[X&Y] How To Deal With Her Sexual Past [By Request]
Published: Fri, 06/20/25
Updated: Mon, 06/23/25
=====
WHAT'S INSIDE: You've met a great woman,
but questions about her sexual past are eating
you up inside. Here's how to handle it...
=====
SEX IS ONE OF THE LIFE'S GREATEST
PLEASURES...ARE YOU MISSING OUT?
It's been said that "all sex is good sex".
But whoever said that wasn't very good in bed.
I can GUARANTEE you he didn't know how to give
women the pleasure they really crave.
Behind Closed Doors grants you almost
instant superpowers in the bedroom
You'll discover how to spot women who are amazing
in bed BEFORE you even talk to them.
Then, I'll show you how to be amazing in bed for her.
From there, I've invited every major sexpert to
join me, each covering their specific area of genius.
You'll get ways to give women amazing pleasure,
how to engage in "mental foreplay", and how to
perform "erotic hypnosis"...plus MUCH more.
This is also the program featuring the ONLY guy
out there writing literotica books for women.
This real-life "Christian Grey" is basically writing
autobiographical works every time he puts pen to
paper. Find out how he does it, even without the
billions of dollars...then go and do likewise.
I've re-activated the "bcd50" coupon
coupon for half off. It's automatically applied at
checkout...but only until tomorrow night at midnight:
50% Off Behind Closed Doors + Bonuses
Plus, you'll get both Steps To Sex and the add-on
program Beyond Closed Doors as bonuses.
If you've had your eye on this program for some time,
now is your chance to get it.
Once this coupon expires, it won't be coming back
for quite a long time...no exceptions.
=====
Several of you have requested recently that I talk about this
But yes...this is, like Ron Burgundy, "kind of a big deal" for most
guys.
Let's face it, even with how society has evolved in recent decades
we as guys tend to hold fast to the notion that we would like any
woman we enter into a long-term relationship with to have had as
FEW previous sexual partners as possible.
In fact, many guys would prefer she be a virgin.
Now, if you happen to be marrying your childhood sweetheart who
you've been dating since 7th grade, that might be a reasonable
expectation.
Before we get too far into this, then, if you're a virgin and have
already met a great woman who is also and are planning to get
married, fantastic. I'll talk to you next time, because what I'm
covering today is NOT for you.
Still with me? Okay...good.
And by the way, if you're still reading you're not alone.
You see, first of all most of us nowadays don't exactly want to get
married when we're 15 or 16. We'd like to graduate from school and
And second, if you're in your early twenties or older--which most of
us are--it's completely unreasonable that you should expect to marry
a virgin.
Are there some women out there who are indeed virgins into their
late twenties or even thirties? Of course there are.
But my point is that you should not expect that level of chastity
even from the highest quality woman.
For an attractive woman to get through high school, college and
early adulthood having exercised ultimate sexual restraint is a
flat-out unfair expectation.
I might add that this is the case whatever her religious beliefs
are.
And it goes without saying that if you're in your late thirties or
older and are perhaps dating after divorce, it's wholly
unreasonable to burden yourself with thoughts of a woman's
sexual past.
After all, you just might find yourself relating best to women
who've also gone through a divorce.
Sorry to be the one who breaks this to you, but it's safe to say
that every woman out there who is divorced is probably NOT a
virgin.
In fact, what with all the water under the bridge they've VERY
Human beings are sexual creatures, and when presented with sexual
opportunities over the course of our adult lives you just can't
hold it against someone to give in to a "weak moment"...or five...or
twenty.
And the more years we've been on this Earth as "single and
available", the more "weak moments" (and/or even steady
relationships) there will be.
Man or woman. Guilt or no guilt.
Interestingly enough, many of us as guys don't hold NEARLY as high
standards for ourselves as we do for the woman we'd like to marry.
Notice I'm talking about marriage in context here.
Ironically enough, many guys think in terms there being at least
two kinds of women: Women we'd marry, and women we'd just like to
have a fling or two with.
This is where the infamous Madonna/Whore Complex comes into play.
Either she's "pure" (and therefore "marriage material"), or she's,
well...a slut. There really is no middle ground, per se.
