[X&Y] "I Bet You Tell All The Girls That"

Published: Sun, 09/08/24

Updated: Sun, 09/08/24

One of the biggest obstacles to flirting with women for most guys is the stark truth that you're "putting yourself out there".

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IN THIS EDITION:  One of the biggest obstacles to flirting with
women for most guys is the stark truth that you're "putting
yourself out there".

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You don't have to spend even one more day on the sidelines...
which leads us to today's newsletter.



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"I BET YOU TELL ALL THE GIRLS THAT"


When thinking about the topic of this newsletter today, the first
thing I thought of was an old favorite of mine...that now-infamous
interview Hall-Of-Fame quarterback Joe Namath did with Suzy
Kolber during an NFL game back in 2003.

Clearly drunk, or make that "plastered", Broadway Joe had begun
the interview by commenting on New York Jets quarterback Chad
Pennington's performance.

But in response to Ms. Kolber's follow-up question, he busted out
with "I wanna kiss you". Interestingly, Suzy handled the brouhaha
with aplomb, even saying on-air that she took it as a compliment
(which she later officially confirmed).

If you missed out on this one back when it happened (or when I've
mentioned it before around here), here's a refresher, courtesy of
YouTube:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gc65NC44dSk



Shortly after this crazy moment happened before millions on live
television, Namath solemnly apologized for his actions on ESPN.

Of course he did.

Here's the thing, though. The alcohol involved here probably only
served to unleash his inhibitions relative to saying such a thing
on national television, and at a particularly...um...inopportune
moment.

Actually SAYING IT, though, was purely his nature.

Anyone who is familiar with Joe Namath's style knew deep down he
really was just being himself. After all, he has been running this
type of "direct game" with women off-camera for over 40 years.

The guy has been known for having tons of women around since
long before he was ever the hero of Super Bowl III.

So what can you learn from a drunk football legend? And better
yet, what can you learn from a sports reporter's nonchalant
handling of his overt flirtation?

Well, obviously, I'm 100% with you in agreeing there's a whole lot
you can learn NOT to do.

BUT...there's also one very key principle at play there that is a
hidden pearl of wisdom. And that's what I want to key in on.

Simply put, if flirting is built into your personality
as part of your LIFESTYLE, then women know better than to
presume their potential "rejection" wields any real power.

Essentially, if your habit is to banter with women and show
attraction freely, then it's hard for a woman to really know for
sure how meaningful your interest is at first, isn't it?

And this keeps YOU in control of your interactions with women, and
acts as a very real buffer against having to deal with "rejection".

But most guys have made flirting an exceptional behavior rather
than a lifestyle habit, and therefore they drain themselves of
masculine leadership power every time they interact with a woman.

Let me explain how this works against us and why it matters.

If you, like most guys, tiptoe through life worried about
"offending" women by showing any interest in them, then you are
essentially setting yourself up to be a walking self-fulfilling
prophecy.

That is to say, if it's unusual for you to ever show interest in a
woman, whenever you actually do so it will come off as a rather
serious deal...for both you AND the woman.

You will have had to gather yourself, and your words, and pull it
all together for the "big moment".

What does this do? Naturally, it puts the woman in total control
of the situation, and you literally at her mercy.

She may be thinking, "Oh wow...this guy REALLY likes me. I've got
to come up with a serious response here."

And indeed, that's where you will have led in this scenario.
You're left hanging, waiting to see how she reacts to you.

Granted, she might give you a favorable response--or she may not.
But the fact remains the same: Most guys treat flirting as dead
serious stuff, and this puts women in the "hot seat" every time.

Ironically, she's in charge, and that's NOT where she wants to be
in these situations.

Contrast such a scenario with Broadway Joe's example above.
Even in the context of a major television blunder in the making,
you could sort of tell by Suzy Kolber's reaction that she was giving
him a "free pass" of sorts.

Granted, she's a pro when it comes to broadcasting, so she can
think pretty quickly on her feet.

But as the conversation was happening, you could almost FEEL
her imagining the phrase, "Yeah, sure Joe. I bet you tell ALL THE
GIRLS that." And my guess is about 75% of the viewing audience
was thinking the exact same thing.

And rightly so. Because indeed he DOES "tell all the girls that".

Now I'm NOT going to tell you to "go and do like Joe Namath"
insofar as getting drunk and saying things on TV that require
apologies later. And I'm not even going to suggest such "direct
game" as walking up to random women and telling them you want
to kiss them, necessarily.

In fact, for real-world purposes think of "Lifestyle Flirting" more
in terms of fun, playful banter.

But what I AM going to do is ask you to consider the amazing
message conveyed when a woman utters the magic phrase: "I
bet you tell ALL THE GIRLS that".

Do you think for a second Namath gives a rat's behind whether
or not Suzy Kolber kisses him or not? Do you think he has already
made her his girlfriend in his mind? Married her? Made babies
with her?

That series of rapid-fire questions got more ridiculous as it
progressed, huh?

Simply put, if you can become a man who is comfortable with
flirting as a lifestyle, then rejection is off the table.

Instead of giving away unconditional power to women, your
casual--even non-selective-attitude toward interacting with
MOTOS (members of the other sex) puts YOU back in control.

As such, women are left at a mysterious loss as to whether you
really would "select" her if given the chance or not. 

You are seen as a guy who appreciates ALL great women,
therefore you exhibit zero desperation or fear of loss.

When you can view flirting, or even interaction with women of
ANY sort, in such a light it changes everything. 

Instead of singling out women for flirting, if you can free
yourself up to playfully banter with most women wherever you
go you'll sort of hit a "critical mass" before you know it.

And it's wild when you start seeing the effects of this "Lifestyle
Flirting" manifest themselves. 

Instead of women feeling singled out when you flirt with them,
they'll feel left out when you do not.

That's right...the women you flirt with will no longer be on the
"hot seat". Instead, the women you DON'T flirt with will want in.

Again, a caveat: We're not necessarily talking about quite as
overt an approach as Broadway Joe's example. All you do
here is simply begin conversations and interact in a fun way. 

And I'm not an unreasonable guy. I can't expect you to "flip a
switch" and make this lifestyle change overnight.

But I am going to challenge you to stretch beyond your comfort
zone the next time you are in a social situation where you have
the ability to meet new women, and feel free to interact with any
or even all of them--now realizing that the MORE women you
enjoy interacting, the LESS you telegraph "pre-qualification" to
any one of them.

Try it...and be amazed.
 

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