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WHAT'S INSIDE: Some of us as men are our own worst
enemy.

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IT'S TRUE...WOMEN WANT TO BE GOOD TO YOU


This gets right to the heart of what today's newsletter is all
about.

Did you know that most women actually adore us as men and
want to do amazing things for us?

It just makes them feel more like women to spread joy, comfort
and happiness.

Perhaps you're responding to that thought with skepticism.

Maybe you're even one of the "men going their own way".

If so, do I ever have news for you.

Let's say you haven't really seen things play out like I've just
described in your own life.  Maybe women just aren't all that
sweet and friendly as you see it.

Well, the plain truth is YOU hold the keys to turning this ship
around...unlocking unlimited favor from women.

Yes, it's YOU who decides whether to open women's hearts and
minds to practically boundless generosity...or lock them down
and cause them to hold back, if not ignore you completely.

Think about it.  That's REALLY heavy, isn't it?

If you've found yourself jaded against women because of what's
happened in the past, ask yourself this:

How much better would life be if women really WERE angels
who brought you pure joy and limitless pleasure?

Can you even believe that's possible?

Well, it is.  Here's the step-by-step plan for transforming how
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Even my own wife Emily has looked in awe as I've emerged from
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In the past, she has asked me straight-up, "How did you DO that?"

My answer has been the same each time.  "Female persuasion."

To that, Emily would just shrug and smile.  After all, it's for the
same reasons she adores me and is always good to me.

What if every woman YOU met turned into a blushing, giggling
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What if they found themselves irresistibly drawn to you as if
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6 REASONS WHY YOU'RE STILL SINGLE
 

It's about time I addressed a pattern I've seen among guys who
habitually struggle with women.  And I have to warn you up front;
this just might come off as "tough love" to you.

To set the stage, here's an example of the kind of e-mail I get more
than my fair share of:


  "Hey Scot:

  Look man, nice effort and all...but NONE of what you're telling me
  EVER works. I'm STILL having trouble finding a girlfriend.

  Signed,

  Dateless in Denver"


Some messages I get have more desperate wording than that, while
others are decidedly angrier, even at times going so far to insult me
personally.

Curiously, as often as I get that kind of e-mail, I get about three or
four times as many from guys telling me they've transformed their
fortunes with women and/or have found their dream woman...all
based on what I and perhaps a few other dating advice types have
shared with them.  Go figure...

Now, if you've self-identified as hanging out in the camp where
"nothing ever works", I want you to stop and think for a second.
That last paragraph most likely caused a knee-jerk response in
defense of your current position.

Nonetheless, having your best interests at heart, I'm going to lay
it on the line right here, right now.

Here it is:  I know why you're still single.

That's right.  Go ahead and get good and mad at me for the moment.
That's actually good for you, considering what's coming next.

Boil it all down and you don't have a girlfriend yet for one of
a half-dozen possible reasons.

But before we dive into any of these "sticky wickets", know
this: NONE of them are out of your personal control.

Also know that NONE are gender-specific.

Nevertheless, because this is a newsletter that's primarily written
to men, I'm going to address what I'm saying to you in particular:



1)  Ignorant Arrogance


Basically, the concept behind this first point is that of having
a firmly held belief in one's own allegedly superior knowledge,
complete with disdain for the "stupidity" of others who don't
agree with one's position.

Yet, what is believed so strongly with unwavering conviction is
DEAD WRONG. 

It's bass-ackwards, and blatantly so to most everyone else.

The only thing worse than someone who thinks he or she is right and
everyone else is wrong is someone like that who's more often wrong
than right.

If that describes you, don't expect anyone (other than me, of
course) to ever tell you.  They already know it won't be worth the
effort, frustration and potential vitriol they'll get from you in
return for bringing it to your attention.

Oh...and don't expect any women to be wildly attracted to you,
either.

I once knew a flight attendant for Southwest Airlines who had found
herself out on a first date with a guy who firmly believed that SWA
flew Airbus A320s.

They don't, of course.  It's all Boeing 737s all the time.

But even though she worked on the very aircraft type in question,
he stuck to his guns.

A mere five minutes into the date, he and his "guns" were left
alone together.  She got up and left, and I don't blame her a bit.

Bear this in mind:  If we're ever WRONG about something, we
couldn't possibly have ever been CERTAIN of it.

EXTRA CREDIT:  Google "The Dunning-Kruger Effect"



2)  Assuming You're The Hopeless Exception


This one is really easy to describe.

What we're talking about here is holding onto a limiting belief with a
death grip. 

So much so that even vis-à-vis overwhelming evidence that tons of
people with the exact same "issue" are achieving wild success with
women, you still think your situation is "hopeless".

In other words, you believe that even if someone else just like you
can get women, you still won't.  Success in any way, shape or form
is something only other guys get to experience.

In related news, you're also not the only one affected by the current
global COVID-19 pandemic.  We're all in the same boat.



3)  Embracing The Illness


This one is flat-out shocking, but I've come to the conclusion over
the past few years in particular that what I'm about to share with you
is very real.

