[X&Y] The Bikini Girl Says, "Your Eyes Have Chosen Me"
Published: Mon, 10/21/24
Updated: Mon, 10/21/24
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"YOUR EYES HAVE CHOSEN ME"
There was once a bikini shop in Ocean City, MD that had
the title of this newsletter on all of their ads...right next to a
girl wearing an example of their merchandise, of course.
Your first thought may be it's a genius slogan because, well...
a hot chick in a bikini catches our eye as men.
But wait a minute. It's an advertisement we're talking
about here.
That means it's targeting WOMEN, since they're the ones
who actually shop for bikinis.
Billboards with that saying were along US 50 leading to
the beach for YEARS. They may STILL be there, for all I
know.
That means they WORKED.
But WHY? I mean, don't women cringe at the idea of random
men objectifying them sexually?
Yes, it's true. They do.
So what gives?
Are they fixating on only some rich, good-looking guy's eyes
"choosing" them?
Or some d-bag they already have a crush on?
Nope. That's not it. At least not at the archetypal level,
where that ad REALLY triggers them.
To figure out WHY that ad works so well, you have to
examine the PRIMAL nature of femininity.
Women are all about safety and security. When a man
makes them feel that way, they're SEXUALLY ATTRACTED.
And YES...when women feel sexually attracted to a man,
they're ALL ABOUT him feeling sexually attracted to HER.
When this dance is done right, that "male gaze" Feminists
complain about is not only WELCOMED, it's CELEBRATED.
So here it is:
Nothing makes a woman feel safer and more secure
with a man than feeling CHOSEN.
That is, he has actively, intentionally SELECTED her
above all others. She's not merely another "notch on
his bedpost", or something like that.
Therefore--as weird as it may seem to our male minds--
the bikini shop ad captures EXACTLY what a woman's
goal is in looking sexy and cute on the beach.
She doesn't want to be just another woman who catches
a man's eye...
...she wants to be THE woman who captivates him and
draws him in, uniquely to HER.
Note that this is NOT another way of phrasing the cynical
old refrain that you're only allowed to actively notice
how sexy a woman dresses if you're a "genetically gifted"
guy...and for all the "normal dudes" it's sexual harassment.
This is a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT reframe.
Yes, some women crave mass attention. But MOST (who
are the target market of the ad) dream about finding
ONE man who selects HER as his absolute favorite.
Said another way, it's not that she's somehow leading,
seeing herself in control.
She fantasizes about a man leading and taking control
HIMSELF by selecting her.
Can you see the important difference there?
If so, you're well on your way to never settling for
the wrong woman (or just any woman) ever again.
The especially cool part is it will cure you of "Second
Stage Fear Of Rejection" on the spot, if you let it (i.e.
no more failing to deploy when it's time to get her number
and make plans).
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