[X&Y] Mascuninity And Machismo Are Not Synonymous
Published: Thu, 01/18/24
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Is being "macho" really a bad thing? Not if you
know the secret...
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MASCULINITY AND MACHISMO ARE NOT SYNONYMOUS
As you know, I harp a lot about igniting femininity. More
specifically, I talk about how the best way to do that is by being
masculine in the way that women define it.
A man who has a plan, makes effective decisions and knows
how to keep his cool when the chips are down (among other
things) represents what women want most in a man.
Typically, I contrast this idea with "machismo".
Being "macho", at least generally speaking, is the concept of doing
what it is that we as guys do to impress EACH OTHER.
Getting together with your mountain biking buds and playing in the
mud. Barbecue contests. Chirping the tires when catching third
gear.
Well, today I want to set the record straight about something.
Even though I focus on the difference between MASCULINITY as
women define it and MACHISMO, there's NOTHING wrong with
doing guy stuff just for the sake of it...even if it's not exactly the
kind of activity that attracts women per se.
That's right. Not everything you do in life has to serve the
express purpose of attracting women.
I mean, even once you have a great woman (or several) in your
life, you're still going to hang out with your friends and do
what you enjoy in that context.
We like our time away from women every once in a while.
Getting away on a Saturday morning for a round of golf comes to
mind. Did you know that the word "golf" itself is believed by some
to have originated as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies
forbidden"?
By the way, yes...that makes the idea of a "Ladies Golf Tour" about
as much of an oxymoron as "jumbo shrimp". God bless Scotland, I
tell you.
So, why to women roll their eyes so much about guys acting all
"macho"?
On the surface it might seem like women don't want to admit
that we're NOT LIKE THEM.
Well, not so fast.
The actual answer to what's going on here is a bit different...but
still very simple, nonetheless.
Show me a woman who openly shows disdain for guys acting like
That's right. Not everything you do in life has to serve the
express purpose of attracting women.
I mean, even once you have a great woman (or several) in your
life, you're still going to hang out with your friends and do
what you enjoy in that context.
We like our time away from women every once in a while.
Getting away on a Saturday morning for a round of golf comes to
mind. Did you know that the word "golf" itself is believed by some
to have originated as an acronym for "gentlemen only, ladies
forbidden"?
By the way, yes...that makes the idea of a "Ladies Golf Tour" about
as much of an oxymoron as "jumbo shrimp". God bless Scotland, I
tell you.
So, why to women roll their eyes so much about guys acting all
"macho"?
On the surface it might seem like women don't want to admit
that we're NOT LIKE THEM.
Well, not so fast.
The actual answer to what's going on here is a bit different...but
still very simple, nonetheless.
Show me a woman who openly shows disdain for guys acting like
guys around each other and I'll show you a woman whose femininity
hasn't been ignited.
The MISTAKE we tend to make is misdirecting our "macho"
activities and mindsets TOWARD WOMEN instead of toward each
The MISTAKE we tend to make is misdirecting our "macho"
activities and mindsets TOWARD WOMEN instead of toward each
other as guys.
This isn't exactly going to make her hot for us. After all, being
macho has ZERO to do with emphasizing sexual polarity.
Think about it from our perspective of femininity as men.
It's the things a woman does that REPRESENT joy, beauty,
playfulness and her ability to provide comfort that turn us on.
It's not the fact that she reads tabloids. She's better off
talking to her girlfriends about what the A-list celebs have been
up to.
And if she wants to go shoe shopping, she's more than welcome
to leave you at home.
But what if all she did was hit us up to partake in all of that
with her? We'd get bored with her pretty fast.
No kidding, right? The "girlie" stuff isn't interesting to us,
just like "macho" stuff isn't to her.
But there's another MORE IMPORTANT reason a woman might
be openly resentful of the "macho" stuff we do with our friends.
If we prioritize those things while giving minimal (if any)
attention to igniting her femininity, she feels trivialized or even
left out altogether.
It's as if our friends (or even ourselves) come before meeting her
needs as a woman.
She might even believe we aren't at all about keeping her best
interests in focus.
And THAT, my friend, means she might not feel so safe and secure
around you...which by now you know is a major "big four" blunder.
About a year ago a guy called me because his marriage was on the
rocks. Despite being an amazing provider and a man of considerable
ambition, his wife had grown more and more openly resentful over
the years.
He had let his ambition take over all else, taking him away from his
family quite a bit and allowing his business matters to monopolize
his thoughts.
As it turned out, he and his wife didn't even sleep in the same bed
anymore.
In the garage, all the while, was a certain Porsche 911 Turbo
convertible.
This man's wife HATED that car with a passion every bit as hot as
its Guards Red paint job.
In her mind, that car was a cheap substitute for HER.
When he stepped on the accelerator, she surmised that to be
tantamount to sexual excitement. Heck, the car was even SHAPED
like a woman.
So you can imagine the guy's surprise when I told him that had he
prioritized igniting his wife's femininity over all else, she would
have likely approved of the car.
In fact, she may have GIVEN it to him as a Christmas present,
wrapped up in one of those big bows like you see in the
commercials.
You see, once a woman's femininity is ignited by your
representation of masculinity as she defines it, the eye rolling
regarding any of your "macho" pastimes on the side will flat-out
STOP.
Sure, she may kid you about them. But she'll no longer RESENT
them. In fact, she may SUPPORT what you do.