This imposes an immense amount of pressure on women everywhere, of
course.
Welcome to why you're not likely to get an upfront, truthful
account of a woman's sexual past from her--or anyone else, for that
matter.
And there's a positive correlation between that simple fact and the
level to which a potential serious long-term relationship hangs in
the balance.
This leads to the question as to whether or not we even should ask
about her past.
My strong inclination is that it's a bad idea. Ultimately, it can
only lead to an argument...even (and perhaps especially) if she IS,
in fact, a virgin and YOU aren't--or vice-versa, naturally.
What's the big problem here? Why are we SO hung up on this stuff?
Well of course, there's the default reason. Getting cheated on by
a woman we're faithful to is the ultimate humiliation.
So we worry if a woman would cheat if she's had lots of sexual
experience in the past. I mean, if she's already used to it, why
would she stop?
But on the other hand, we find TONS of comfort in knowing she
hasn't been promiscuous
For what it's worth, we seldom give any thought to that question's
relevance to ourselves, do we? We trust ourselves once we're
smitten by the woman of our dreams, right?
Anyway...let's move on.
Some would say this very same concept is tied to how soon after
meeting us a woman is willing to have sex.
As I've said before, it doesn't HAVE to be that way in order for a
healthy relationship to ensue. Mostly, it happens when a woman
fears being judged negatively for her sexuality...by her boyfriend.
So congratulations, guys. As it turns out we've created that whole
problem for ourselves.
Chalk that up as at least ONE good reason why we should park ye
olde Madonna/Whore Complex at the door.
But certainly it all goes much deeper than that.
For starters, consider how competitive we are with each other as
men.
We can't stand the thought of some other guy having "had our woman".
But have you EVER stopped to consider how that competition cuts
both ways?
If you end up in a long-term relationship with a great woman you've
got her in your life whereas all other guys before her couldn't
keep her around.
In other words, you've WON and they've LOST.
So ultimately, a weird irony exists.
While YOU might be busy fretting about some other guy your woman
has slept with in the past, it's altogether possible that HE'S out
there frustrated because YOU ultimately ended up with her instead
of him.
Then again, he MAY indeed be thinking, "Yeah, well...I banged your
wife, dude."
But YOU could counter that by instead thinking as I've suggested
above: "I ended up with the greatest woman ever...which no other guys
were able to do."
particularly if you haven't been with HIS--the only real difference
is mindset.
As it turns out our problems really are all in our heads...at least
to some extent.
Do you see yourself as having won or lost? Why not give yourself
AND her a break here?
But there's yet another dark corner of this whole issue that we'd
do well to shine some much-needed light on.
Sometimes our competitive nature is pointed not so much at other
guys the woman in our life may have been with, but rather more
directly at her instead.
Huh? What do I mean?
Let me spell it out for you.
Sometimes when we have NOT had a whole lot of sexual experience
ourselves, our disdain toward the amount of sexual experience our
girlfriend has had is more of a function of pure jealousy than
anything else.
Basically, now that there's an impending monogamous long-term
relationship afoot, we harbor a thinly veiled resentment of the
fact that she's been able to enjoy more sex with more people than
we will ever partake of.
Oddly, few guys who actually experience these feelings are ever
able to come to grips with the truth that's driving them.
We prefer to think we're upset because we've "behaved ourselves"
and she hasn't...which is unfair in our minds.
But make no mistake. If YOU are a virgin and the woman you are
marrying is NOT, the crushing thought in your head is quite
possibly driven by jealousy.
Hey, I don't know. Maybe you have legitimate reason to be upset
that she didn't "save herself for marriage" like you have.
If you find yourself relating to this scenario, here's a quick test
to tell the difference either way...and it's important that you're
honest with yourself.
In the back of your mind, would you feel much better if you could
"even the score" before getting married?
If so, then it's time to check yourself. Your feelings are NOT her
fault...and they're actually potentially dangerous to the long-term
success of your relationship.
We've covered a lot of ground here today, gentlemen. But here's
the bottom line.
Women are human beings just like we are, and they're inherently no
better or worse than we are based on their particular level of sexual
experience.
