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=====


 

Last time in Part One we talked about how "style" is not really
just about your "look" as much as it is your overall vibe. 

I'm sure you've heard the old, worn-out cliché, "beauty isn't skin
deep". 

Anyone who has ever been excited about a first date with a
beautiful woman only to crawl the walls 45 minutes into the thing
because you couldn't stand to be around her any longer knows how
true that is.

Well similarly,having a cool haircut and some new threads doesn't
necessarily mean you have an intriguing aura about you. 

You could be just another generic dude in nice clothes, regardless
of what some book on "fashion sense" tells you.

Having read the first installment, you already know ten key
questions to ask yourself.

Here are eleven more to help you fine-tune the "vibe" you project
to the world:

 

Would you be the maitre d' or the executive chef...or would you just
handle the biz?  Would it be "fine dining" or fast food?


 

Careful...this is a different question than "What city would you be
mayor of?"  This isn't the place you necessarily feel at home or
have the most personal affinity toward.

Rather, it simply is where you'd want to BE right now if you could.
 

 

There's something cool out there that other people are doing and
you're not...but you'd like to.  What is it?

While the question of WHY you aren't into it yet is a good one,
that's not necessarily a factor right now.  Put all the excuses--
including physical, logistical and financial ones--on the shelf for
now and simply fill in the blank.


 

Maybe you have a dog already, or maybe not.  If you DO have one,
I trust it's the one you'd like to have.

If NOT, forget for a brief moment that you're allergic to dogs,
have no place for one and/or aren't really a "dog guy" anyway.

Instead, imagine yourself in the surroundings most conducive to
having Man's Best Friend along for the ride and picture your
pooch.

By the way, note that I'm not asking about cats.


 

That's a GREAT one, isn't it? 

Knowing what you know today, what would you be sure to get right
that you most certainly DIDN'T the first time around?

Similarly, what would you do if you could go back to college for a
day?


 

Your first thought that came to mind may or may not be the real
answer here. 

Have you programmed yourself over the years to prize a certain
aspect of yourself...but REALLY feel most gratified when ANOTHER
virtue takes center stage?

If you've ever read through online dating profiles only to realize
that 90% of all people claim the same four or five attributes over
and over you'll get my drift here.

Think this one through, because the better and more secure you
feel about THIS answer the better your NEXT answer will be.
 

 

The jury's out on whether you should quit it or not, and people
around you may even be telling you that you should. 

But you don't give a rip.  You're going to keep doing it anyway.

Go ahead...answer this one honestly.  Nobody's really watching
except you.

   
 

I'm not asking about your job.  I'm asking about your livelihood.

Let's assume that you already have a "life purpose" with some
ambition tied to it.  After all, we talk about that all the time
around here, so I'm not about to go into it again in this context.

How would you really, truly like to pay the bills for "living the
dream" you have in mind?


 

There's something out there that instantly caused you to think,
"Man, I wish I would have thought of that" the first time you ever
saw it.  What is it?

If you'd prefer, think of a major discovery that you wish you'd
made.  Personally, I always wonder about the first guy who figured
out that crabs and shrimp are amazingly delicious.  After all, they
sure don't look it.

By the way, was your immediate reaction to think of something that
HASN'T been invented or discovered yet?  Nice.  Run with that.


 

That's right...this question is the most poignant one of all, but
also arguably the best.

So how about it?  How would you want to die if you had the choice?

Get over the fact that this is a morbid question. How you answer
it says tons about who you are and what you're really like.

Would it be peacefully in your sleep, fighting whatever's trying to
take you to the bitter end, or in a "blaze of glory"?

If you've ever seen "Gran Torino" with Clint Eastwood, the movie is
all about answering that very question.

By the way, if you dug "Gran Torino" you should Netflix "The
Shootist" sometime. It was John Wayne's last movie and is clearly
what inspired "Gran Torino".

Okay, and NOW comes the clincher...


 

That's right.  The style question most people try to answer first
should actually be the very last one you ask.

Think about it...you have to know the product before you can know
how best to package it.  It all goes back to marketing, right?

Can you see the irony there?  Better yet, can you see why that
irony is a game changer when it comes to pinpointing your own
personal style?



By now you've answered all of those questions, and I trust you
answered them boldly and honestly.

Even so, when you hold all of your answers up to the light some
of them may seem to overlap in an apparently incongruous way. 

That's okay.  Remember...you CAN'T be incongruent if you
answered honestly.  Rest assured of that.

You CAN, however, have complex facets that together form
your most intriguing (and yes, attractive) self.

How much more of the big picture of what you're REALLY like
and what kind of vibe to emanate do you have now? 

Can you really picture this more holistic and dare I say more
informed view of yourself? 

What is the guy who holds all of those opinions and favors all of
those sorts things really LIKE?

What does he DO?  Where does he GO?  What does he SAY?

Who does he hang out with?

Try on that overall vibe you've just created.  It should fit like a
custom-tailored Brioni suit.  After all, it's YOU. It REALLY is.

What's more, you should be psyched to go out and BE that guy. 

At the very least, you should be more excited about it than you are
about falling in line as another boring, vanilla (and dare I say
neuter) member of the human race.

But wait...there's just one more thing to add.  Let's drop a bomb
on this whole conversation.

As you know, strong character is the cornerstone of the "big
four".

Are you starting to feel how this whole character component is
WAY, WAY larger than simply being honest and doing what you say
you'll do? 

After all, "integrity" means "wholeness". 

That means that the more complex your self-awareness is, the
deeper your character is. 

Similarly, the more you can be congruent about, the stronger your
character will be in general.

With that in mind, how excited are you NOW to go out and live your
vibe to the fullest?

 

P.S.  Did you like this exercise and crave even more cool "style"
questions to ask?  Real quickly, here are several more good ones:


1)    What would your "logo" look like?

2)    What number would you wear on your jersey?

3)    What would you name your racehorse?

4)    What companies should be your "sponsors"?

5)    What's the name of your mansion (or ranch)?

6)    What's the name of your yacht?

7)    What building or structure will they name after you someday
in dedication to your benevolence and enduring gift to society?


Did you come up with some questions of your own?  Perfect.  Send
them to me at scot@deservewhatyouwant.com if you think they're
particularly cool.  I'd love to see them.

=====





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