[X&Y] Dealing With Super Sharp, Quick-Witted Women

Published: Wed, 08/21/24

Updated: Mon, 08/26/24



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WHAT'S INSIDE: You get the nerve to approach
a woman, only to find that she's super sharp with
a laser-like wit. What should you do?

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APPROACH HER, TALK TO HER, AND KEEP
HER INTERESTED


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DEALING WITH SUPER SHARP, QUICK-WITTED WOMEN 


Some of you have asked if I'm really "friends" with the other
dating and relationship guru types that I introduce you to from
time to time in this newsletter, like I say I am.

Well yes, it's all true. I talk to dozens of them all the time
over phone and Zoom and we all get together a few times a year to
share ideas, etc.

A while back I was in Vegas for just such a "mastermind" meeting.

And as it turned out, the ideas started flowing even as I was still in
the check-in line for the Luxor.

Ahead of me were four guys who, as MTV would say, "appeared to be
in their early twenties". They were pretty fired up, and clearly
there for the party. Imagine Hawaiian shirts, flip-flops and beer
logos and you're on the right track.

And ahead of THEM in line was a somewhat attractive woman in
decidedly more "business casual" attire, carrying a computer bag.

One of the four dudes was particularly taken by her, and his other
three buddies started encouraging him to start a conversation.

There was no wimping out of this one, so sure enough...he tapped her
on the shoulder, introduced himself and asked her what she was
doing in Vegas.

The woman wheeled around with a smile, introduced herself and
answered the question. As it turned out, she was a badass sales
manager from New York City there for her company's national sales
conference.

She exuded raw confidence and carried herself with a sense of
personal strength that was nothing short of impressive.

And above all, she was super-quick with exactly the right words at
the right time--and they were almost always wry and witty.

She lived up to the mid-town Manhattan persona in every way. She
had made it there, and could likely make it anywhere.

Our hero had bitten off more than he could chew. From the opening
salvo onward he grew more and more intimidated and had less and
less to say to her.

At one point I had to take a step backward in line because the guy was
literally BACKING OFF from her as the conversation continued.

It was as if she were a jaguar in the wild...beautiful to behold, but
you'd better be ready to run for your life at any second.

It was at that precise moment that I felt the slightest smile cross
my face. She was a dead-ringer for someone I knew in college.
Someone I had fond memories of.

Now, it's not really my style to step in and give unsolicited
advice to guys in situations like these.

But I couldn't help but think how POWERFUL it would be to tell a
woman like her something like that.

"You know, you remind me of someone I know", said with a warm,
confident smile.

And let's face it, it's likely we ALL have indeed known someone
like that. And we were probably digging her, even if she was a
real handful to deal with at times, right?

So what's the magic in saying something like that?

Simply put, it switches the power dynamics of the conversation over
to your favor immediately. Suddenly YOU'RE in control of what's
being talked about.

Amazingly, no matter how "alpha" the chick is, she'll probably allow
that to happen seamlessly, too.

Never mind the honest truth that she probably prefers it that way
and was waiting all the while for you to show some social
leadership.

The more pragmatic factor is that you will have created
irresistible intrigue in her, and she'll be compelled to follow
down that trail.

She'll likely say, "Oh REALLY? What's she like?"

That's when you can say something to the effect of, "Well, I don't
REALLY know you yet, so I can't REALLY tell if you're like her.
But she's..."

Then you'd list the honest positives about the woman you've got in
your mind's eye.

And what the hell...you can casually throw in how much of a
troublemaker she is, too. That should perk up the conversation.

Just in case I need to spell it out, the elegant beauty of this
interaction lies in the fact that you are not paying compliments
directly to the sharp-witted woman you're talking to.

You're talking about SOMEONE ELSE.

This gives the woman the desire to tell you more about
herself...probably validating that she is, in fact, like what you
guessed she'd be like. After all, you just rattled off a list of
POSITIVE traits.

At that point she's selling herself to you, even if in a subtle,
conversational way.

Money.

Importantly, note that your initial announcement that she reminds
you of someone should be UNQUALIFIED.

You're not saying, "Oh...you remind me of someone I'm CRAZY ABOUT",
or "I know someone who's just like you...badass and sexy."

That sort of thing would be both needy AND a bit creepy if you ask
me. Remember, you DON'T actually know much about her yet.

You'd simply let your warm, knowing smile subtly communicate that
your thoughts are positive ones.

Anyway...back in line at the Luxor our hero ended up "bonking" at the
finish line. He was eventually too tongue-tied in awe of this
woman to even ask her for her phone number, let alone suggest that
they go gallivanting around Vegas together after hours.

That's really a shame, because in case you didn't notice he DID
approach her pretty effectively and yes...she DID respond in a
positive manner.

The woman was actually very friendly, just devastatingly sharp,
that's all.

Eventually we all got to the head of the line and were directed to
one of probably two dozen different check-in counters. As fortune
would have it, I ended up right next to the woman who the guys in
front of me had been talking to.

As we both got our room keys, our eyes met. She smiled.

I said, "That guy between us in line...I think you overwhelmed him a
bit, huh?"

"Yeah", she responded, a bit whimsically. "What's up with that?
I'm just a girl, right? He was kind of cute, too. Oh well..."

All I could say was, "Yeah, well...he's pretty young. He'll learn."

She nodded with a warm giggle, before heading off to her hotel room.

Meanwhile, out of the corner of my eye I saw the four guys headed
the other way.

Hopefully, what happened in Vegas will stay in Vegas. After all,
I'm sure that guy who was in front of me in line doesn't want it to
happen again.
 

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