[X&Y] Why You're Not Meeting The Right Woman (Reader Question)
Published: Mon, 10/28/24
Updated: Mon, 10/28/24
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: Everyone tells you how
great a guy you are. Yet you STILL don't
seem to have the right woman in your life.
=====
SO-CALLED "HIGHER EDUCATION"
STOPPED TEACHING THIS
=====
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
This Wednesday, 10/30 @8p EDT (GMT -5)
=====
It used to be people paid good money to
go to college...all to learn how to THINK.
These days, people pay relatively
exhorbitant amounts of money for college
...and are told WHAT to think.
Sure, students still major in something
that hopefully leads to a productive
career.
But we're MEN, not robots.
And it has always been that ability to
think, reason and continue learning that
has REALLY made a college degree so
valuable.
The weird part is those powers STILL set
you apart as a man to be reckoned with as
much as EVER...even as they're found less
and less out there.
Consider this Wednesday's Masterclass
For Men a "make-up class" for all of
that skill universities have "forgotten"
to impart nowadays:
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
Obviously, you won't have to go into ten
years' worth of six-figure tuition debt
to gain this knowledge.
And guess what? Even if you DID get a
college degree back in the "good ol' days"
you can STILL plan on adding to your
personal power.
The plain truth is when you know how
to think like a MAN, you don't get
"stuck" anymore.
Nobody can take advantage of you anymore.
And best of all, to reclaim your righful
place as a HERO to women...all because
you KNOW how to THINK and ACT when
the chips are down.
This transcends mere tactical skill. Your
very MIND is strengthened.
By now you can sense just how powerful
THIS Masterclass For Men will truly be:
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
It all happens about 48 hours from now.
Reserve your seat and join us.
If you can't make it on Wednesday though, it's
not the end of the world. You can get full and
complete access shortly afterward, including the
ability to ask all the questions you want.
=====
"IF I'M SO TERRIFIC, WHY CAN'T I GET THE RIGHT WOMAN?"
Dear Scot,
If I'm so terrific, why can't I get the right woman?
All my life I've been told I'd be a good father, that I'm a good
man. I make women I know laugh, from young ones to older ones.
But how come I haven't met the right girl?
I'm 24 years old and I'm ready to move out of the United States.
I mean, let's be honest, Americans (American women especially) have
not shown more than friendship interest to asian/pacific islander
men, especially when they're short (under 5'7").
I dunno...maybe I'm going after the wrong girl, the hot blonde or
brunette (who in my opinion act real trashy so why would I even
care) and maybe I need to start going after girls that are like
myself.
But I dunno man, another part of me feels like I HAVE TO GET A
GIRLFRIEND.
But in honesty, I really just wanna make music.
But it would be nice to get noticed, to be paid a compliment, or a
glance once in a while, to ask me how my day was.
Sometimes I just feel so alone...so disconnected with others...so
different.
I feel like people just want me to always help or talk to someone.
I mean DAMN, didn't it occur to them that I need help too!!
But I'm not a hit it and quit it kinda guy.
I want a girlfriend to like me...for me...to raise me up when I'm
down, to help me when I need help, to let me be when I need to cool
off, to pet my ego a bit, to desire me, to want to by my lover, to
want to make children, to want to die for me, to worship God with,
to help the poor with me, to by my teammate, to make beautiful
music together, to workout with me, to laugh so hard our sides and
jaws hurt, to cry with, to smile with, to succeed with, to sleep
together, shower together, to eat together, to just talk, to joke
around with, to sing together, to make hard decisions with, to
clean the house with, to listen to music together, to go on
adventures together, to learn new languages with me, to make meals
with, to wash the car with, to clean diapers with, to stand up for
justice together, to be a role model for our kids, to discipline
the kids with, to love our kids, to tell our daughter she is NOT
allowed to wear that dress, to tell our son No means NO, to shop
with, to kiss with, to hold hands, to grow old together, to play
with our grandkids, to read the Bible with me, to teach our
children about God, to die with.
Sorry when I get into it, I don't think as much and just write.
Anyways, whatever you do...it's really working for you. And I am
so happy for you and your lovely wife. God has blessed you both!
