[X&Y] How To Make Her Think About You All The Time (And Want More)

Published: Mon, 03/03/25

Updated: Sat, 03/08/25

 

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IN THIS EDITION: You already know that if a woman feels intrigued
by you, you're definitely on the right track. But what does that mean?

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HOW TO MAKE HER THINK ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME


I'm sure you've heard time and again about how being "intriguing"
is a great way to get women turned on.

Great.  But what exactly are we talking about here? 

And assuming you know what it means to be "intriguing", how in the
world do you actually DO that?

Well, first things first.  According to Dictionary.com, the
definition of "intrigue" is as follows:


  "To arouse the curiosity or interest by unusual, new or otherwise
  fascinating or compelling qualities; appeal strongly to; captivate"


Just look at the key words and phrases in that definition:  "arouse
curiosity", "interest", "unusual", "fascinating", "compelling",
"appeal strongly", "captivate".

At the most basic level, if a woman's finds you "intriguing" it
means you've succeeded at being interesting.  

That interest causes her to lock in to you both mentally and
emotionally.  That's the very essence of what being fascinated,
compelled and curious does to a person.

Ever thought about how to get a woman to think about you all the
time?  When she's genuinely and completely intrigued, that's
precisely what will happen.

By definition, there's also the important indication that she
actually LIKES you.  You've "appealed strongly" to her, which
ever-so-subtly indicates that at the very least she's enjoying the
experience of being around you.  

Contrast that, for example, with how a leaky faucet may "compel"
you to fix it.  But doing so won't exactly "appeal to you".
Therefore, you wouldn't really call a leaky faucet "intriguing".

Yes...to intrigue a woman is a good thing.  A VERY good thing.

But now that we know how to define it, how do we actually go about
intriguing a woman's socks off?

That's the tricky part, right?

Well, the most important thing to bear in mind is that if you're
going to arouse curiosity with regard to how different you are,
then you can't be like every other guy she's met lately.

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not at all saying you need to be a social
"non-conformist", have bizarre hobbies and/or dress in weird
clothes.

This isn't about anything like that.

Remember, at all times you've got to make a woman feel
comfortable in your presence.

Yes, I can assure you that if you wear the same jeans and
solid-color polo shirt that every other guy wears then you're
totally throwing water on your ability to intrigue anyone.  So I
can't argue with the simple fact that having some semblance of
personal style is more intriguing than not.

But the much more powerful--and elegant--way to be different in a
positive way is to be more effective at doing masculine things that
turn women on than 99% of other men out there.   

I can double-dog guarantee you that will separate you from the
herd.  

Start with a focus on helping bring out her sensuality as opposed
to trying to get her into bed so fast.  

Relax and put her at ease rather than getting so uptight and
worrying so much about not messing up.

And as Dale Carnegie himself talked about so profoundly, present
yourself as a particularly fascinating conversationalist by talking
LESS and getting her to talk MORE.

Do those sorts of things and you can bet she'll indeed have you on
her mind constantly.  She'll even start talking to her girlfriends
about you.

There's another key reason why it's really rather easy to be
"intriguing" to women...and it's an ironic one indeed.

The crazy truth is that the vast majority of guys are trying too hard
to be intriguing, even though they have NO IDEA how to pull it
off.

You can chalk that one up to basic misunderstanding of what
"intrigue" actually is, combined with our innate reticence as guys
to ever ask someone else for directions.

Dudes therefore tend to prattle on about their cars, their
accomplishments, their diplomas and even their past girlfriends on
first dates...all in an effort to impress women with their "stuff".

Even if some guys actually get around to trusting their own
ability to create attraction rather than depending on a bunch of
props to do the heavy lifting, chances are disproportionately high
that they'll end up blurting out their whole life story over dinner.

The MORE you tell a woman about who you are, what you're about
and what your favorite stuff is the LESS room you've left for curiosity
and fascination.  

In other words, the less INTRIGUE you're going to create.

Imagine that:  Creating intrigue actually requires less effort
than killing it. 

The more detail you leave out (at least for the time being), the
higher the likelihood that she'll be curious, fascinated and in
fact captivated.  See that?

So for instance, if she happens to talk about the semester she
spent in Paris simply relax, sit back and listen to her stories...
even if you've been there thirty times on business yourself.
 
Wait until you hear her mention climbing the Eiffel Tower for the
first time and how scary it was when she found out that the
observation deck at the top is open-air. 

It's at that point you might matter-of-factly state, "Yes, right.
And what surprised me was that the Eiffel Tower is brown.  I think
most would guess it's either silver or black."

You see, most guys would have taken less than five seconds after
she mentioned Paris to blurt out, "OMG!  I've been there a thousand
times!"...all in the name of pouncing on "something in common".

On the other hand, you will have had the self-restraint to let her
go on...only to drop the world's smallest "smart bomb" on the
conversation at precisely the right time. 

By doing so, you'll have succeeded at making her practically NEED
to know more.

And unlike 99% of other guys, it'll all be because you know that
it's intrigue that creates attraction, not "common ground".  Your
wisdom will pay off.

There are a million other ways you can withhold potentially
exciting information about yourself rather than disclosing it too
quickly.  And in each case, self-discipline will pay rich
dividends.

For what it's worth, mastering this very area of self-restraint is
what will turn any man from a needy "approval seeker" into the guy
in those Dos XX commercials in one easy step.  

Consider how much more awe you feel towards anyone who's a
certified badass when you hear about his amazing feats and/or
talents from someone else rather than from his own mouth.  Hmmm...

Importantly, there's another critical way that some men misconstrue
what "intrigue" is actually about, usually causing their efforts to
create it to backfire.

Remember this always:  Whenever you seek to inspire intrigue, the
point is to get her to wonder about YOU, not be left wondering how
you know so much about HER.

For example, if you know her birthday and/or what kind of car she
drove when she was 17 even though she's never mentioned it, you do
NOT want to say so and then keep her guessing how you know that
stuff just for the sake of it.

That's not exactly "creating intrigue".  You might actually call it
"reverse intrigue"...as if you're surprising her with the concept of
YOU being extra intrigued by her. 

That misdirection of mystery, as it were, tends to have disastrous
effects.  Instead of making her want to know more about you, she
gets creeped out and probably thinks you've been stalking her.

Basically she'll feel exposed to your covert informational probing,
which is most certainly the opposite of feeling safe and secure in
your presence.

One final thing to keep in mind is that intrigue can prove to be a
tantalizing first step toward obsession, or even flat-out
addiction. 

It's at the point of obsession where one's interest goes beyond
mere fascination and becomes an all-consuming, raging desire.

Obviously, you'll want to make sure to file the power of intrigue
away accordingly...only using it properly and with extreme caution. 
When a woman becomes full-on obsessed with you, you've got to make
sure that's what you really want and that you're ready for it when
it happens.
 

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