[X&Y] 3 Ninja Ways To Warm Up Cold Phone Numbers
Published: Tue, 05/14/24
Updated: Tue, 05/14/24
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Did you get a phone number from a
woman some time ago that never really panned out to
anything? Here's your best shot at getting back in touch
with her after all.
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MEET WOMEN AND GET THEIR NUMBERS...
STARTING TODAY
Today's newsletter is all about women you somehow never got
around to getting in touch with.
Yet, I already know what some of you out there may be saying.
"First I'd have to actually GET a woman's digits before I can get
around to the next step, McKay."
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to get a girl's number.
I call that crazy problem "2nd Stage Approach Anxiety".
I mean, first you've got to get the nerve to actually TALK to her.
And then? What if she flatly laughs you off when you mention
continuing the conversation later?
What if she says you're "nice", but she's just not interested?
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3 NINJA WAYS TO WARM UP COLD PHONE NUMBERS
Who cares why it happened? You might not quite be able to
explain it yourself.
But for whatever reason, you got a woman's phone number
and never really got around to using it.
So having found it crumpled up in the pocket of a pair of
trousers you had thrown in the corner, you remember how
hot she was and kick yourself for never following up with her.
Wait a second, though. Is it really too late?
Well, let's get real here. Yeah, it probably is.
But that's the glorious wonder of the word "probably" in this
context. It's just far enough away from "definitely" to leave
room for "possibly".
So, as long as we're all clear on the simple fact that this
is a low-probability exercise and that there's no way NOT to
make it sort of klugey by it's very nature, then YES...there's
a strategy (or three) that you can use that just might work in
your favor.
First, of course...you've got to realize there's actually a
number you've yet to call.
Then, you'll need to gather the stones to go ahead and call
it--especially if fear is the real reason why it's been gathering
dust all this time.
What do you actually say when she picks up the phone (or
when you get her voicemail, for that matter)?
Well, for sure you can't nonchalantly pass off the whole
situation as if nothing is weird about it. That'll get you
nowhere.
And you don't want to start off by apologizing profusely for
being a bonehead and begging her to talk to you anyway.
No attraction is going to be ignited like that.
But you can keep personal power while "saving face" by
clearly citing an honest reason to contact her.
That's really the secret to engaging her, as it gives her a
legit excuse to respond. In essence, you want to make it
easy on her to go ahead and talk to you, despite the
circumstances.
Here are three VERY simple, uncomplicated ways to
package all of this:
If you tell her that something you saw triggered a thought
of her, that might very well soften the perception in her
mind of having been 'forgotten'. After all, in order to be
reminded of someone, she has to be memorable to begin
with.
Naturally, whatever you bring up will need to be a positive,
pleasant "something" in order for this to end well for you.
The idea here is that you indeed filed away an association
between her and something else, and now that "something
else" has come up in some other context.
So then, since she has something to do with it, you
therefore have the perfect reason to call her and get her
thoughts, ideas, opinions or whatever.
Another variation on this would be, "What was the name
of that [thing/place/person] you mentioned again?"
Almost invariably, the woman will wonder aloud why you
needed to take so long to come up with such an objective
reason to call her back. And yes, she's going to have a
really good point.
Remember, none of what I'm telling you in this newsletter
is a "slam dunk". Far from it.
There's no good excuse for taking forever to call her.
She already suspects you're not all that excited about
her.
You may as well say, "Well, people are busy nowadays
so I wasn't going to call you unless there was a something
really good to talk about for sure."
That might actually work, even if it still doesn't quite add
up. For some odd reason, I can imagine a woman
shrugging her shoulders and accepting that the male
mind just might work like that.
The truth is, of course, that if you're an interesting man
you'll FIND something great to talk about and call her
anyway. That's optimal, but it's also what would have
made sense a day or two after getting her number instead
of weeks later.
So you go with your best option in the midst of a "worst
case scenario", which on second thought may actually b
the next one, to be honest...
Here it is, and I sincerely trust you were fully expecting this
from me.
The third, and possibly best option also happens to be
the easiest in many ways.
You just tell her the truth, albeit in a way that keeps
embarrassment and hurt feelings to a bare minimum.
So obviously, then, the words to reach for aren't, "Look, I
met you and you were okay, but calling you just wasn't a
high priority."
Or, "I decided to see a different girl instead of you, but that
didn't work out, so you're next in line." Ouch.
"Hey, I just chickened out until now...sorry about that."
probably will fall flat also, although if your shyness comes
off as charming (the probability of which being low) it might
work better than any statement that trivializes her ever
could.
The bottom line is you messed up, so you can make a bold
statement that you respect her by "manning up" and
apologizing, along with setting forth the intention of making
things right.
Don't cringe just yet. You're not randomly saying, "I'm
sorry" and thereby looking like a wimpy "nice guy". You
legitimately dropped the ball, and that's when a real man
owns up instead of blaming others and/or acting defensive.
Women are instinctively attracted to men who rise to the
occasion like that, and they can't help it.
Try this: "I fully understand that I took too long to call you,
and that wasn't right. It was a mistake not to give us both
the chance to know each other better, and I want to make
this right."
Just look at the beauty of that. In one finely-crafted but
elegantly concise thought, you've simultaneously affirmed
her, retained your personal power, demonstrated attractive
masculine traits AND shown leadership...all the while
helping her think positive thoughts about you.
What more could you ask? More importantly, what more
could SHE ask?
Ultimately, she may not be at all interested in seeing you
again, and she could even cut the conversation short.
That's not only what's likely to happen, it's certainly her
prerogative to feel that way after such a colossal mess-up
on your part.
Whatever you do, don't take that as "rejection".
But, it after trying any of the three strategies above she
DOES respond positively, you can rest assured that she's
still genuinely intrigued. After all, she had to sacrifice
some dignity there, which cannot be overlooked.
While it's likely no comfort to suddenly realize you truly
did waste lots of time by not calling her sooner--and
indeed almost missed out on her completely--her
willingness to overlook such a misstep on your part only
proves she must have been TRULY attracted from the
start and pretty disappointed that you never called.
Fortunately, that disappointment never morphed into
full-on disgust, or the call would have been a VERY
short one. You dodged a bullet there, big guy.
So the only question left to answer is, "How long
is TOO long to wait here?"
Generally speaking, I'd say if you got the number within
about a week ago it can still be considered "current"
and you can call her as you normally would any other
woman you met recently.
Some actually recommend waiting a week or even ten
days (!) to call a woman anyway, although I personally
think that the longer you wait the less likely she is to
remember meeting you--or which guy you were.
I don't see that as a positive under any circumstances.
Notwithstanding that, I truly believe you can "roll the
dice" and call a woman you haven't ever followed up
with several weeks or even MONTHS after you
originally met her.
Don't worry if you have to refresh her memory a bit if
it's been a particularly long time. That's to be
expected with so much water under the bridge.
Rather than get derailed by that psychologically,
press on realizing that she may just be very glad to
hear from you after she's crystal-clear on who you are.
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