Marcelo (St. Paul, MN)
=====
Hello Marcelo:
Thanks for writing. First of all, I want you to rest assured that you
are not alone. Man, so many guys struggle with the very same
issues you do.
You shared two thoughts I want to be sure to address:
Quote: "Maybe I need to start going after girls that are like
myself."
That's an outstanding plan.
A lot of guys think like they have to have a girlfriend that everyone
else (especially the media) would approve of...even if deep down
those women aren't really their "type". Crazy, huh?
But nearly 100% of the time, I've found that men who really
do deserve what they want by becoming the absolute best
version of their true selves find they genuinely prefer women
who are A LOT like themselves.
And the weirdest part? Here is perhaps the most breathtaking
realization of all for many, many guys.
When you learn to love even the parts about yourself you can't
change, and turn "limiting beliefs" into strengths, you actually end up
appreciating women who share those same traits that used to be
"limiting beliefs".
For example, let's say a certain guy is self-conscious about being
too much of a goofball. Maybe he feels he's got too dorky a sense
of humor.
But after a while, he embraces that part of himself and realizes that
if he's comfortable in his own skin, others will be also.
That goes well for him.
Then one day he meets one of those dorky, goofy girls who is all
the more adorable because of it. She's quirky and silly in an
irresistibly cute sort of way.
Best of all, she too is happy with who she is.
Fireworks ensue, and neither of them would have it any other way.
So then, as hard as it is sometimes to believe your self-perceived
limiting beliefs have less to do with your current state of affairs than
you presume they do, think of it this way...
How much happier are you going to be with a woman who sees
you as "her type"...and better yet, knows she's YOUR "type"?
Not only is she most definitely out there, there are more than one of
them.
Believe me, I'm not very tall myself. Yet I dated dozens of women
who thought I was "the perfect height for them".
Did they think that before they met me? Who knows? But it didn't
take them long to figure it out, that's for sure.
I can't speak for being Asian personally, but I can tell you for a
fact that I see tons of Asian guys with amazing women who seem
VERY happy with them.
When YOU appreciate who you are, women will also. That's part of
being attractive, at least from a woman's perspective.
Quote: "But I dunno man, another part of me feels like I HAVE TO
GET A GIRLFRIEND. But in honesty, I really just wanna make
music."
So make music. Doing what you feel drawn to do in life is exactly
what "purpose" is all about. And we already know that women find
that insanely attractive in a man.
Let the women see your passion for that and your purpose. They'll
credit that to you as confidence and masculinity. Then--go figure--
you'll find yourself attracting women more effortlessly, certainly
without it feeling like "work".
On the flip side, whenever you make something that feels like
drudgery your "purpose", that's when women fail to be attracted.
They sense that you're easily influenced by others in terms of your
life path. As a direct result, it doesn't seem to them like they
can count on feeling protected by you over the long term.
But in addition to what I've just described, Marcelo, there's a
major mindset shift I recommend to you in order to really start
getting the results with women you truly want.
That's this: Instead of focusing on what you want and trying to
get it, the secret to success with women really is representing to
women what they want in a man.
You know, the whole "deserve what you want" thing.
Then, the rest is easy.
Think about it this way. Let's put the shoe on the other foot
for a minute.
Which woman succeeds better with men? The one who is constantly
trying to get a guy to give her what she wants, or the one who guys
just naturally think is incredibly hot and feminine?
The answer is pretty obvious.
If you need a hint anyway, here's one: When anyone--man or
woman--is on a "mission" to find a companion, that almost always
comes off as self-centered, if not flat-out desperate.
Add to it the layer of "drudgery" I mentioned earlier, and it just
repels the other gender.
Being the "big four" guy I talk about is the essence of
representing to women what they want in a man.
That's why I talk about it all the time in The Master Plan, The
Leading Man, The Man's Approach and all of my other programs as
well. It's THAT important.
He is masculine as women define it, confident, able to make a woman
feel safe and secure in his presence, and has strong character as
his cornerstone.
It's that last one, by the way, that's going to help you check off
all those items on your list regarding what the the right woman
looks like.
When you know what you believe and why you believe it--and you
have the personal power to stick to living your truth--THAT'S when
you keep a woman devoted to you long-term.
