[X&Y] Don't Fall Into This Trap (Even Though Most Men Do)

Published: Tue, 04/22/25

Updated: Wed, 04/23/25


=====

IN THIS EDITION: By now, you already know
"settling" for less than you want in a woman is
a bad idea. But until now, you've only heard
HALF of the story...

=====



50% OFF GET TOGETHER, STAY TOGETHER


No fluff. No nonsense. Just Emily and I sharing
everything we've got about how to have a great
relationship, live the dream together and be the
envy of all other couples.

You name it, it's covered. That includes just
about everything you haven't even anticipated
yet...because we've LIVED it.

There's no such thing as "divorce insurance",
but this is as close as it gets:



Get Together, Stay Together: 50% Off



And let's face it...isn't it THAT much better to
find the RIGHT woman and have a happy,
fulfilling relationship from the start?

That way divorce isn't ever even a concern.

Get this one, gentlemen. We'll shamelessly
reveal everything your friends won't (or can't)
and everything your parents were too
embarrassed to:



Get Together, Stay Together: 50% Off



I'll also include my classic program The
Leading Man for FREE, which is all about
handling the earlier stages of a new
relationship with a woman.



=====



HOW NOT TO FALL INTO THE TRAP OF "SETTLING"


If you settle for less than a woman who genuinely represents
who you truly want, you aren't going to be a happy man.

Yeah, yeah...I have a "firm grasp on the obvious", right?

But if it's so obvious, why do so many guys end up settling
anyway?

That is a question that came up during a coaching call last
night, and it led to a fascinating discussion.

Essentially, it went something like this...

For starters, we flat-out don't give ourselves permission to
aim as high as we could...or should.

We're told by others not to be "too picky". If we haven't had a
girlfriend for a while, that chorus gets even louder.

So what do we do?

We start thinking maybe they're right. Maybe we should cut
a woman we're not REALLY crazy about a break here and
there.

But let's say you do just that.

If you put her in a room with, say, twenty other women you're
likely to find three or four of the others more attractive.

But hey, at least she's more interesting to you than the other
fifteen or sixteen.

And maybe she's got a bit of an alcohol addiction. Meh.

Or perhaps she tends to rattle on sometimes about how "all
men are the same", etc., etc. Hey, if you're a nice enoug
guy, you'll snap her out of it...right?

Wrong. You're making excuses when you think like that,
or in any other of the ways I just mentioned.

And making excuses = SETTLING.

But what might such a woman you'd be settling for say to
you all the while?

She may be the very first in line to tell you you're "too picky".

She may accuse you of being "shallow" for not seeing past
what you find unattractive.

But in reality, she's only encouraging you to SETTLE.

And you must never, ever cave in to that kind of pressure.

In fact, if you avoid dating women you already know you'd
be settling for, you'll never even subject yourself to that kind
of pressure to begin with.

Yet, so many people out there (men AND women, really)
allow themselves to get roped into relationships with people
they never really preferred to be with.

A lot of times, it has to do with sheer GUILT.

But here it is: Being a martyr doesn't even serve the other
person very well, when you get right down to it.

As such, for the good of EVERYONE involved, GUILT isn't
nearly sufficient enough a reason to settle.

Think of it like this (and what follows might be a heavy point
for you...possibly even one that triggers a very real
breakthrough).

How often do we as guys honestly set out to meet and attract
someone better than we deserve?

By that I mean saying to ourselves, "Look, I know I don't
deserve a great woman. So I'm going to manipulate one
into settling for me."

Face it, going out with the mindset of tricking someone into
SETTLING for you just doesn't compute.

Why not?

Well, for starters to think such would transcend "inner game" to
the point of arrogance. It's unreasonable to expect that you'll
get someone you don't (yet) deserve to "settle" for you.

Heck, most of us have a bad enough time approaching any
woman AT ALL.

Further, and more importantly, even if you could pull off
"hitting the jackpot" like that...it wouldn't be any fun in the
end.

In fact it would be humiliating.

You'd constantly be looking over your shoulder thinking that
some guy who is "more worthy" will win her away from you.

What's more, every time you remember that she'd probably
much rather be with someone else, it's going to feel like
getting castrated.

Simply put, if someone "settled" for you, YOU would be as
miserable--if not MORE SO--than she would.

And that's EXACTLY what goes in the WOMAN'S MIND if
and when YOU SETTLE for someone you don't really crave
a relationship with.

...Except for the castration part, of course. For her we'll just
call it "humiliating" and "nerve-wracking" and leave it at that,
deal?

Had you ever considered the concept of "settling" from the
other side's perspective before now?

We wouldn't want to be "settled for", but we still tend to only
think about the idea from our own perspective...and that's
the only reason why we'd even consider selling ourselves
short and/or giving in to pressure to settle.

The bottom line?  When you SETTLE, you not only cheat
YOURSELF--you cheat THE WOMAN YOU'RE WITH.

The even more profound truth is this.  (Are you sitting down?)

You cheat the woman out there that you REALLY
deserved.

She didn't get to be with the man SHE would have had a
truly fulfilling relationship with (i.e. YOU).

And why not?  Because you led in another, less fulfilling
direction.

Maybe your head wasn't together enough to recognize the
high-level of quality you truly deserved--if only you would have
made even SOME effort to become the "big four" man such
a high-quality woman craves.

Or maybe you PANICKED.  You had a woman in your life
who actually liked you back, so you decided to hold on to her
rather than risk being lonely.

But in your selfishness, you rob not only YOURSELF of a
future relationship with someone who you'll truly appreciate,
you rob HER of the opportunity to meet someone who will
appreciate her more.

After all, your "100 out of 100" woman may not be the same
as someone else's anyway.

And if that's not the "clincher", then I don't know what is.

So be unafraid of becoming the very best version of the
"big four" man you can be.  Don't let anyone tell you you're
being too picky.

When it comes to being philanthropic and giving to charity,
long-term relationships are NOT the place for that.

Work in a soup kitchen or volunteer to help the less fortunate
in some other way.  And team up with the greatest woman
you've ever met when you do.

 

=====





(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2025. All Rights Reserved.


Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.

 
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
 
Check Out The Videos On YouTube And Subscribe

The Mountain Top Podcast...Subscribe And
Leave A Review


This e-mail newsletter is a free service of X & Y Communications.
It is never sent to those who have not asked for it. If you
believe you have been sent this message in error, please use the
link below to remove yourself from our mailing list.
 
 


X & Y Communications LLC
20403 Encino Ledge #591313
San Antonio TX 78259-1313
USA

Unsubscribe   |   Change Subscriber Options