[X&Y] Lots Of One-Night Stands Vs. One Great Woman

Published: Fri, 02/02/24



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LOTS OF ONE NIGHT STANDS VS. ONE GREAT WOMAN


Hey Scot, how's it going?

Just wanted to say, I checked over your site and I think it's
awesome what you are doing and teaching people!  You have
inspired me to start deserving what I want also instead of settling
for just anyone. 

I really don't have trouble meeting woman and going on dates,
it's just that I haven't found a lot of quality women in this
world. I've been in lots of one-night stands with women and
have come to the realization that it doesn't bring happiness.

Only having a true connection with a woman leads to happiness.

My only question to you is how did you know the woman you're
married to now was the right one for you? Out of all the women
you dated, how did you know she was the one?

How did you know when to stop dating is the question I'm trying
to ask? What if you kept on dating instead of stopping and met
another high quality woman?


Anonymous



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Thanks for your kind words.  I really enjoy hearing from people who
are inspired.  I appreciate your story and your revelations.  

As for one-night-stands, I've never understood it.  I've always
thought that if a woman was worth being intimate with once, she
was worth more than that.  

Besides, if I really liked her having sex only a single time would be
nothing short of frustrating.

So then...how did I know it was time to stop dating?

Your core question really is a BIG one.  Here's the answer...
 
I dated many women.  And I dated as many of them at once as I
could handle.

As I did, I made very careful notes of what I liked and didn't
like, even going so far as to building a spreadsheet so as to rein
in my typically right-brained approach to "winging it" when it
comes to such things.   

As I learned more about women and what they want from a man,
and as I began to deserve a great woman more and more, I raised
the proverbial bar as far as the quality of women in my life.  

So yes, like I found out first-hand, guys like you and me run the
distinct risk of encountering the enviable problem of having more
than one high quality woman in the picture.

But having control over one's dating life is key in this situation.

This means making the choices that affect one's own life.  Being
able to attract and make my own decisions regarding the women
in my life, I placed myself into the position of being able to fine-tune
who it was I was looking for...and eventually I recognized her
almost instantly.

This meant cutting ties with some great women, but I was also at a
point in my life where I was comfortable with the notion of being
ready for some stability around here.  

Importantly, that decision was my own choice--no pressure from
her--based on experience and being in a position of strength rather
than neediness when it came to my interactions with women in my
life.    
 
There's so much more to this, though.  Your attitude matters way
more than objective strategy, and certainly more than tips, tricks
and tactics.  

You must respect and genuinely enjoy women holistically rather
than being sex-focused, which I've talked about quite a bit in this
space lately.

Otherwise, you will get what you deserve--which is much less than
what cements a solid long-term future with a great woman.

A man who understands and actually likes women realizes the
crucial importance of masculinity and thereby draws women to him.

Women everywhere crave a man who is masculine enough to
awaken their femininity.  Get this principle down and begin having
the "enviable" problem cited above.
 
Now, being the kind of guy we're talking about here is actually not
so hard to pull off.  For most guys, it's kind of like a "light bulb" that
goes on after struggling with the concepts for a brief while.  

It's kind of like when you learn how to ride a bike.  

That said, winning a downhill mountain bike race, for example,
is a bit more advanced than simply getting rid of the training
wheels, if you get my drift.

How about a woman's perspective on all of this?  Just a couple of
nights ago you wouldn't have believed the quality of our waitress
at dinner who announced to us that she was "dateless".  

Although she was beginning to doubt herself, the only difference
between her and her friends was that she refused to settle for a
moron.  

Good for her.  She shouldn't settle for anyone less than who she
deserves any more than you or I should.

Emily and I both agreed that she should take great pride in her
pickiness instead of doubting it and she will begin to see the men
she deserves come looking for her.  These men, by the way,
happen to be guys like YOU.  

Did I mention that this 21 year old sweetheart with big brown
eyes and a priceless smile was dateless?

There are not enough great men to go around.  Do your part to
change that...and win.  It's really that simple.
 

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