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WHAT'S INSIDE:  Even if you wisely avoid "dinner and a movie" first
dates, there's going to come a time where you crash at your place
(or hers) to watch a flick.  You'd better make sure it's the right
one...

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=====



5 KEYS TO CHOOSING THE RIGHT DATE MOVIE


You've heard me say loud and clear that ye olde "dinner and a
movie" is a TERRIBLE plan for a date...especially a first meeting
with a woman.

Nothing could be more unimaginative and generic, leaving the woman
to project those undesirable traits onto YOU.  

Disastrous.

Even worse, such a plan creates a lot of "date pressure", all
without really leaving any room for 1-on-1 interaction.

But when it comes to hanging out with a woman at either your place
or hers, there's a pretty good chance that you're going to end up
firing up Amazon Prime and watching a movie at some point, right?

Absolutely.  

In fact, that's a perfectly cool idea if you just want to hang out
casually on a weeknight, if you've gotten back early from an event
or--yes--if you've cooked dinner for her.

Unfortunately, however, most of us as guys wing it when it comes
to this sort of thing.

But you don't have to.  Nor SHOULD you.

So here are five key things to keep in mind when selecting a great
"date movie":




1)   Keep The Subject Matter Lightweight


This means it should probably be funny...at least sometimes.  

It's not that it's uproariously funny, it just has funny moments.
The genre collectively known as "romantic comedies" often works
well here.

A "romantic comedy" is not to be confused with a "chick flick".
You don't have to watch "Beaches" or "Ya-Ya Sisterhood" with a
woman to make her happy.  

In fact, you'd better NOT.  Such movies will entertain her, but
they won't necessarily get her to think romantic thoughts.
 
Moreover, she may actually get a bit self-conscious knowing you're
probably pretty bored with the flick.  And when she's not comfortable,
you're not being a "big four" man.

What you're looking for here is a "feel good movie". 

And in this context, "feel good" means A LOT more than just a happy
ending...although that's a CRUCIAL element.

After all, you definitely want to make sure the ending isn't
catastrophic or depressing.  If both of you are bummed out after
watching it, she might just want to go home and cry in private or
something immediately after it's over. 

Not good.

But equally important here is the fact that SHE needs to "feel
good" throughout the process of watching it.

Women who are happy and instilled with a healthy measure of "warm
fuzzies" tend to be affectionate.  And isn't that what you want? 

Of course it is.

This means that violent "blood and guts" scenes are to be weeded
out as are any emotionally heart-wrenching sequences.

Rape, death, destruction, terrorism, world wars, creepy stalkers,
chainsaws, Ray Liotta and Gary Busey are all to be avoided. 

Now hey, we as guys love action adventure movies and goofball
comedies for sure. 

And I'm NOT discounting that there are certain tomboyish and/or
goofball chicks who'll gladly watch those respective types of
movies with us. 

But there are WAY better choices if you want her to get frisky with
you...always.
 


2)   Make Sure There's Some Element Of "Boy Meets Girl"


You want to set the mood, right?  Well then, let's face it.  Going
the "direct route" really can't be beat. 

Pick a movie that features a classic love story...especially an
interesting one that takes all sorts of twists and turns before
resolving itself at the end the way we all wanted it to.

Man, this is like PURE GOLD with women.  That's why "romantic
comedies" are God's gift to you when it comes to date movies.

When a woman allows herself to get completely immersed in the
story, she starts to FEEL what the female lead in the movie is
feeling.  When it ends well in the MOVIE, she's going to want it to
end well in REAL LIFE.

Believe me, women REALLY DO love the idea of having a great excuse
to make out with you.  Why not give them a really good one? 

This may seem obvious when put into plain English, but be honest:
Have you ever REALLY thought of it in logical terms like that?



3)   Both The Male And Female Lead Should Be Desirable


This one could come as a bit of a surprise to you.

After all, your first normal, red-blooded thought here may be, "Oh
sure...she's going to get all hot for George Clooney and forget I'm
sitting here beside her."

Or maybe you're thinking more along the lines of, "Man, if I pick a
movie with Jennifer Lopez in it, she's going to think I picked it
just for that reason and get all jealous or something."

If either of those two ideas crossed your mind, get over yourself.

The simple truth is that women are typically on a completely
different train of thought when watching a movie...at least if
they're healthy.

They're not sitting there comparing the two of you to the two of
them physically. 

But they ARE comparing the two of you to the two of them
romantically. 

Look, if she's sitting there alone with you at your place watching
a movie with you, she's already attracted to you.

The simple formula at play here is this.  If she finds the couple
on screen HOT, she's going to want to do hot things with YOU. 

And here's another hint:  If you do things that are like the male
lead in the movie, that's what she's really looking for.  She
doesn't need you to look like him, per se.

