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IN THIS EDITION; Why do single women
go after married guys? Here are five
possibilities.

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5 REASONS WHY SINGLE WOMEN
GO AFTER MARRIED GUYS


It was a recent e-mail from one of you
that inspired this edition of the
newsletter.

The letter spoke of mutual attraction
between the unmarried man who
wrote me and the unmarried woman
of his desire...and the unmarried
woman's inexplicable decision to be
with a married guy instead.

Obviously, if you can relate to that
story you have probably beaten your
head up against the wall in frustration.

But this sort of thing goes on all the
time. So there must be SOME reason
why certain women are attracted to
married men, right?

Here are five possibilities:



1)  THE LIE


We'll start with the most obvious of the
five. Sometimes a woman finds herself
in a relationship with a guy who tells her
he's single, when in reality he's married.

Maybe she's oblivious to the minivan he
showed up to pick her up in, the series
of dates that happen only at lunchtime
and on Wednesday nights between 7
and 9, and/or the wedding band tan line.

Or maybe she just really, really likes him
and is naively hoping for the best.

Or, um...maybe he simply told her that
he's "legally separated". Yeah, that's it.
Which leads us to the next one...



2)  THE PROMISE


This one requires little explanation.

Basically, that bad old ex-wife has it
coming to her, and the guy tells the
girlfriend (aka "mistress") that he'll be "all
hers" in just a little bit more time. She
just needs to be patient and wait for that
day to come. 

Maybe the guy and his wife really are
separated and going through divorce
proceedings...or not.

And maybe the guy really will come
through someday...or not.

No matter what the case may be, it all
falls under this same classification.



3)  THE THRILL


I think you can guess where this one is
going, too.

Women LOVE romance novels, and
one of the recurring themes is "forbidden
fruit".

Indeed, it's human nature to want what
we cannot have, so for some women
there's a certain thrill (as crazy as it
sounds) associated with engaging in
trysts with a married man.

A LOT of women, especially when they
are young and immature, tend to live for
the moment without regard for the future.

Indulging in this kind of thrill seeking
without regard for consequences is a
prime example of how that can manifest
itself.

Could this be a major reason why so
many married guys find themselves with
a younger woman on the side?



4)  THE POWER TRIP


The first three examples I shared with you
of why a woman would get involved with a
married man might go on when she is
decidedly NOT in control of her dating life,
right?

Well now we've come to last two reasons
why some women get involved with married
men. And in both cases, I believe we're
talking about women who are in total control
of their dating lives. 

One such scenario is that a single woman,
unfettered in her own dating life, simply gets
a feeling of power and/or superiority knowing
she can take a man AT WILL from another
woman. 

Perhaps it's that she feels sexually and
socially powerful being able to tempt married
men into weakness.

Maybe she likes achieving "one-upmanship"
over other women in general.

Or, it could be that she deeply resents or
dislikes a certain woman in particular, and
targets that woman's husband.

No matter what the details are, sometimes
it's all about the power trip.



5)  THE CONTROL


This one follows right on the heels of the
last, but with a subtle twist.

Beyond the feeling of power a woman gets
WITHIN by being with a married man, there's
also the undeniable power a single woman
wields over the married guy himself.

Assuming the woman is single, once a
married man enters into a sexual relationship
with her she basically OWNS him...in just
about every way possible.

This is especially true if she has no significant
other in her life that would necessitate a
"reciprocal agreement" with the guy she's
cheating with.

Think about it.  She has a VERY BIG secret
to keep, doesn't she?

Most married guys who allow themselves to
get into such a compromising position as this
probably didn't think things through too well
at the beginning.  At least not with the right
"head".

After all, he's got to be willing to do just about
ANYTHING to make sure she stays quiet and
doesn't make a scene. 

And she just might REQUIRE as much...
which can become a very nice little
arrangement for her.



In case it's not self-evident, any situation
that involves a single woman and a married man
who is in an "open relationship" of some sort with
his wife renders the list above largely irrelevant. 

For the purposes here, we're talking about guys
who are interested in their wives not finding out
about "the other woman".

But regarding the list itself, it's very true that
some of what I just shared with you isn't gender
specific, is it?  We as guys can find ourselves
tempted to get with married women for the exact
same reasons, can't we?

All I can say is DON'T DO IT. 

Believe me, if an NFL quarterback and "local
hero" like Steve McNair can get capped by his
girlfriend (remember that years ago?), how much
more likely are YOU to get shot by a deliriously
jealous husband?

=====





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