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IN THIS EDITION:  What is many a woman's favorite complaint about
men, it seems?  That would be, "Why won't he listen to me?" .

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LIFE IS BETTER WHEN WOMEN LOVE YOU


Yesterday I invited you to a world where virtually all women ADORE
you.

And yes, some of you are still resisting that such a possibility even
exists.

Well, first off know this.  I respect what you may have been through.

Some women will use us, spend our money, cheat on us and then
blame us for all of it...getting away with everything all the while, even
as we're somehow left feeling like the "bad guy".

I understand that happens. I'm not so insulated from having lived
through some hardcore experiences myself.

But let me tell you.  You have control over how women treat you
from this day forward.

And you also have control over the kind of women you attract.

Will it be the high quality ones who bring you joy or the ones who
aren't worthy of a generous man of character such as yourself?

Will the kind of women you actually want LOVE you?  Or will they
(at best) IGNORE you?

Will the RIGHT women be irresistibly turned on by you, or will you
let the WRONG ones walk all over you...again?

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WHY WOMEN WANT YOU TO "LISTEN" TO THEM


  "Why won't men ever LISTEN?"


  "Did he even HEAR what I just said?"


  "All I really want is a man who UNDERSTANDS what I'm saying."


Unless you've been mercilessly trapped in a boarding school for
boys for twelve years (don't laugh), you've probably heard all
three of those phrases before. 

Maybe a woman expressed these ideas to you.

Or perhaps you looked on as someone you knew, possibly even your
Dad, endured similar rants.

At the very least, you've heard such lines used on TV and in the
movies.

No matter what, it's NO secret that if you want to understand how
women think and what motivates them, you've got to understand the
importance of being a man who LISTENS to them.

Now look, your first thoughts when confronted with this issue are
probably identical to mine, and indeed those of most normal red-
blooded guys.

Right off the bat, you've probably got one or both of two different
objections swirling in your brain. 

The first one would be, "Hey, wait a minute.  What about equal time?
If she wants me to listen to her, I'm going need to be heard also."

OK, duly noted.

The second thought you may have is, "What, are you kidding?  Women
are ALWAYS 'sharing' about something.  I mean, generally speaking
they're GENERALLY SPEAKING."

And let me guess...when it's time for you to say what's on your
mind, you may think she's not listening either.  So why should you
bother?  Is this a "CONversation" or just a "ONEversation"?

A third thought that may have crossed your mind is that your very
manhood is in jeopardy.  "What, does she expect me to 'listen' so
that she can order me around and tell me what to do?"

That last idea might be the most offensive one of all, and probably
the number one reason why we as men tend NOT to care much about
"listening" to women.

Well, here's the deal:  all three of those points are, well...beside the
point.

Face it.  You don't require "equal time".  You probably don't need
to talk THAT much, do you?

I've got news for you.  And rest assured it's good news.

When a woman talks about how much she values a man who listens,
I'm almost certain she isn't referring to a desire for a guy who smiles
and nods "yes, dear" at her while she runs her mouth.

And yes, I firmly believe that even women themselves realize they'd
have no respect for any man they can order around.

Let's put it this way.  If she IS expecting you to fold up and be a
weakling, it's HER problem.  It's a preposterous one-sided
expectation, and both an unreasonable and destructive one at that. 

Let's face it.  If some guy WERE to sit there and allow himself
to get steamrolled like that on a regular basis, do you think that
same woman is going to stay attracted for long?

Not on your life.  Not in this universe.

Nah, man.  We're talking, as always, about high quality women
around here.  And yet, they too tend to want a man who listens.

And that can only mean that there has to be some reasonable
explanation for why they want our undivided attention when they
have something important to say.

And furthermore, there has to be some depth to why they feel this
way.

Well, here it is.  I believe there are two very, very real forces
that guide a woman's extreme value on "listening".   Here they are:



1)  Connection


Women weren't born yesterday.  They know when your interest in them
is purely physical. 

And as we've discussed time and again, when you approach them in
that regard it makes them about as excited about you as you would
be about hanging out with a woman who only saw you as a walking
bank account. 

And no doubt, some of us as guys lack self respect enough to behave
like broken vending machines anyway.  If she kicks such a guy hard
enough he'll cough up some goodies for free.

And sure, some women lack self respect also.

But that's not how it's supposed to be.  You are aiming HIGHER than
that, and so are the women you want most to deserve.

So when a woman is watchful for a man who LISTENS, what she desires
at the deeper level is CONNECTION.

In other words, she's wondering, "Will this man VALUE me for more
than what's on the surface?"

She knows you SEE her.  She knows you're all about TOUCHING her. 

In fact, the ONLY one of your five senses she CAN'T be sure you're
totally into based on physical attraction alone is--you guessed
it--LISTENING to her.

