[X&Y] Storytelling Secrets
Published: Thu, 12/19/24
Updated: Tue, 12/24/24
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Have you ever wanted to be the guy who could
captivate a woman (or anyone else, really) with truly greatstories?
=====
LET EVERYONE ELSE WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT
THEIR RELATIONSHIP WILL LAST
Check it out. Back around 2006 or so when we were just getting
started around here, I used to get a smattering of emails from guys
out there issuing me "friendly warnings".
The common theme was stark cynicism toward my relationship
with Emily:
"Look fella, you're happy now but talk to me in three years after
she's long gone and has half your wealth. You won't be so happy
then, will you fella?"
"Why don't you just tell the truth. Emily is a paid actress. There's
no way any woman could look at you like that and act so over-the-
top happy and whatever unless you were paying her."
"Hahaha! You and your so-called 'marriage' are such a fraud! As
soon as Tommy Lee knocks on the door, your beloved Emily is
going to run off with him and forget all about you. Stupid moron."
Now sure, with as many men subscribed to this newsletter as there
were even then, some angry haters were to be expected.
So why am I being so vulnerable here?
Well, here's the interesting part. Over the years the number of
messages like that steadily declined, to the point where I don't
remember having received one for YEARS now.
The cynics and haters have long since given up their schadenfreude.
You see, it has been nearly nineteen years since Emily and I met,
yet even nowadays people often think we're newlyweds.
Meanwhile, Tommy Lee never knocked on the door, and even if
he had, Emily wouldn't have been interested. Her words, not mine.
If Emily had really been an "actress", surely she would have moved
on to a higher-paying gig instead of being so type-cast.
And let's just say I hope the "fella" in Australia didn't have a bet
riding on whether or not I'd call him within three years. He'd be
about seventeen years late and a dollar short at this point.
If anything, Emily and I we adore each other more than ever. We've
been on more adventures and crossed more items off of our
"bucket list" than ever before since we've been married.
We've had two more kids together, and they're terrific. They see
how Emily and I are together and they treat us and each other with
the same respect.
But deep down, I fully realize you couldn't give a rat's ass about us.
You want to defy the odds and share an amazing relationship with
the woman of YOUR dreams.
You want to shut up the cynics and the haters in your life--and
even the nagging doubts in your head--and boldly live the dream
with a woman YOU actually WANT to be with...who WANTS YOU
just as much.
You want to be that couple everyone else envies. The ones other
couples ask for advice.
In short, you want to get the most important part of your life right,
preferably the first time.
We've got your back. Get Together, Stay Together is your
complete toolkit for really, actually making this entire scenario
happen in YOUR life:
Get Together, Stay Together
Right now, you'll get 50% off...PLUS a free copy of my program
The Leading Man, which is all about managing relationships with
women, from the first date on.
=====
STORYTELLING SECRETS (PART ONE)
Storytelling. What do we ALREADY know about it?
Well, for starters we know that if someone really charismatic
starts telling a truly GREAT story, he can literally gather a crowd
around him.
BUT...we also know that if our Uncle Gerald starts blathering on
after dinner about "back in the day" for the umpteen-zillionth
time, everyone's going to get up and leave the table.
So what's the difference between Uncle Gerald and the guy
who's so good at becoming the center of attention?
That question, to me at least, is best answered by sharing the
eight crucial elements that together form the very ESSENCE of
high-quality storytelling.
Get these factors working for you and you'll be a raconteur
extraordinaire almost overnight.
Here are the first four:
Nah, it's just a convenient acronym to help you remember the FIVE
WAYS to make any story actually INTERESTING.
"FEM WC" actually stands for "funny", "endearing", "mysterious",
"weird", and "curious".
"Funny" I think you can grasp without a whole lot of elaboration.
If a story makes people laugh that's a good thing...unless, of
course, they're laughing out of awkward embarrassment.
"Endearing" means that the story causes the listener to think about
positive, fun thoughts...or even see YOU in a positive, fun light.
If you have a story about how you stopped the car in traffic to
help a train of baby ducks cross the street safely, that would
qualify.
Stories with a "mysterious" element are great because we as human
beings love to puzzle our brains trying to figure out what is yet
unanswered. Any story you have with an "unsolved" piece to it
would likely be a great one to share.
Now while telling "weird" stories can be powerful, you've got to be
a bit more careful than usual. Make sure that it's the SUBJECT
MATTER of the story at hand that's "weird", not YOU for telling it.
