[X&Y] "Hey Kid, Want A Candy Cane?"
Published: Tue, 12/24/24
Updated: Mon, 12/30/24
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Why are most of us so petrified
to approach women? Honestly, a big part of what's
keeping us from doing so is something we may
have learned in kindergarten.
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YOU GET A CHRISTMAS PRESENT TOO
Some of you are dads, like I am.
That means you'll be spending most of your
energy playing Santa Claus tonight...as I
will, also.
Even if you have nephews and nieces, it
may still be the case that you're giving a
WHOLE lot more than you're getting.
And it's great. Fun, even.
But wait a minute...it's also the case that
we as men usually get the fewest Christmas
presents of all...
...if any.
Well, I've got your back, man. It's time you
got a piece of the Christmas cheer action.
That's why I'm giving you a bona fide $20
gift card to use like cash in the X & Y
Communications Store.
Just enter "giftcard20" at checkout, and
watch the Christmas magic happen:
Merry Christmas To YOU, For A Change
And since I'm all-in on Holiday spirit this year,
here's something I just added today.
When you use your gift card, I'll give you a
copy of How To Manage Your Wildly
Successful Dating Life as an extra stocking
stuffer.
I'm confident you'll be able to put that book
to good use sooner than later.
(And yes, if you've already used your gift
card, I added it in your Member's Portal for
you, too.)
Merry Christmas, man. You've shelled out
enough, already. It's your turn:
Merry Christmas To YOU, For A Change
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"HEY KID, WANT A CANDY CANE?"
As you might imagine, I talk to a lot of people from New York
City.
Interestingly enough, however, people who move to NYC from
elsewhere tend to report how LONELY they are...even with
MILLIONS of people around them.
What's up with that? It has to suck...especially around the
Holidays like this.
Despite the apparent irony there, it really is HARD to meet new
people...and I'm not just talking about beautiful women.
That's true whether you're in New York or anywhere else, really.
A big reason for that is one of the simple truths of modern society.
That's this: Everything you ever needed to know in order to be
PERMANENTLY influenced AGAINST approaching women you
learned in kindergarten.
That's right. Most of our parents taught us (and vehemently so)
that we "should never talk to strangers".
Now, while this was surely effective at keeping us as kids away
from the clutches of evildoers who lured us with candy or
something, there's one major problem.
Nobody ever helped us UNLEARN the concept once we were
actually grown up enough to fend for ourselves.
Stop and think about this for a moment. The evidence of how true
this is can be found everywhere.
You get in a crowded elevator and nobody talks to each other. In
the checkout line at the grocery store...same thing.
In fact, try this if you're not already in the habit of doing so.
Simply comment about something--anything--to a total stranger.
It doesn't even have to be an attractive woman, necessarily. It
can be ANYONE.
I can all but guarantee that the look on the person's face will
range from somewhere between mild surprise to utter shock.
BUT...after that initial moment of awkwardness is gone, the other
person WILL respond. And probably in a manner as friendly as
befitting your initial comment to them.
You will have started a conversation successfully, even if it did
indeed take a complete departure from "social norms".
Pretty crazy, isn't it?
But here's the most amazing part, at least to me.
Since MOST of us never talk to strangers in general, that means
that when we DO finally feel compelled to change that habit it's
usually in the context of MEETING WOMEN, isn't it?
OK, so let's assume, then, that we indeed get up the nerve to do
what's strange to us, and we finally approach a woman.
It could be in that crowded elevator, in line at the supermarket
or...yes...even on 5th Avenue in Manhattan.
And when we start that conversation, she looks at us with a
tentative or even startled expression on her face.
What happens next?
Often times, we assume we've already blown it. We confuse that
surprised look on her face with disinterest or even disgust.
But usually it's only that she went to the same kindergarten class
we did.
She survived childhood by not taking candy from strangers. And
nobody unwired HER "stranger danger" either.
Seriously. That's VERY OFTEN all there is to it. Put this one to
the test in the real world and let me know how it goes.
You've just been given a MAJOR game-changer when it comes to
getting over the fear of approaching women.
When you EXPECT a woman to be taken aback initially when you
approach her--because it's totally normal in today's culture--then
you begin to realize that all it takes is to continue with the next
line of conversation.
If you'd like, you can even tell her with a smile that she's all
grown up now. It's okay for her to talk to strangers.
That way, she might not remain a stranger for long.
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