So it's ridiculous to continue judging them as if there's a
legitimate double standard.
Kill the insecurity and the jealousy and realize that when a
woman's crazy about you, SHE isn't necessarily thinking about her
past sexual experience in a positive light either.
If you're a "big four" man she'd likely trade all of that for a
more richly satisfying sexual experience with you.
The best news of all is that if you can have a reasonable and
mature outlook on precisely what we've talked about today, you'll
be MUCH better equipped to give her exactly that.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2025. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
but questions about her sexual past are eating
you up inside. Here's how to handle it...
=====
SEX IS ONE OF THE LIFE'S GREATEST
PLEASURES...ARE YOU MISSING OUT?
It's been said that "all sex is good sex".
But whoever said that wasn't very good in bed.
I can GUARANTEE you he didn't know how to give
women the pleasure they really crave.
Behind Closed Doors grants you almost
instant superpowers in the bedroom
You'll discover how to spot women who are amazing
in bed BEFORE you even talk to them.
Then, I'll show you how to be amazing in bed for her.
From there, I've invited every major sexpert to
join me, each covering their specific area of genius.
You'll get ways to give women amazing pleasure,
how to engage in "mental foreplay", and how to
perform "erotic hypnosis"...plus MUCH more.
This is also the program featuring the ONLY guy
out there writing literotica books for women.
This real-life "Christian Grey" is basically writing
autobiographical works every time he puts pen to
paper. Find out how he does it, even without the
billions of dollars...then go and do likewise.
I've re-activated the "bcd50" coupon
coupon for half off. It's automatically applied at
checkout...but only until tomorrow night at midnight:
50% Off Behind Closed Doors + Bonuses
Plus, you'll get both Steps To Sex and the add-on
program Beyond Closed Doors as bonuses.
If you've had your eye on this program for some time,
now is your chance to get it.
Once this coupon expires, it won't be coming back
for quite a long time...no exceptions.
=====
HOW TO DEAL WITH HER SEXUAL PAST
Several of you have requested recently that I talk about this
subject, and sifting through back issues of this newsletter it
occurred to me that I've never addressed it fully.But yes...this is, like Ron Burgundy, "kind of a big deal" for most
guys.
So it's time to go for it.
Let's face it, even with how society has evolved in recent decades
we as guys tend to hold fast to the notion that we would like any
woman we enter into a long-term relationship with to have had as
FEW previous sexual partners as possible.
In fact, many guys would prefer she be a virgin.
Now, if you happen to be marrying your childhood sweetheart who
you've been dating since 7th grade, that might be a reasonable
expectation.
Before we get too far into this, then, if you're a virgin and have
already met a great woman who is also and are planning to get
married, fantastic. I'll talk to you next time, because what I'm
covering today is NOT for you.
Still with me? Okay...good.
And by the way, if you're still reading you're not alone.
You see, first of all most of us nowadays don't exactly want to get
married when we're 15 or 16. We'd like to graduate from school and
maybe enjoy the single life for a while before settling down.
And second, if you're in your early twenties or older--which most of
us are--it's completely unreasonable that you should expect to marry
a virgin.
Are there some women out there who are indeed virgins into their
late twenties or even thirties? Of course there are.
But my point is that you should not expect that level of chastity
even from the highest quality woman.
For an attractive woman to get through high school, college and
early adulthood having exercised ultimate sexual restraint is a
flat-out unfair expectation.
I might add that this is the case whatever her religious beliefs
are.
And it goes without saying that if you're in your late thirties or
older and are perhaps dating after divorce, it's wholly
unreasonable to burden yourself with thoughts of a woman's
sexual past.
After all, you just might find yourself relating best to women
who've also gone through a divorce.
Sorry to be the one who breaks this to you, but it's safe to say
that every woman out there who is divorced is probably NOT a
virgin.
In fact, what with all the water under the bridge they've VERY
often gotten over the whole idea of presenting a "pure" image
long before YOU have, so you may as well not expect it.Human beings are sexual creatures, and when presented with sexual
opportunities over the course of our adult lives you just can't
hold it against someone to give in to a "weak moment"...or five...or
twenty.