This means that there should be something YOU see as strange or
incongruous that you're merely sharing with others. By carefully
positioning yourself as the NORMAL observer, you keep your
storytelling priorities in order.
And what about "curious"? Any story with a curiosity element will
naturally cause listeners to ask questions and find out even more
about what you shared. This obviously means that your story was
interesting.
If after having told one of your favorite stories you find that
people almost always respond with something to the effect of,
"Well, but wait a minute though. What about...?" then you know
you've hit the "curious" button.
Note that "boring", "creepy", "awkward", "generic" and "unoriginal"
are each NOT a part of the "FEM WC" acronym....and rightly not.
Man, is it ever easy for us as guys--all in the name of "storytelling"
--to lapse into droning on and on about how cool our car, boat, job
and/or ex-girlfriend are.
Hopefully we don't need to explain this much, but just in case...here
goes:
If you're trying to impress a woman with all of your stuff, you're
going to come off as an inherently unimpressive man.
Remember always that ANY story you tell shouldn't come off as
braggadocio.
If you can tell your stories about something other than yourself,
that's excellent.
If you're inescapably a central character in one of your own
stories, at the very least mix in a bit of self-deprecation...you
know, to make the story "endearing", "funny" and perhaps even
"curious".
One of the beauties of a well-executed story is that it actually
furthers the conversation that's already happening, elaborating
upon the subject at hand rather than abruptly changing gears
altogether.
After all, the main point here is to engage the woman in continued
interesting conversation, right?
Well, in order to get that sort of "heavy lifting" done you'll need
to make sure that your story has at least SOME tie-in to what's
already being talked about.
Otherwise, if you bust out with, "Hey, did I ever tell you about my
Uncle Gerald?" you just might get puzzled looks...shortly before
everyone gets up and leaves the table, so to speak.
By the way, as an important aside, always be sure to avoid
"one-upmanship" stories in the name of keeping the topic on track.
This is kind of in line with point #2 above also. It comes off
as an insecure form of approval seeking.
Think about it. There's really nothing worse than when someone
follows something amazing you just said with, "That's nothing. One
time I..." That's just an open display of horrible social skills.
Here's a REALLY important one.
Just like every good stand-up comedian already knows, delivery is
everything.
That can only mean you've got to know your story like the back of
your hand before you tell it. Make sure you know all the important
parts (without leaving any out) and are able to tell them in order.
In other words, you don't want to sabotage your tale by saying "Oh
wait--I forgot to tell you about the part where..."
That just messes up the flow of things, all the while sapping much
of the ever-elusive charisma out of your presence. Not fun.
Here's a great tip for making sure you really KNOW your stories:
Create your stories around events AS THEY HAPPEN.
That's right. Whenever you experience something awesome,
make it a point to remind yourself that THIS is the kind of thing
you'll want to tell your grandkids (and the next woman you meet)
about.
That will help you form a terrific story while the memory is still
fresh.
Similarly, if you hear a story from someone else that you think
you'd be interested in recounting later, be sure to go over the
main points in your head right after hearing the story so you can
commit it to memory.
And yes...3rd party stories can be just as effective as 1st person
ones. At the very least, by starting a story with, "You know, a
friend of mine once..." it shows you likely have an active social
circle (aka "friends") already in place.
In tomorrow's newsletter we'll follow up with four more critical
components of solid storytelling...starting with yet another one
having to do with that all-important aspect of DELIVERY.
And the other three I've got in store for you? Let's just say I'm
almost sure you'll have never thought of ANY of them before.
Stay tuned...and get ready to set yourself apart from all other
would-be storytelling geniuses out there.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
Storytelling. What do we ALREADY know about it?
Well, for starters we know that if someone really charismatic
starts telling a truly GREAT story, he can literally gather a crowd
around him.
BUT...we also know that if our Uncle Gerald starts blathering on
after dinner about "back in the day" for the umpteen-zillionth
time, everyone's going to get up and leave the table.
So what's the difference between Uncle Gerald and the guy
who's so good at becoming the center of attention?
That question, to me at least, is best answered by sharing the
eight crucial elements that together form the very ESSENCE of
high-quality storytelling.
Get these factors working for you and you'll be a raconteur
extraordinaire almost overnight.
Here are the first four:
1) The "FEM WC" Is NOT The Women's Restroom
Nah, it's just a convenient acronym to help you remember the FIVE
WAYS to make any story actually INTERESTING.
"FEM WC" actually stands for "funny", "endearing", "mysterious",
"weird", and "curious".
