[X&Y] 4 Ways To Tell If She's A High Quality Woman

Published: Thu, 05/16/24

Updated: Thu, 05/16/24


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WHAT'S INSIDE: By now you know all about the "big four" man.
But  what does the "big four" woman look like to us?

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4 WAYS TO TELL IF SHE'S A HIGH QUALITY WOMAN


A while back I was on a coaching call with a guy when an
interesting question came up.

Is there a women's equivalent of the "big four"?

In other words, just like the "big four" traits in a man represent
what high quality women desire most, are there also four distinct
traits in women that really cause the HIGHEST QUALITY examples
of us guys to recognize greatness in them?

The answer was actually relatively easy to come up with.

Not only is that answer a resounding "yes", there's a surprising
twist:  It's actually the SAME LIST...only the female equivalent, of
course.

That's right.  We as human beings, male or female, tend to want
something similar from our relationships with MOTOS (members
of the other sex). 

As such, the "big four" are NOT gender specific, save for the
obvious substitution necessary to ensure proper sexual polarity.

Let me show you exactly what I mean:


 
1)  Confidence


You've heard it said that "confidence is sexy" at least a hundred
times.  And every time you've heard it, there's been no elaboration
as to whether that fact applies to men or to women in particular.

That's because it indeed applies to everyone. 

There's nothing worse than a woman who doesn't believe she's
competent (except, of course, a man who doesn't).

When she second guesses herself or shies away from social
situations it's a turn off.  When she's sheepish around you in
public you wonder not only who she really is under there, but
also what she's going to be like in private (i.e. behind closed
doors).

You betcha.  We as guys love women who know they've "got it"
and carry themselves accordingly.


 
2)  Femininity


Feminine women want a masculine man.  And yes, it's also very
likely that you as a masculine man want a feminine woman.

So it makes perfect sense that the sexual polarity factor is
equally important in the women's version of the "big four" as it is
in the men's version.

Of course you want her to visually appear as if she's 100% woman,
by your very definition of the word.  Beautiful, radiant, even
stunning.

But you also want that joyful energy, that sweet heart and that
supportive spirit. 

Somehow, the qualities that make her potentially a great mother
turn you on, also.  When was the last time you heard an attractive
woman singing a lullaby?  Admit it...you stopped in your tracks as
if the Sirens themselves had begun to join together in chorus.

Hard-edged resolve on her part doesn't cut it.  Neither does
corporate ambition.  All of that's your job.

Likewise, the word "butch" is quite possibly the biggest attraction
killer known to man as far as you're concerned.

Manicures, sundresses and hair that smells great are what do it
for you.  And that's no coincidence...it's nature.


 
3)  Ability To Inspire Confidence


I hear someone already saying, "What is this, McKay, some sort
of joke?  I don't need a woman to make me feel safe and secure."

The heck you don't.

Don't get me wrong; this isn't about a woman acting as your
"protector", per se.  You indeed probably don't need that.

But I'm pretty sure that among your biggest, gnarliest nightmares
when it comes to relationships are that she's going to either
humiliate you in public, shame you by cheating on you, fill your
life with time-wasting "drama", second guess your dreams and/or
fail to stand beside you when the chips are down.

Last I checked, all of those are precisely the type of things
that take a jackhammer to our sense of security.

We as guys don't want to even THINK of our woman ever letting
us down.  And we'd really prefer to avoid any and all gut-
wrenching issues before they ever show up.

Basically, we want to believe in her like she hopefully believes
in us.  We want to TRUST her.

Any other state of affairs leaves us flat-out unfulfilled. 


 
4)  Character


Okay, you've got me here. 

Perhaps an EVEN bigger, gnarlier nightmare is getting involved
in a long-term relationship with a woman only to wake up a few
years (or even months) later with someone completely different
next to you in bed.

Maybe it was a ruse all along, or maybe she changed.

Whatever.

When she switches religions, attitudes or even (...ahem) sex
partners on you; you'll know more than ever how important bringing
a woman of strong, upstanding character into your life really is. 

And that goes double if she can't seem to tell you the truth about
anything or follow through with what she says she's going to do.



There you go.  It's a pretty convincing list after all, isn't it
though?

Truth be told, I definitely still advocate, as always, putting
together your own version of "The Spreadsheet" detailing the top
ten traits of a woman you can't live without.

That list needs to include your own subjective criteria based
solely on personal taste.

But ultimately, just about anything on that list really is going to
fall under one of the "big four".  Go ahead and put your own list
to the test, and let me know what you come up with.
 

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