[X&Y] Why Women Love Masculine Men, But Roll Their Eyes At Macho Guys
Published: Fri, 01/03/25
Updated: Fri, 01/03/25
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WHAT'S INSIDE: Is being "macho" really
a bad thing? Not if you know the secret...
a bad thing? Not if you know the secret...
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WHY WOMEN LOVE MASCULINE MEN, BUT ROLL THEIR EYES
AT MACHO GUYS
AT MACHO GUYS
As you know, I harp a lot about igniting femininity. More
specifically, I talk about how the best way to do that is by being
masculine in the way that women define it.
And no doubt, by being a man who has a plan, makes effective
decisions, faces fear with courage and knows how to keep his cool
when the chips are down (among other things) you really do
represent what women want most in a man.
Typically, I contrast this idea with "machismo".
Being "macho", at least generally speaking, is the concept of doing
what it is that we as guys do to impress each other.
You know what I mean.
Being a connoisseur of great beer and/or being able to drink more
of it than your buddies is a classic example.
Getting together with fellow mountain bike enthusiasts and playing
in the mud. Barbecue contests. Chirping the tires when catching
third gear.
Well, today I want to set the record straight about something.
Even though I focus on the difference between masculinity as
women define it and machismo, there's NOTHING wrong with
doing guy stuff just for the sake of it, even if it's not exactly the
kind of activity that attracts women per se.
That's right. Not everything you do in life has to serve the
express purpose of impressing women.
I mean, even once you have a great woman (or several) in your
life, you're still going to need to hang out with your friends and do
what you enjoy in that context.
We like our time away from women every once in a while.
Getting out on a Saturday morning for a round of golf comes to
mind. In fact, did you know that some still hold to the belief
that the word "golf" itself originated as an acronym for "gentlemen
only, ladies forbidden"?
So, of course, all of this demands an answer as to why women
tend to COMPLAIN so much about guys acting all "macho".
I mean, if it's all good for us to engage in "macho" stuff after
all, why do women always seem to roll their eyes when they see
us doing so?
On the surface it really looks like women just don't want to admit
that we're not like them.
Well, not so fast.
The actual answer to what's going on here is a bit different...but
still very simple, nonetheless.
Show me a woman who openly shows disdain for guys acting like
guys around each other and I'll show you (drum roll...) a woman
whose femininity hasn't been ignited.
The mistake we tend to make, you see, is misdirecting our
"macho" activities and mindsets toward women instead of toward
each other as guys.
This isn't exactly going to make her hot for us. After all, being
macho has ZERO to do with emphasizing sexual polarity.
Think about it from our perspective as guys.
It's the things a woman does that represent joy, beauty,
playfulness and her ability to provide comfort that turn us on.
It's not the fact that she reads tabloids. She's better off
talking to her girlfriends about what the A-list celebs have been
up to.
And if she wants to go shoe shopping, she's more than welcome
to leave you at home.
But what if all she did was hit us up to partake in all of that
with her? We'd get bored with her pretty fast.
No kidding, right? The "girlie" stuff isn't impressive to us
either, just like "macho" stuff isn't to her.
But there's another more important reason a woman might be
openly resentful of the "macho" stuff we do with our friends.
If we prioritize those things while giving minimal (if any)
attention to igniting her femininity, she feels trivialized or even
left out altogether.
It's as if our friends (or even ourselves) come before meeting
her needs as a woman.
She might even believe we aren't at all about keeping her best
interests in focus.
And THAT, my friend, means she might not feel so safe and
secure around you, which by now you know is a major
"big four" blunder.
About a year ago a guy called me because his marriage was on
the rocks. Despite being an amazing provider and a man of
considerable ambition, his wife had grown more and more
openly resentful over the years.
He had let his ambition take over all else, taking him away from
his family quite a bit and allowing his business matters to
monopolize his thoughts.
As it turned out, he and his wife didn't even sleep in the same
bed anymore.
In the garage, all the while, was a certain Porsche 911 Turbo
convertible.
This man's wife hated that car with a passion every bit as
hot as its Guards Red paint job.
In her mind, that car was a cheap substitute for HER.
Whenever he stepped on the accelerator, she surmised that
to be tantamount to sexual excitement. Hell, the car was
even shaped like a woman.
So you can imagine the guy's surprise when I told him that
had he prioritized igniting his wife's femininity over all else,
she would have likely had no problem with the car.
In fact, she may have given it to him as a Christmas present...
wrapped up in one of those big bows like you see in the TV
commercials.
You see, once a woman's femininity is ignited by your
representation of masculinity as she defines it, the eye rolling
regarding any of your "macho" pastimes on the side will flat-
out STOP.
Sure, she may kid you about them. But she'll no longer resent
them. In fact, she may support what you do.
THAT'S why you can go to softball games and certain guys'
girlfriends are cheering them on.
THAT'S why some guys' wives buy them new sets of golf clubs
for Christmas.
In fact, when you first succeed at portraying masculinity in the
way a woman defines it, she tends to even LIKE the fact that
you have some macho pastimes reserved for your friends.
You see, your time away with friends gives HER the occasional
break from YOU to go sip chocolate martinis or to see some
chick flick at the theater with HER friends.
And since she's not taking personal offense to feeling slighted
or left out, she starts seeing you as having that kind of exciting
life that we all know is attractive to women.
So in a way, doing "macho" things CAN make your more
attractive to a woman, albeit in an indirect manner.
Isn't that something?
In effect, she's ready to celebrate the fact that you're a man in
every way...all because you prioritized what creates sexual
polarity when interacting with her.
And here's the crazy part.
If all is well in the universe, she'll have ignited your
masculinity as effectively as you have taken care of her.
As a direct result, you just might look forward to seeing how she
looks in the new pair of shoes she bought.
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