[X&Y] Rules For Thee, But Not For Me

Published: Thu, 11/07/24

Updated: Fri, 11/08/24



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IN THIS EDITION: Steve in Alaska wrote in with a couple of "psycho
chick" horror stories from his recent past.

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READER QUESTIONS AND COMMENTS


  Hey bro,

  How is everything?  I hope well.  I'm finally back in the US after
  about a year and a half. I'm in Alaska freezing my butt off now!

  One girl I was dating in the Ukraine really pissed me off, and I am
  thinking of breaking everything off with her because of that, and I
  told her that, too.  She went to my V Kontakte page (Russia's
  Facebook) and saw all my friends there (only 16) are girls. 

  She actually contacted one of them and started asking this other
  girl questions about me! 

  Well, the other girl told some lies about me to the one I was
  dating and made it sound like I was just a womanizing Casanova
  in the Ukraine. 

  Well, whatever transpired between them is not the point, but the
  point is invading my privacy and then also believing the words of
  someone who she doesn't know from Adam! 

  I told the girl I was seeing, 'How would you like it if I went to
  your Facebook or Kontakte page and started asking your friends
  about you?!  You would never want to see me again or even talk to
  me because you would think I invaded your privacy, and also that
  I'm very insecure!  And on top of that, you believe what a total
  stranger told you!  Did it ever occur to you that maybe this other
  girl likes me and she told you those things about me to keep you
  away from me?!'

  Anyway, after telling her all that, she's 'Real sorry!' and I was
  right in what I told her. 

  But the thing is, so many girls in that part of the world have a
  double standard; they can do what they want to, and a man better
  not dare say anything about it. 

  But let me do that, and I'm in real trouble with her! 

  My first girlfriend in the Ukraine many years ago actually let her
  guy friend come to her house to visit her once in a while.

  But when a female friend would come visit me, or even call me?  I
  was in trouble with her!  Sure pisses me off!

  Just two examples of psychos I had to deal with in my life...


  Later man,

  Steve



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Hello Steve.  Thanks for writing.

Are the women you mentioned legitimately crazy?  That's up for
discussion, as there seems to be some immaturity and/or raw
character issues at play there, actually.

But be that as it may, there are two secondary ideas that jumped
out of your message and whacked me in the head.

The first is an object lesson in the pitfalls of managing a
Facebook account when multiple women from your past AND the
women you're currently dating are all on there.  Note the mayhem
that can ensue when and if they decide to contact each other.

My take is that any mature human being you're dating would know
better than to open a can of worms by contacting anyone else who
is female on your "friends" list.  But one just cannot assume
maturity, right?

But that said, also look at how naïve some people can be in terms
of blindly accepting the words of a stranger with regard to someone
they know well.  Fascinating, isn't it?

This bears witness to the simple truth that people tend to
actively seek support for whatever beliefs they have.

In other words, if a woman is looking to find out you're a cheater,
she'll tend to latch on to whatever she digs up that supports what
she's hoping is true.

This is how good reputations are ruined mercilessly.  Tragically,
it's also how good people are led astray by master manipulators.

The other lesson to be learned here might be a poignant one
for anyone who has been led to believe that all women from
one's own country (e.g. The United States or the UK) are "bad"
and women from other, more exotic countries are "good".

One of the countries that most often comes up in that context is
indeed Ukraine, of course.

The bottom line is there are potential issues with women in
EVERY country, as you have offered clear evidence of.  And yes,
there are also wonderful women right there in your hometown.

Even in Alaska.

I'm not saying you fit the persona, but for the sake of other guys
reading, if we make excuses trying to put "all women" in our
particular country in some sort of box, we may need only to look
in the mirror to find where the solution to that dilemma is likely
to come from.

That can be hard to face up to.
 

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