"Funny" I think you can grasp without a whole lot of elaboration.
If a story makes people laugh that's a good thing...unless, of
course, they're laughing out of awkward embarrassment.
"Endearing" means that the story causes the listener to think about
positive, fun thoughts...or even see YOU in a positive, fun light.
If you have a story about how you stopped the car in traffic to
help a train of baby ducks cross the street safely, that would
qualify.
Stories with a "mysterious" element are great because we as human
beings love to puzzle our brains trying to figure out what is yet
unanswered. Any story you have with an "unsolved" piece to it
would likely be a great one to share.
Now while telling "weird" stories can be powerful, you've got to be
a bit more careful than usual. Make sure that it's the SUBJECT
MATTER of the story at hand that's "weird", not YOU for telling it.
This means that there should be something YOU see as strange or
incongruous that you're merely sharing with others. By carefully
positioning yourself as the NORMAL observer, you keep your
storytelling priorities in order.
And what about "curious"? Any story with a curiosity element will
naturally cause listeners to ask questions and find out even more
about what you shared. This obviously means that your story was
interesting.
If after having told one of your favorite stories you find that
people almost always respond with something to the effect of,
"Well, but wait a minute though. What about...?" then you know
you've hit the "curious" button.
Note that "boring", "creepy", "awkward", "generic" and "unoriginal"
are each NOT a part of the "FEM WC" acronym....and rightly not.
2) "Telling A Story" And "Trying To Impress" Are NOT
Synonymous
Synonymous
Man, is it ever easy for us as guys--all in the name of "storytelling"
--to lapse into droning on and on about how cool our car, boat, job
and/or ex-girlfriend are.
Hopefully we don't need to explain this much, but just in case...here
goes:
If you're trying to impress a woman with all of your stuff, you're
going to come off as an inherently unimpressive man.
Remember always that ANY story you tell shouldn't come off as
braggadocio.
If you can tell your stories about something other than yourself,
that's excellent.
If you're inescapably a central character in one of your own
stories, at the very least mix in a bit of self-deprecation...you
know, to make the story "endearing", "funny" and perhaps even
"curious".
3) Stay On Point
One of the beauties of a well-executed story is that it actually
furthers the conversation that's already happening, elaborating
upon the subject at hand rather than abruptly changing gears
altogether.
After all, the main point here is to engage the woman in continued
interesting conversation, right?
Well, in order to get that sort of "heavy lifting" done you'll need
to make sure that your story has at least SOME tie-in to what's
already being talked about.
Otherwise, if you bust out with, "Hey, did I ever tell you about my
Uncle Gerald?" you just might get puzzled looks...shortly before
everyone gets up and leaves the table, so to speak.
By the way, as an important aside, always be sure to avoid
"one-upmanship" stories in the name of keeping the topic on track.
This is kind of in line with point #2 above also. It comes off
as an insecure form of approval seeking.
Think about it. There's really nothing worse than when someone
follows something amazing you just said with, "That's nothing. One
time I..." That's just an open display of horrible social skills.
4) Get The Story Straight
Here's a REALLY important one.
Just like every good stand-up comedian already knows, delivery is
everything.
That can only mean you've got to know your story like the back of
your hand before you tell it. Make sure you know all the important
parts (without leaving any out) and are able to tell them in order.
In other words, you don't want to sabotage your tale by saying "Oh
wait--I forgot to tell you about the part where..."
That just messes up the flow of things, all the while sapping much
of the ever-elusive charisma out of your presence. Not fun.
Here's a great tip for making sure you really KNOW your stories:
Create your stories around events AS THEY HAPPEN.
That's right. Whenever you experience something awesome,
make it a point to remind yourself that THIS is the kind of thing
you'll want to tell your grandkids (and the next woman you meet)
about.
That will help you form a terrific story while the memory is still
fresh.
Similarly, if you hear a story from someone else that you think
you'd be interested in recounting later, be sure to go over the
main points in your head right after hearing the story so you can
commit it to memory.
And yes...3rd party stories can be just as effective as 1st person
ones. At the very least, by starting a story with, "You know, a
friend of mine once..." it shows you likely have an active social
circle (aka "friends") already in place.
In tomorrow's newsletter we'll follow up with four more critical
components of solid storytelling...starting with yet another one
having to do with that all-important aspect of DELIVERY.
And the other three I've got in store for you? Let's just say I'm
almost sure you'll have never thought of ANY of them before.
Stay tuned...and get ready to set yourself apart from all other
would-be storytelling geniuses out there.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
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