Thank you for your excellent question,
Kevin.

In other words, it would be douchey to
go around bragging about how smart
you are and looking for ways to flex your
knowledge.

Women especially roll their eyes at that
BIG time.

It's FAR cooler to simply solve a problem
with your knowledge base when the need
actually arises, and you're called upon.

When I was in college, I drove a '75 Volvo.

It was usually pretty bulletproof, to be
honest.

But I was working at a summer camp far
from home when the car developed a problem
with the rear brakes hanging and dragging.

This was causing excess heat and messing
up my car.

The resident operations director was a
guy in his forties who was remarkably
handy with just about anything, as his job
required.

I made an offhand reference to my
problem, and I'll never forget his
nonchalant response.

"Volvo...what you do is go in town and
find a relatively empty parking lot. Put it
in reverse, get to about 15-20 mph and
slam on the brakes. That will get
everything back in shape for you."

He was absolutely right, of course.

Thrilled, I came back and reported my
success to him. He simply nodded and
said, "That sort of thing is usually caused
by driving a car beyond its normal
capabilities, in case that's helpful."

Having been "busted" in such an al
dente manner was all the more
impressive to me.

He was such a badass with zero flashy
effort. It was probably no coincidence he
had retired from the Navy as a full
Commander.

Now, the truth of the matter is you will get
relatively few offhand opportunities in life
to respond in real time to a real need with
your specific area of knowledge.

But the few times per month or so you
get the chance will deliver massive social
proof...

...Even as other, less mature guys go
around diminishing their status by playing
"Mr. Know-It-All" every day.

It's precisely that wisdom associated with
the social cost/benefit analysis there that
separates the truly cool from the hamfisted
douchebags.
 

It should be noted that if you're in an
established role where people come to
you specifically for your area of knowledge,
you can still be a cool guy by helping others
feel smart instead of treating them like
they're stupid.

We've all probably been to both kind of
doctors before, and also probably have
gone to both kinds of auto mechanics.

But that said, there's nothing quite like
being the man who comes out of nowhere
as "Johnny-On-The-Freaking-Spot" with a
solution, precisely when it's most needed.

One final thought.

The social skill at play here also
incorporates the wisdom to realize how
offering unsolicited advice is just as
douchey as openly bragging about how
smart you are, if not even more so in a
way.

Believe me, I've had to bite my tongue
until it bleeds watching guys out there
screw up their chances with women in
real time.

But were I to butt in and offer "help", it
would have been resented rather than
appreciated.

Chalk it all up to human nature.

Be Good,

=====




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