THAT'S why you can go to softball games and certain guys'
girlfriends are cheering them on.
THAT'S why some guys' wives buy them new sets of golf clubs for
Christmas.
In fact, when you first succeed at portraying masculinity in the
way a woman defines it, she tends to even LIKE the fact that you
have some macho pastimes reserved for your friends.
You see, your time away with friends gives HER the occasional
This isn't exactly going to make her hot for us. After all, being
macho has ZERO to do with emphasizing sexual polarity.
Think about it from our perspective of femininity as men.
It's the things a woman does that REPRESENT joy, beauty,
playfulness and her ability to provide comfort that turn us on.
It's not the fact that she reads tabloids. She's better off
talking to her girlfriends about what the A-list celebs have been
up to.
And if she wants to go shoe shopping, she's more than welcome
to leave you at home.
But what if all she did was hit us up to partake in all of that
with her? We'd get bored with her pretty fast.
No kidding, right? The "girlie" stuff isn't interesting to us,
just like "macho" stuff isn't to her.
But there's another MORE IMPORTANT reason a woman might
be openly resentful of the "macho" stuff we do with our friends.
If we prioritize those things while giving minimal (if any)
attention to igniting her femininity, she feels trivialized or even
left out altogether.
It's as if our friends (or even ourselves) come before meeting her
needs as a woman.
She might even believe we aren't at all about keeping her best
interests in focus.
And THAT, my friend, means she might not feel so safe and secure
around you...which by now you know is a major "big four" blunder.
About a year ago a guy called me because his marriage was on the
rocks. Despite being an amazing provider and a man of considerable
ambition, his wife had grown more and more openly resentful over
the years.
He had let his ambition take over all else, taking him away from his
family quite a bit and allowing his business matters to monopolize
his thoughts.
As it turned out, he and his wife didn't even sleep in the same bed
anymore.
In the garage, all the while, was a certain Porsche 911 Turbo
convertible.
This man's wife HATED that car with a passion every bit as hot as
its Guards Red paint job.
In her mind, that car was a cheap substitute for HER.
When he stepped on the accelerator, she surmised that to be
tantamount to sexual excitement. Heck, the car was even SHAPED
like a woman.
So you can imagine the guy's surprise when I told him that had he
prioritized igniting his wife's femininity over all else, she would
have likely approved of the car.
In fact, she may have GIVEN it to him as a Christmas present,
wrapped up in one of those big bows like you see in the
commercials.
You see, once a woman's femininity is ignited by your
representation of masculinity as she defines it, the eye rolling
regarding any of your "macho" pastimes on the side will flat-out
STOP.
Sure, she may kid you about them. But she'll no longer RESENT
them. In fact, she may SUPPORT what you do.
THAT'S why you can go to softball games and certain guys'
girlfriends are cheering them on.
THAT'S why some guys' wives buy them new sets of golf clubs for
Christmas.
In fact, when you first succeed at portraying masculinity in the
way a woman defines it, she tends to even LIKE the fact that you
have some macho pastimes reserved for your friends.
You see, your time away with friends gives HER the occasional
break from YOU to go get a pedicure or to see Sex And The City II
with HER friends.
And since she's not taking personal offense to feeling slighted or
left out, she starts seeing you as having that kind of exciting
life that we all know is attractive to women.
So in a way, doing "macho" things CAN make your more attractive to
a woman...albeit in an indirect manner. Isn't that something?
In effect, she's ready to CELEBRATE the fact that you're a man in
EVERY way, all because you prioritized what creates sexual polarity
when interacting with her.
And here's the crazy part.
If all is well in the universe, she'll have ignited your
masculinity as effectively as you have taken care of her.
As a direct result, you just might look forward to seeing how she
looks in the new pair of shoes she bought.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Remember, there's a full audio program called "Igniting
Femininity: 14 Ways Women Define Masculinity" that's part of
The Man's Approach:
The Man's Approach
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download
And since she's not taking personal offense to feeling slighted or
left out, she starts seeing you as having that kind of exciting
life that we all know is attractive to women.
So in a way, doing "macho" things CAN make your more attractive to
a woman...albeit in an indirect manner. Isn't that something?
In effect, she's ready to CELEBRATE the fact that you're a man in
EVERY way, all because you prioritized what creates sexual polarity
when interacting with her.
And here's the crazy part.
If all is well in the universe, she'll have ignited your
masculinity as effectively as you have taken care of her.
As a direct result, you just might look forward to seeing how she
looks in the new pair of shoes she bought.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. Remember, there's a full audio program called "Igniting
Femininity: 14 Ways Women Define Masculinity" that's part of
The Man's Approach:
The Man's Approach
=====
If you like what you've read, please feel free to forward this
newsletter to others. Help a friend out.
In fact, did a friend forward YOU this message? To receive this
newsletter for men from X & Y Communications on a regular basis,
simply visit our main portal...
www.deservewhatyouwant.com
...drop your email in the annoying popup window, and download
"Get The First Date...And The Second Date" for free. Or, just send
a blank email to xandy@aweber.com. Easy stuff.
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This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it.
while being neither too shy nor too judgmental to hit the important
things head on. The basic stuff you've heard a million times isn't
rehashed around here. Enjoy!
Please also note that the information in this newsletter is for
entertainment purposes only and is not intended to constitute
professional advice.
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it.
we will kindly remove you from our mailing list.
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