[X&Y] If She Feels THIS Way, Then Anything Goes...
Published: Fri, 10/25/24
Updated: Fri, 10/25/24
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IN THIS EDITION: If women love sex as much as
men do, then why is it that it seems like we as men
are the ones who push for it early and often in a
relationship?
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LIFE IS SHORT, BUT IT'S ALSO LONG
It's almost November already. Before you know it,
the Holidays will be here.
Time has flown over the past few years, but then
again it hasn't.
Just when you expected everyone would want to
get out and be social again, new habits have been
formed of staying inside and doing NOTHING.
Dating apps have basically become nothing but
frustrating, haven't they?
Here's the deal, though. Not everyone has allowed
themselves to become more complacent than ever.
How about you? Are you NOT one of the passive
majority?
There ARE women out there for whom enough is
enough, and they're READY to meet you.
Are you ready for THEM?
If you've ever been on the fence about making a bold
stand for your right to a long and happy future with
the woman who is the one for you, then NOW is the
time to move.
What you do RIGHT NOW will set the trend. Will
you spend your life with a great woman, or will you
join others in a "new normal" of social isolation?
Something's got to give. Talk to me and let's put a
plan of action together that gets you where you
want to be.
Schedule that call right here:
https://www.scotmckay.net/schedule
You don't have to follow the herd, who haven't even
been told what exactly they're waiting for.
Their goalposts may move, but yours don't have
to anymore.
https://www.scotmckay.net/schedule
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IF SHE FEELS *THIS* WAY, THEN ANYTHING GOES...
As you know, being able to inspire confidence in a woman is one of
the "big four" traits that define success with women in general.
Lately, the more that I think about it, I'm becoming more and more
convinced that the third component--making her feel safe and
comfortable in your presence--is the linchpin in the entire sequence
...especially when it comes to getting past the platonic stage of a
relationship.
We all know it's "safety first" when it comes to having sex.
But it's also "safety first" when it comes to getting to the point
of a sexual relationship at all.
Essentially, it goes like this.
I think we're well acquainted with the stereotypes regarding what
men and women usually push for when meeting MOTOS (members
of the other sex).
While men are usually viewed as wanting to get women into bed fast,
women are seen as wanting to rope men into long-term relationships
ASAP.
But here's the thing: Those stereotypes don't necessarily hold
true all the time, do they?
Sometimes a guy will meet a particularly amazing woman and push
very hard to make her his girlfriend...almost immediately. I think
we can all relate to that one, at least at some level.
Moreover, we've all heard reports time and again from guys with
pretty good "game" that women are actually AS MUCH into sex IF
NOT MORE than we as guys are.
Yet for many us as men, that statement flat-out doesn't add up.
Some of us just haven't seen the reality of it in the real world, so we
can't relate to it.
Well, what if I told you that I firmly believe that safety is essentially a
barrier that is necessary to clear away before a sexual relationship is
possible.
So if things are so similar between men and women, how come they're
so, um...different so often when the rubber meets the road?
Simple. Women are WAY, WAY more often the ones who fear for their
safety when interacting with MOTOS.
As I've said before, the man a woman often needs to feel protected
from the most is the one she's with.
That's YOU, man. So she's got to know first that she can trust you
not to harm her, and then that you've got her best interests at
heart.
We also know that women are almost universally attracted to a man
who can lead.
They also want a man with ambition--you know, a plan. Knowing you
are that kind of a guy frees a woman up to worry less about both
the present AND the future.
Meanwhile, what about us as guys?
Hardwired to be driven by ambition ourselves and unencumbered by
the potential for threat to our personal security when with a
woman, safety is not so much of an issue.
We just don't need it from a woman, at least in the physical sense.
And if we have the audacity to want a woman to "support us", we
end up feeling like less of a man.
Argue with me if you must, but I know exactly zero guys who gain
any sense of fulfillment from that situation.
In fact, think of it this way: If a guy depends on a woman for any
sort of safety, even in the short term when initially meeting her
or on a date with her, how does he come off?
You got it: NEEDY and/or INSECURE.
And what happens when THAT'S the case? Right again: No sexual
relationship.
Is this all starting to make sense?
Well, here's the most breathtaking part of all.
Who are the women who tend to "break the mold" when it comes to
being as eager for sex as early and often in a relationship as most
men?
That's right. It's the women who are self-sufficient. It's the women
who have learned to be largely dependent upon themselves for
safety and security.
Single women who are a bit older, have experienced a divorce and/or
are raising children on their own have been there, done that, and
learned to find their way in the world without a man around.
And they're precisely the ones who are often cited as being more
likely to be sexually aggressive...and WAY sooner than other women.
Think of the whole "MILF" concept and you've got a prime example of
what I mean.
I've experienced this phenomenon myself when dating women who fit
any or all of the criteria I listed above.
In fact, I remember observing more often than not that
thirtysomething divorced mommies pretty much fit the male
stereotype of coming off as "sex focused".
It's as if to them all the women repeating the mantra about "not
needing a man" are simply trying to talk themselves into feeling
that way (because they are).
Meanwhile, all it takes to ignite such a woman sexually is to
ignite her femininity with your masculinity.
Assuming you can get past the easiest part of making her feel safe--
that is, that you're not likely to be an axe murderer or otherwise harm
her in any way physically--IT'S ON.
Confidence and masculinity (aka the first two components of the
"big four") are mostly all it takes when dealing with a woman who
can fend for herself in the world.
But just don't be caught dead depending on her for security. She
won't be in the mood to carry you in that way.
In fact, such will undermine your masculinity, of course, meaning
(ironically enough) you'll be disqualified in her mind as anything
more than "just a friend".
And here's a hint: If you HAVE been out with thirtysomething
single moms and found them to be sexually reserved and tentative,
then it's time to look in the mirror. You MAY be "failing to
deploy" more than you've ever thought.
Do you still need more proof that what I'm talking about, as
amazing as it sounds, may actually be rooted in some semblance of
reality?
Consider ye olde reliable Maslow's hierarchy of human needs. What
resides directly above "safety needs" on the pyramid?
Yep...sexuality. Clear the safety hurdle, and it's all about
getting sexual needs met from there.
This is for real, gentlemen. It's 100% imperative that you cause a
woman to feel safe and secure with you. And as a man it's equally
necessary to be self-dependent for one's OWN safety and security.
But you've always known both of those things...as least in principle.
Now you're armed with the frame of reference as to WHY it's all
the case, and how it all fits together.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
P.S. I've noticed that a lot of guys unsubscribe from this
newsletter once they succeed at finding a great girlfriend.
Remember, however, that this isn't so much a "pickup" newsletter
as a "success with women" newsletter.
That means that over half of what I write to you about is equally
applicable after you have a great woman in your life, if not
even MORE so.
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