Let that one sink in for a second.

When stated like that, it would appear women really have a lot
figured out here, even if they can't exactly always spell it out
for you as I just have.

But make no mistake, if you value what she expresses you'll going
to go a long way with a high quality woman.

If you show positive concern for what's on her mind, you're her new
hero.  If you can empathize when she's had a rough day, it means
you're listening.

Remember always, compassion is a masculine trait.  It's not for
"softies". 

If you've been led to believe that "men are the war mongers" or
"fighters", then the next time you hear that you can come back with
the simple fact that it's MEN who generally bring peace to END wars
also.

Compassion stands alone, as does every virtue.  Vices are dependent
upon the virtues they pervert for their very existence. 

For example, what if "hate" stood alone?  We would cease to exist.
"Hate" cannot exist apart from the "love" it seeks to destroy.

Compassion takes raw courage and masculine strength.  When you
succeed at connection with a woman, you have actually DE-feminized
yourself and in a very real way set your masculinity into action. 

I realize what I'm saying here flies in the face of every PUA
teaching you've ever read. 

But don't touch that dial just yet.  Test me here. 

Put what I've just shared to good use the next time you meet a
woman you are genuinely attracted to.  Then report back on whether
she was MORE or LESS sexually attracted to you after you showed
positive concern and empathy.

I'm telling you, guys.  If you want a shortcut, what I just gave
you is about as close as it comes.

That said, I understand this may require a bit more elaboration.
So pay very close attention for a second.

Nobody is telling you to agree with everything she says or to
capitulate to every demand or desire.

And nobody is telling you to put your own needs aside forever.

Ironically enough, one of the ways she can really tell if you're
listening is if you quit nodding like a bobble-head doll and
respond honestly with what you have to say...even if you disagree.

In fact, that's a major key to the second reason why women value a
man who "listens":



2)  Security


Come on, now.  You already know it always comes down to this.

A woman desires a man who will make her feel safe and secure in his
presence.  Further, she wants a man who LEADS.

If she doesn't feel secure, she's not at ease with you.  And that
means you're getting nowhere with her...fast.

If she cannot trust you, she isn't going to be interested in the
plan you have for your evening together, let alone a LIFE together.

And guess what, that part I alluded to about her being MORE secure
with you if you disagree sometimes?  It's a fact. 

If you're amenable to everything she says, she can't trust you've
got a backbone enough to stand up to anything, if not even her.

Besides, people who are 100% agreeable usually have a hidden
agenda, don't they? 

So them, you'd be back at square one were you to play the "nice
guy" when it comes to listening.  Her trust level would be at ZERO

But usually guys blow it here by NOT listening to a woman AT ALL.

They just make assumptions, plan big expensive lobster dinners to
"impress" her, and get "all mad" when she announces at the table
that she's violently allergic to seafood.

But if you take the time to listen to what's on her mind, the
outcome tends to be very different.

Sure, women often say, "Did you even HEAR me?" after something has
gone in one ear and out the other.  But what she really means is
"You weren't listening...and now I don't know where I stand with
you."

Essentially, the question in her mind is, "How can this guy man up
and protect me if he doesn't even know what my fears are?  How can
he lead if he doesn't even understand me?"

"Hearing" is a biological thing.  "Listening" is a more about the
mind.

When you first meet a woman, she will almost always tell you what
you need to HEAR.  If you LISTEN to it, you'll make mental notes
that will enable you to LEAD like a champion.

If you listen during that first phone call together, she'll tell
you what is important to her, what brings her joy and maybe even
what she ISN'T fond of.

During those phone calls most guys hear a noise that sounds like
Charlie Brown's teacher talking. 

Similarly, most guys will screw up the ensuing first date as a
direct result of not listening.

From now on, you won't be like "most guys".

Instead, you'll custom-craft an unforgettable time together that
probably even costs you next to zero money. 

And she'll say, "It's like you read my mind.  This is perfect.
You're AMAZING."

Be honest with me, now.  That wouldn't suck. 

Ultimately, when she knows you listen, she learns to trust you.
She trusts your plans, your judgment calls, your power to protect
her and ultimately your leadership.

And that's what equals "security" in her mind.  You listened.
You have it handled.  And she's in the presence of a MAN.

Do you think that's NOT going to be attractive to her? 



Gentlemen, the next time you hear a woman who is frustrated over
men not listening to her, try this...LISTEN.

And then once you know what's up, make educated decisions
accordingly.  

This is not about "kissing up".  This is not about "obeying" or
"falling in line" or anything like that. 

Indeed, instead of kissing up, MAN up and recognize strength over
weakness in these situations.

It is every bit as weak to ignore a woman's needs in favor of your
own selfishness as it is to kowtow to her every selfish need.

I'll talk to you again soon.

=====





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