It would seem that some who are suffering from an illness--physical,
mental, emotional or otherwise--actually have come to LIKE things as
they are.

I've overheard my fair share of diabetics droning on and on about
their diabetes and seen people who could walk perfectly well if
they cared enough to riding around on those "Rascal" scooters.

I'm not being insensitive here.  I've got the hard evidence to back
up what I've observed time and again.

It's as if the sickness itself has become a rallying point of
identity.  It brings extra amounts of attention from other people,
even as it serves as a way to "stand out from the crowd" in a way.

What I'll call "Dateless Disorder" is no different. 

Think about it.  I really do believe that if some people finally
found a significant other for once their entire self-image would be
shaken to the core...and the thought of that is just too much to
take.



4)  Assuming What Makes Sense Is What Must Work


If one has always assumed something to be true, then it's
understandably difficult--no, make that almost impossible--to
accept anything and everything counter-intuitive to that
assumption.

I'll tell you, a lot of dating advice out there really does prey
upon guys who have so little experience with women that they
legitimately have no idea just yet what could theoretically
increase their real-world effectiveness with them.

So what do they do?  They believe in what makes sense to them.

In other words, they continue to think like men, even when
considering women.

They might also draw conclusions based on what they can
physically see.

Or worse, they gravitate towards the solution that sounds easiest
to implement.

My favorite example of how this whole line of thinking can burn you
is the idea of getting women to "chase you first" and how wildly
popular it is.

Undoubtedly, that concept represents a classic example of the
ever-elusive "easy button" promise. 

But if we are too chicken to approach women, what's the logic in
expecting them to have all the guts we lack?  Isn't courage a
masculine thing?

Moreover, a clear understanding of woman demonstrates that they
love a man who leads.  Even if they do "approach first", they have
less respect for the man they've made the first move toward.

Another quick example is the one I've touched upon before--
believing that strippers and other women whose sexuality is "out
there" publicly are the only ones capable of being amazing in the
bedroom.

Very, very often it's the new, fresh thought process requiring a
total mind shift that really will break the old, tired habit of
failing with women.

A major key to overcoming this factor is not letting cognitive
dissonance get the best of you.  You've GOT to keep an open
mind.



5)  Blaming Women


Oh man, what a killer this one is.

Essentially, what we're talking about here is blaming MOTOS
(members of the other sex) for ALL of your dating woes.

If you've ever found yourself saying "all women are ______",
then I'm about to mess your head up with some truth.

"All" women (like "all" men) cannot be classified under one
heading in virtually ANY area, except perhaps genetics.

Regardless of gender, we're all unique individuals so there are
no constants, only infinite variables".

If you've got a consistent pattern going where MOTOS aren't
bringing you pleasure, it's time to look in the mirror.

Sometimes it really is that simple.



6)  Skimming The Headlines


As I often do, I've saved the craziest example for last.

Here's the deal.  I really do think many, many guys out there would
love for all the dating advice they see out there to work.  I think
their hearts are in the right place, etc., etc.

It's just that they're either too lazy or too cynical to ever get to the
meat and potatoes.  They really only skim the menu instead--often
with disastrous and contrary consequences.

As a case in point, you wouldn't believe what tends to happen any
time I write a newsletter with a potentially controversial question
as the subject line.

For example, I sent you one a couple of days ago titled, "Are Women
The Enemy?" only to have a handful of women lambaste me in e-mail
form over the fact that I would support such a notion. 

But had they actually read my newsletter itself they'd have seen
clearly by the end of the second paragraph that my answer to the
question was actually a resounding "no".

I've come to realize that this phenomenon even applies at times to
some of the bullet points on my websites describing programs like
The Difference and The Leading Man.

One guy wrote me because he thought his dire situation with women
was caused by his having one blue eye and one green eye. 

Knowing that tons of women would actually find that unique and
fascinating, I couldn't help but probe a bit further.

As it turned out, he'd seen the title of Rob Brinded's contribution
to The Difference on "Physical Symmetry" and drawn his own
conclusion about what was covered in the video. 

That video actually talks about posture and gait, of course.  

I heard from another guy who saw the title "One Keystroke That
Kills" in the section of The Difference on online dating. 

He concluded that if it only takes ONE keystroke to ruin a first
e-mail to a woman, then his e-mails--which contain far more than one
keystroke--must be utterly destroying his chances.

But that audio is actually about overusing one specific key, not
at all about the number of keystrokes one uses when writing to
women.

Guys, you've got to make sure you really get the big picture about
what knowledge is truly out there for you before dismissing it at the
wholesale level.  Sometimes that takes due diligence.



Okay, let's be honest.  Way back at the beginning of this
discussion, was that "knee-jerk" defensive reaction in your mind in
line with one or more of the six concepts above?

If you can pick out which it was, you're already on your way to
putting an abrupt end to it. 

If you train your mind to detect whenever you start to fall into
the trap, you'll start to stop what's holding you back from now on
before it can really eat at you.

From there, you'll open the door wide to improving with women, and
in dramatic fashion.

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