...And that's probably after having made a solid decision on which
woman to have accompany you on life's journey.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
great a guy you are. Yet you STILL don't
seem to have the right woman in your life.
=====
SO-CALLED "HIGHER EDUCATION"
STOPPED TEACHING THIS
=====
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
This Wednesday, 10/30 @8p EDT (GMT -5)
=====
It used to be people paid good money to
go to college...all to learn how to THINK.
These days, people pay relatively
exhorbitant amounts of money for college
...and are told WHAT to think.
Sure, students still major in something
that hopefully leads to a productive
career.
But we're MEN, not robots.
And it has always been that ability to
think, reason and continue learning that
has REALLY made a college degree so
valuable.
The weird part is those powers STILL set
you apart as a man to be reckoned with as
much as EVER...even as they're found less
and less out there.
Consider this Wednesday's Masterclass
For Men a "make-up class" for all of
that skill universities have "forgotten"
to impart nowadays:
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
Obviously, you won't have to go into ten
years' worth of six-figure tuition debt
to gain this knowledge.
And guess what? Even if you DID get a
college degree back in the "good ol' days"
you can STILL plan on adding to your
personal power.
The plain truth is when you know how
to think like a MAN, you don't get
"stuck" anymore.
Nobody can take advantage of you anymore.
And best of all, to reclaim your righful
place as a HERO to women...all because
you KNOW how to THINK and ACT when
the chips are down.
This transcends mere tactical skill. Your
very MIND is strengthened.
By now you can sense just how powerful
THIS Masterclass For Men will truly be:
Masterclass For Men: Masculine Mindset
It all happens about 48 hours from now.
Reserve your seat and join us.
If you can't make it on Wednesday though, it's
not the end of the world. You can get full and
complete access shortly afterward, including the
ability to ask all the questions you want.
=====
"IF I'M SO TERRIFIC, WHY CAN'T I GET THE RIGHT WOMAN?"
Dear Scot,
If I'm so terrific, why can't I get the right woman?
All my life I've been told I'd be a good father, that I'm a good
man. I make women I know laugh, from young ones to older ones.
But how come I haven't met the right girl?
I'm 24 years old and I'm ready to move out of the United States.
I mean, let's be honest, Americans (American women especially) have
not shown more than friendship interest to asian/pacific islander
men, especially when they're short (under 5'7").
I dunno...maybe I'm going after the wrong girl, the hot blonde or
brunette (who in my opinion act real trashy so why would I even
care) and maybe I need to start going after girls that are like
myself.
But I dunno man, another part of me feels like I HAVE TO GET A
GIRLFRIEND.
But in honesty, I really just wanna make music.
But it would be nice to get noticed, to be paid a compliment, or a
glance once in a while, to ask me how my day was.
Sometimes I just feel so alone...so disconnected with others...so
different.
I feel like people just want me to always help or talk to someone.
I mean DAMN, didn't it occur to them that I need help too!!
But I'm not a hit it and quit it kinda guy.
I want a girlfriend to like me...for me...to raise me up when I'm
down, to help me when I need help, to let me be when I need to cool
off, to pet my ego a bit, to desire me, to want to by my lover, to
want to make children, to want to die for me, to worship God with,
to help the poor with me, to by my teammate, to make beautiful
music together, to workout with me, to laugh so hard our sides and
jaws hurt, to cry with, to smile with, to succeed with, to sleep
together, shower together, to eat together, to just talk, to joke
around with, to sing together, to make hard decisions with, to
clean the house with, to listen to music together, to go on
adventures together, to learn new languages with me, to make meals
with, to wash the car with, to clean diapers with, to stand up for
justice together, to be a role model for our kids, to discipline
the kids with, to love our kids, to tell our daughter she is NOT
allowed to wear that dress, to tell our son No means NO, to shop
with, to kiss with, to hold hands, to grow old together, to play
with our grandkids, to read the Bible with me, to teach our
children about God, to die with.
Sorry when I get into it, I don't think as much and just write.
Anyways, whatever you do...it's really working for you. And I am
so happy for you and your lovely wife. God has blessed you both!
Marcelo (St. Paul, MN)
=====
Hello Marcelo:
Thanks for writing. First of all, I want you to rest assured that you
are not alone. Man, so many guys struggle with the very same
issues you do.
