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INCLUDED BELOW: Doesn't giving a woman
compliments make a guy look like a "chaser"? Not
necessarily.

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YES, YOU CAN AND SHOULD GIVE HER A COMPLIMENT


OK, let's say you've either just met a woman or are meeting
with her 1-on-1 for the first time.

Either way, let's assume you are already impressed. 

You're thinking if you ever have the good fortune to see this
woman naked you will have hit the jackpot.

So NOW WHAT?

More specifically, how do you conduct yourself?  What
should you say to her?

You know that if you talk about weather and politics you'll
come off as neuter and FAIL to create attraction.

So you have to show her you're interested in being MORE
than "just a friend".

But the problem is you've been told somewhere along the
line that the following are the effective tactics for that:



  1)  Make sure you knock her off her pedestal some by
       acting as if you're unimpressed.


  2)  Feign indifference toward her so she'll chase YOU
       instead of vice-versa.



And, of course, perhaps the most infamous strategy (or
is that "stragedy"?) of all...



  3)  NEVER give a woman a compliment...ever.



Now listen. I fully understand the thought process behind
each of those three ideas.

Sadly, most guys who are newbies when it comes to
interacting with women tend to come off like desperate,
starving puppies when confronted with a real, live
opportunity to attract a hottie.

Such guys might start gushing about how beautiful the
woman is to them, sort of like Enos always did to "Miss
Daisy" in The Dukes Of Hazzard.

I'm sure you've seen the comments dudes post below
bikini pics posted by Instagram models.

And it's like we should change the name of Facebook
to Facepalm, huh?

Or what's arguably worse, some guys even start bragging
about anything and everything possible in a feeble
attempt to impress her.

So sure...each of the three strategies above are about
putting an end to these basic destructive tendencies.

But at best, they're nothing more than stop gap
measures for guys who aren't quite "big four" men yet. 

So then, if and when any or all of them become habit,
you'll soon find the proverbial pendulum has swung the
opposite way...and that's not good.

Here's what I mean.

Regarding #1 for example, what if she isn't exactly so
"full of herself" and doesn't have the world's most rock-
solid self-esteem? 

She could take what you say seriously, no matter how
playful you are about saying it...and that would be
counter-productive.

No kidding...MOST women aren't exactly paragons of
self-esteem, no matter how beautiful or generally sharp
they are.

As for the second one, remember a woman is a human
being just like you. (Really...I promise.)  Knowing that,
how do YOU usually read someone who acts utterly
disinterested in you?

Thought so.

And the third one? Ask yourself if that's what you
REALLY want out of the interaction. 

Are you the kind of man who honesty prefers to NEVER
say something positive to a woman that might actually
LIFT her less-than-perfect (read: normal and human)
self-esteem?

Again, as a human being how excited would YOU be
to hang out with a woman who NEVER acknowledged
you looked good, were talented, or basically ever did
anything right?

You and I both know that we as guys tend to build
TONS of disdain for and even full-on resentment
toward women who are like that.

And it's equally safe to say no woman is ever going to
confuse a guy who offers ZERO approval of her for
anyone who has her best interests at heart.  

You really can't instill a sense of safety and security
in her that way, can you?

So simply put, as you get better with women--as I
trust you will--you're going to want more effective
ways to proceed. 

Slapping a Band-Aid on the problem won't cut it.

Now, as you've observed guys who appear to be doing
well with women, I'm sure you've noticed something
that might strike you as somewhat odd.

Yes, they actually give women compliments.

There's no denying it.

But here's the amazing part.  Contrary to what all the
newbie guides you've read suggest, they actually get
somewhere with women by doing so.

In fact, some guys can give women all sorts of
complimentary indicators of approval and still charm
her to no end.

But wait, isn't that sort of "nice" stuff supposed to fail
miserably?

Not so fast.

The problem "Mr. Nice Guy" has is he's only on his
best behavior because he's either TRYING to impress
her or he's worried about offending her and LOSING
her.

Meanwhile, those guys you've seen out there who
know what they're doing are telling a woman what
they TRULY think about her for COMPLETELY
different reasons.

Usually, one such reason is that they are CONFIDENT
any woman in her right mind should find them
inherently attractive. 

Therefore, there's no need to impress a woman.

Compliments and other clear demonstrations of
interest are honest and sort of matter-of-fact, actually.

But there's another reason why giving women
compliments works FOR these guys instead of
AGAINST them.

Usually, guys who are effective with women give
approval to them when they've expressly EARNED
it.

There's no halo effect when they interact with ANY
woman, even the "tens".

There's no pre-approval of her as some sort of
goddess or something.

Guys who are good at this stuff wait until they hear
about how she donates her time to the homeless
before telling her they're "proud of her".

Similarly, they wait until she has done her hair up
in a special way just to go out on a date with him,
and THEN they tell her how beautiful her hair looks.

Can you detect the very clear difference between
what's going on there and the "Starving Chihuahua
Syndrome"?

To spell it out, the difference between needy,
desperate compliments (or any needy, desperate
attention, really) and the kind of attention women
LIKE is very clear-cut.

Needy, desperate guys give women approval
based on FEAR OF LOSS. 

What they are actually seeking is HER approval of
them. They are GIVING in order to GET.

This comes off as extraordinarily weak...which is
not exactly becoming of a masculine man who is
both a provider and a protector, right?

Meanwhile, where there is NO fear of loss,
compliments come off as more heartfelt and
genuine. 

Because a man who is NOT desperate or needy is
a chooser instead of a chaser, the woman tends to
actually feel PRIVILEGED to hear a compliment
from him. It means something to her.

Once again, let's talk in "human" terms rather than
"man vs. woman". 

What kind of approval means more to you?  The
kind that's thrown at you out of desperation (which
may even come off as manipulation, if you think
about it), or the kind that is genuinely EARNED from
someone who means it?

Thought so.

If a woman is beautiful and talented, she wants to
hear it from you...but only after she knows you have
a truly informed frame of reference. 

And by the way, since women follow your lead, it's
especially crucial not to turn the newbie strategy of
"never giving a woman compliments" into a lifetime
habit. 

Can you see why? That would be one miserable life
together indeed.


Be Good,

Scot McKay


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