Welcome to how women allow themselves to get "warmed up".  And
again,  believe me...they indeed take great enjoyment in the process.

This doesn't mean you mimic his exact words or actions in the
movie, of course.  That would be silly.  It's the general VIBE of
what he did to be a "Big Four" man that you'll do well to follow. 

And make no mistake about it.  If he's a Hollywood leading man who
gets the girl, it's very likely indeed that he portrayed a "big
four" man in the movie.



4)   It's Got To Be A Normal Length


If the movie is around the standard two hours in length, that's
great.  If it's more like an hour and a half, even better.

Why is this important?

Because you may not have all night, that's why...especially on a
weeknight where one or both of you have to go to work the next
morning.

If she comes over at 8 or 9 and the two of you get all wadded up in
"Titanic" or "Dances With Wolves", then it's going to be midnight
or 1 am (!) before the flick's even OVER.

How awkward is it going to be if she has to split during the middle
of the movie?

Worse, what if you're out of time for anything other than the movie
once the credits are rolling?

Here's the deal. 

If the movie is any good whatsoever, you're barking up the wrong
tree if you're thinking that watching it together with a bowl of
popcorn and her head on your shoulder is going to degenerate into a
wanton sex fest just as the plot is thickening.

In fact, if you push for that sort of thing, you might as well take
out a Sharpie, write a note that says, "desperate, impatient guy
who doesn't get it", and tape it to your forehead.

Might it happen naturally during the course of the flick under some
circumstances?  Maybe...but if it does make sure it's HER idea.

Generally speaking, you'll have a WAY better chance of flowing into
friskiness AFTER the movie ends. 

If the sexual tension has been built all along, you'll be kissing
her once those credits start rolling instead of saying "goodnight".

Um...as long as it's still relatively early.

Save the "epics" for the weekends, or for when you know each other
better.



5)   Be Sure To Watch It First, Ahead Of Time


This is perhaps the single most important step, yet the one that's
overlooked most often.

And hey, that's understandable.  After all, it's kind of nice to
watch a movie for the first time together.

But trust me on this. There can be NO surprises when it comes to
date movies.

Don't kid yourself.  You can't trust the "PG-13" rating and you can't
trust Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore,

Even watching the trailer is often of no help whatsoever. 

These Hollywood guys are infamous nowadays for giving you
relatively little on what the movie is really about before you
actually watch it, right?  

The trailer usually contains a bunch of one-liners and exciting
special effects.

In the "real world" of watching the movie itself, it's flat-out
amazing how rabbit-like sex scenes come out of nowhere when you're
sitting next to the blondie you met at church three days ago.
Sheesh.

And, of course, there's nothing like finding out on the fly that a
central theme of the movie is EXACTLY what she's most insecure
about in life. 

Or how about this?  What seemed from the trailer like a "feel good"
movie actually holds a gorilla-rape scene in store...or everyone dies
at the end, like in "The Notebook".

Whatever.  No thanks to the writers for surprises like that. 

In fact, here's a hint:  Be especially wary of movies that are
based on books. 

Authors of novels generally have little regard for the couples
who'll be planted on couches together watching the movie version of
their magnum opus someday.  Think about it.  It's pretty true.




OK, I have a confession to make.  I almost added a sixth bullet
point.

I was going to suggest that you NOT pick a movie that everyone has
seen before a hundred times.  You know, like "Coming To America",
"The Wedding Singer", or "When Harry Met Sally".

After all, that would demonstrate that you have ZERO creativity...all
the while boring the poor woman to tears because she's going to be
too "nice" to tell you she's seen it already.

BUT...then again, if you've both seen the movie a few times, what's
to stop you from going ahead and launching into a furious make out
session 45 minutes into the flick?

I mean, if you feel the time is right, you could even SAY, "Hey...let's
be honest.  Have you seen this movie like a hundred times?" 

When she giggles and nods "yes", you say, "Maybe it's time to add a
new scene..."  

She'll purr something to the effect of, "Definitely!"  From there,
it's on.

So far be it from me to discount the hidden potential of worn-out
"romantic comedies".   But all other factors being equal, I'd skip
'em.

Have fun picking date movies, but as I've said in the past be VERY
CAREFUL not to lapse into a rut of just laying around watching
movies with women. 

Be sure to get out of the house most of the time and do exciting
stuff together in that big world out there.

As for some recommendations, some of my personal favorites are
"Garden State", "Serendipity" and a few relatively obscure ones like
"Return To Me" with David Duchovny, "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend" with
Alyssa Milano and one with Robert Downey called "Heart And Souls".  

Those have never failed, but by all means find some gems of
your own.  In fact, when you happen across a particularly perfect
one, OWN A COPY of it.  You never know when the net is going to
be down.

With a movies in your library and this list of key points in your
back pocket, you'll always be prepared.

=====





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