You shared two thoughts I want to be sure to address:
Quote: "Maybe I need to start going after girls that are like
myself."
That's an outstanding plan.
A lot of guys think like they have to have a girlfriend that everyone
else (especially the media) would approve of...even if deep down
those women aren't really their "type". Crazy, huh?
But nearly 100% of the time, I've found that men who really
do deserve what they want by becoming the absolute best
version of their true selves find they genuinely prefer women
who are A LOT like themselves.
And the weirdest part? Here is perhaps the most breathtaking
realization of all for many, many guys.
When you learn to love even the parts about yourself you can't
change, and turn "limiting beliefs" into strengths, you actually end up
appreciating women who share those same traits that used to be
"limiting beliefs".
For example, let's say a certain guy is self-conscious about being
too much of a goofball. Maybe he feels he's got too dorky a sense
of humor.
But after a while, he embraces that part of himself and realizes that
if he's comfortable in his own skin, others will be also.
That goes well for him.
Then one day he meets one of those dorky, goofy girls who is all
the more adorable because of it. She's quirky and silly in an
irresistibly cute sort of way.
Best of all, she too is happy with who she is.
Fireworks ensue, and neither of them would have it any other way.
So then, as hard as it is sometimes to believe your self-perceived
limiting beliefs have less to do with your current state of affairs than
you presume they do, think of it this way...
How much happier are you going to be with a woman who sees
you as "her type"...and better yet, knows she's YOUR "type"?
Not only is she most definitely out there, there are more than one of
them.
Believe me, I'm not very tall myself. Yet I dated dozens of women
who thought I was "the perfect height for them".
Did they think that before they met me? Who knows? But it didn't
take them long to figure it out, that's for sure.
I can't speak for being Asian personally, but I can tell you for a
fact that I see tons of Asian guys with amazing women who seem
VERY happy with them.
When YOU appreciate who you are, women will also. That's part of
being attractive, at least from a woman's perspective.
Quote: "But I dunno man, another part of me feels like I HAVE TO
GET A GIRLFRIEND. But in honesty, I really just wanna make
music."
So make music. Doing what you feel drawn to do in life is exactly
what "purpose" is all about. And we already know that women find
that insanely attractive in a man.
Let the women see your passion for that and your purpose. They'll
credit that to you as confidence and masculinity. Then--go figure--
you'll find yourself attracting women more effortlessly, certainly
without it feeling like "work".
On the flip side, whenever you make something that feels like
drudgery your "purpose", that's when women fail to be attracted.
They sense that you're easily influenced by others in terms of your
life path. As a direct result, it doesn't seem to them like they
can count on feeling protected by you over the long term.
But in addition to what I've just described, Marcelo, there's a
major mindset shift I recommend to you in order to really start
getting the results with women you truly want.
That's this: Instead of focusing on what you want and trying to
get it, the secret to success with women really is representing to
women what they want in a man.
You know, the whole "deserve what you want" thing.
Then, the rest is easy.
Think about it this way. Let's put the shoe on the other foot
for a minute.
Which woman succeeds better with men? The one who is constantly
trying to get a guy to give her what she wants, or the one who guys
just naturally think is incredibly hot and feminine?
The answer is pretty obvious.
If you need a hint anyway, here's one: When anyone--man or
woman--is on a "mission" to find a companion, that almost always
comes off as self-centered, if not flat-out desperate.
Add to it the layer of "drudgery" I mentioned earlier, and it just
repels the other gender.
Being the "big four" guy I talk about is the essence of
representing to women what they want in a man.
That's why I talk about it all the time in The Master Plan, The
Leading Man, The Man's Approach and all of my other programs as
well. It's THAT important.
He is masculine as women define it, confident, able to make a woman
feel safe and secure in his presence, and has strong character as
his cornerstone.
It's that last one, by the way, that's going to help you check off
all those items on your list regarding what the the right woman
looks like.
When you know what you believe and why you believe it--and you
have the personal power to stick to living your truth--THAT'S when
you keep a woman devoted to you long-term.
...And that's probably after having made a solid decision on which
woman to have accompany you on life's journey.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2024. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
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