, To The Extreme


If someone--particularly a guy--is morbidly obese, in ill health,
poorly groomed and/or extremely unattractive in any other
way, then he is often considered harmless by women. 

Ironically, the more physically fit and sexually attractive a woman
is, the more likely she is to respond in a playful manner to
flirtatious banter from such a person, especially if she has an
outgoing personality. 

Now you know why this goes on. 

To a lesser degree this dynamic can be seen in reverse, but almost
always when the woman's personality makes her irresistibly fun to
be around...harmlessly.



6)  Weak Personality, To The Extreme


Very shy, socially removed, and/or socially unskilled guys often
receive special attention from certain beautiful women, especially
very sweet and outgoing ones. 

Such women inherently understand that these guys are likely getting
zero female attention, so they therefore smile at them and hug them
because they're harmless.

After all, such socially hamstrung guys won't be crazy enough to
act upon it or anything.



By now you've guessed that the first four bullet points above
aren't really negotiable, or at least we tend to think they're not. 

Granted, boys grow up, older guys can get "game" if they so choose
(the gentleman in the above scenario was not of that frame of
mind), marrieds aren't always immune to cheating, and those who
are gay may become bi-curious. 

But generally speaking, those first four scenarios are safe-havens
for all involved.

It's points #5 and #6 that we can do something about. 

If you have solid reason to believe that either of those last two
situations apply to you, and you wonder how you can be getting
female attention but no dates, now you know why. 

I know this is where a lot of guys live on a daily basis, yet an
amazing number don't even realize it.

Discovering what's going on can be sobering, for sure.

Recently, Emily and I hit one of our favorite local casual
eateries.

There they were: Two pretty young women with their harmless guy
friends, both of whom were trying unsuccessfully to believe they
had a chance, much to the amusement of the ladies.

So yes...what we are talking about is very, very real.

Outlining what it takes for someone to get out of the "Just Be
Harmless Dungeon" is way beyond the scope of this short piece.

But know for starters that it is absolutely possible, and can be
accomplished faster than you might think.  

For practical help and effective solutions, my Invincible
program delivers in great detail.

There is one important caveat to this conversation. 

Someone out there is saying, "Yeah, but she gave me the 'JBF
Talk' before we even went out, and all I did was simply express
some interest. That was the worst!"   

Okay, granted. But that was no "JBF Talk", at least according to
the working definition we use around here. 

In such case, you've been issued notice as such: "You are
supposed to remain harmless...so please stay that way so we
can forget this ever happened."

Call it a "JBH Talk in JBF Talk clothing".

And what if you are finding that MOTOS are completely
disgusted with you and avoid you at all costs? 

Okay, you've got me there.

Now you're talking about flat-out 'creepiness'. 

That's the worst 'zone' of all.


Be Good,

Scot McKay





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