[X&Y] The Thing About Cheaters Is...

Published: Sat, 05/25/24

Updated: Sat, 05/25/24


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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Let's delve inside the mind of a cheater. Fair
warning: It's not a pretty place.

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THE THING ABOUT CHEATERS IS...
 

Have you ever noticed how people who cheat in a relationship don't
tend to venture too far from home?  

I mean, the "other partner" always seems to be drawn from a very
shallow pool of best friends, sisters, brothers, father-in-laws,
etc...ALL THE TIME. 

You would think that if you're going to cheat, you'd at least get
far enough from the nest that you at might have a fighter's chance
at not getting caught, right? 

And good grief, does anyone ever think about how awkward the family
time at Thanksgiving is going to be when all of the dust clears?
 
Whatever. 
 
For the record, no.  Cheaters don't think about any of this stuff.
There is no thought process there, just the adrenaline rush.
 
Cheaters are virtually by definition non-thinkers.  Concepts like
process and consequence are not generally managed all that well in
these situations.

So then, it's not surprising that cheaters tend to get found out
...and lose. 
 
Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not discounting the concept of
someone wanting out of a dismal relationship so badly that they may
actually WANT to get caught cheating, just so the burden of ending
the relationship is on the other person.

I'm sure that enters into it often, actually.
 
Heavy stuff.  Or should I say, PATHETIC stuff.
 
Obviously I ruminate upon this sort of thing a good bit.  I should.
After all, it's my job to. 

But still, when it comes to cheating what goes around tends to
come around.
 
Why?
 
Well, it's simple.  We as human beings have a pattern.  Whether we
like it or not, we are PREDICTABLE.  At the very fiber of our
being, what makes up our moral core is going to dominate.
 
Yeah, and if you choose to cheat, you are going to live the life of
a cheater.
 
Somebody reading this just said, "Duh."
 
I couldn't agree more.  "Duh." 

So what is up with all the cheating?  There are clear consequences
to living that lifestyle, and they basically involve getting what
you deserve:  infidelity. 

Essentially, if you build a relationship upon the premise of
cheating, how can you possibly expect anything in the future
but...more cheating? 

It has been said that after the first time cheating happens, it is
forever easier thereafter to repeat the offense.  I think there is
decidedly some truth to that concept. 

Once conscience is breached, the proverbial Pandora's Box is
opened.
 
Suppose for a brief second that you are feeling bored / sick /
unattracted / flaky toward you committed partner.  You have an
affair with someone who "floats your boat" more buoyantly. 

Yeah, well, both you and your new, apparently exciting friend are
CHEATERS. 

And should you choose to leave your committed partner for your new
friend, you will both still be CHEATERS.
 
The takeaway here is that both YOU and your PARTNER will have
built whatever you build together upon CHEATING.
 
Did you get that?  And guess what?  You'll do it again.
 
Like it or not, cheaters indeed keep cheating.  Yours will be a
relationship built upon dishonesty and lack of integrity.  How do
you expect such a union to last?  Rest assured it won't.
 
Meanwhile, your spurned ex will be out deserving what she wants.  A
faithful partner is a good catch. 
 
Will you be left wallowing in the error of your ways?

Not if you deserve what you want today, and stay true to the partner
you say you love. 

If there are issues, work them out.  If you need to get out more
together, do so.  And if you need to break up an exclusive
relationship, do so before heading on to "greener pastures".  

The proper thing to do is break off one committed relationship
before starting another.  This is the only way around the cheating
issue.

And yes, if you are "separated" consider thoroughly the importance
of waiting until the divorce is final before dating other people. 

You are still married until that happens, and dating under these
circumstances generally raises subtle doubts in the mind of those
you go out with.
 
But for Pete's sake...whatever you do, don't sleep with your
sister-in-law just to make a point, okay?  Believe me when I tell
you it's not going to lead to happiness.
 

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