[X&Y] Why Most Men Disappoint Women (And It's Probably Not What You Think)

Published: Sat, 11/09/24

Updated: Sat, 11/09/24



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IN THIS EDITION: It's the strangest irony in
the world when it comes to attraction. Get
this one turned right-side-up and you'll be
WAY ahead...

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WHY MOST MEN DISAPPOINT WOMEN (AND WHAT TO DO
ABOUT IT)


More so than ever before, I'm convinced that thinking of women
as "enigmatic" or "unfathomable" is precisely what's killing our
chances for success with them the most.

And check it out...the issue is decidedly not gender-specific.

Women apparently have no idea what's going on inside our heads
either.  I'm pretty sure most of them have been taught that we're
utterly impossible to comprehend.

But the raw truth is men and women really are more alike than
different.

If we'd just see the forest for the trees, we'd become much better
at relating to women.  It would happen practically overnight.

For example, were I to hand you and some random woman a
matching set of winning lotto tickets, you'd both probably feel the
same emotions.

But if her dog and your dog both ran away (together?), the two of
you would be bummed.

In terms of how we feel and even how we think, differences between
us aren't really gender-specific.

Personality tests like the Myers-Briggs and so forth don't generally
have pink and blue versions, do they?  

Really, the only place where real differences arise is when we
specifically deal with what's feminine vs. what's masculine.

Too bad that post-modern society is so busy trying to "blur the lines"
in that area.  That's led to the expectation that we as genderless
(read: "neuter") creatures can still somehow sexually attract each
other. 

Welcome to why men have lost a sense of how sexually attractive
masculine leadership is. 

The irony?  That's exactly what women tend to want--a man who
takes the lead.

And what about women and their dating issues?

What if I told you that a massive percentage of e-mails we receive
from the women on Emily's list talk about problems closely centered
on a common thread of their own:  They have trouble resisting a
man's bad leadership.

So, to summarize, on one hand what we've got going on here is
"failure to deploy" by many men out there.  

They defer to women, supplicate to them and walk on eggshells lest
they offend them by having any autonomous will of their own.

And in trying to "follow" women, they forfeit what is arguably
their strongest means of creating magnetic attraction:  masculine
leadership.

Meanwhile, there are other guys out there who try to lead, but who
end up taking their women on one wild goose chase after another.

The crazy part?

Like I alluded to, women still try to follow the man's lead even
when it's ill-advised to do so.  

In it's more innocuous form, we're talking two or three years of
dating with nothing at all going on.  Night after night spent in a
"rut" of Netflix and chill.

Yet women stand by their man...wondering aloud why they're
doing so.

But to demonstrate how deep this rabbit hole goes, I once went on
a first date with a woman who used to "keep her [ex-]husband
company" when he drove back and forth from Mexico to New York
City trafficking guns and cocaine.

Why?  Because he asked her to.

Gentlemen, regardless of what the media has led you to believe,
I urge you to view leadership as mission-critical to successfully
attracting women.

Importantly, that leadership must not only be bold and strong, it
has to be in a woman's best interest.

Get that right and you'll solve both your biggest dating dilemma
AND hers.

That's because as a man you really are the CHOOSER.  When you
CHASE, you disappoint.

The fact that plenty of women out there are even willing to follow
blatantly BAD leadership should speak volumes.

I have a deeper theory as to why this trend is perpetuated, despite
the predictably disastrous results.

I believe most of us as guys spend a lot of time in our own heads,
trying to reach out to women in order to get our wants and needs
met.

Isn't that what most "me first" dating advice is all about these days?

But it's the guy who does the exact opposite who compels women
as a strong relationship manager.

He's the one who is reaching inside to make the changes necessary
to deserve what he wants, even as he seeks to learn how to meet a
woman's true needs by being the masculine, confident, confidence
inspiring man of character that women truly crave.

Perhaps the ultimate irony of all is that not too long ago none of
this was all that ironic.  Men were men, and women were women.  


 
 



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