And the more years we've been on this Earth as "single and
available", the more "weak moments" (and/or even steady
relationships) there will be.
Man or woman. Guilt or no guilt.
Interestingly enough, many of us as guys don't hold NEARLY as high
standards for ourselves as we do for the woman we'd like to marry.
Notice I'm talking about marriage in context here.
Ironically enough, many guys think in terms there being at least
two kinds of women: Women we'd marry, and women we'd just like to
have a fling or two with.
This is where the infamous Madonna/Whore Complex comes into play.
In the male mind, it's hard for us to not think in terms of black
and white on the issue of a woman's sexual history.
Either she's "pure" (and therefore "marriage material"), or she's,
well...a slut. There really is no middle ground, per se.
This imposes an immense amount of pressure on women everywhere, of
course.
Welcome to why you're not likely to get an upfront, truthful
account of a woman's sexual past from her--or anyone else, for that
matter.
And there's a positive correlation between that simple fact and the
level to which a potential serious long-term relationship hangs in
the balance.
A woman you're serious about knows you don't want to hear the
truth, no matter what it is...unless the "number" is ZERO.This leads to the question as to whether or not we even should ask
about her past.
My strong inclination is that it's a bad idea. Ultimately, it can
only lead to an argument...even (and perhaps especially) if she IS,
in fact, a virgin and YOU aren't--or vice-versa, naturally.
So let's get down to brass tacks here, as we say in Texas.
What's the big problem here? Why are we SO hung up on this stuff?
Well of course, there's the default reason. Getting cheated on by
a woman we're faithful to is the ultimate humiliation.
So we worry if a woman would cheat if she's had lots of sexual
experience in the past. I mean, if she's already used to it, why
would she stop?
But on the other hand, we find TONS of comfort in knowing she
hasn't been promiscuous
For what it's worth, we seldom give any thought to that question's
relevance to ourselves, do we? We trust ourselves once we're
smitten by the woman of our dreams, right?
Anyway...let's move on.
Some would say this very same concept is tied to how soon after
meeting us a woman is willing to have sex.
Oftentimes, a woman will withhold sex for quite a while if she
sees long-term potential there. As I've said before, it doesn't HAVE to be that way in order for a
healthy relationship to ensue. Mostly, it happens when a woman
fears being judged negatively for her sexuality...by her boyfriend.
So congratulations, guys. As it turns out we've created that whole
problem for ourselves.
Chalk that up as at least ONE good reason why we should park ye
olde Madonna/Whore Complex at the door.
But certainly it all goes much deeper than that.
For starters, consider how competitive we are with each other as
men.
We can't stand the thought of some other guy having "had our woman".
But have you EVER stopped to consider how that competition cuts
both ways?
If you end up in a long-term relationship with a great woman you've
got her in your life whereas all other guys before her couldn't
keep her around.
In other words, you've WON and they've LOST.
So ultimately, a weird irony exists.
While YOU might be busy fretting about some other guy your woman
has slept with in the past, it's altogether possible that HE'S out
there frustrated because YOU ultimately ended up with her instead
of him.
Then again, he MAY indeed be thinking, "Yeah, well...I banged your
wife, dude."
But YOU could counter that by instead thinking as I've suggested
above: "I ended up with the greatest woman ever...which no other guys
were able to do."
Notwithstanding the legitimately sticky one-up situation where
one of your friends has been with your wife in the past--andparticularly if you haven't been with HIS--the only real difference
is mindset.
As it turns out our problems really are all in our heads...at least
to some extent.
Do you see yourself as having won or lost? Why not give yourself
AND her a break here?
But there's yet another dark corner of this whole issue that we'd
do well to shine some much-needed light on.
Sometimes our competitive nature is pointed not so much at other
guys the woman in our life may have been with, but rather more
directly at her instead.
Huh? What do I mean?
Let me spell it out for you.
Sometimes when we have NOT had a whole lot of sexual experience
ourselves, our disdain toward the amount of sexual experience our
girlfriend has had is more of a function of pure jealousy than
anything else.
Basically, now that there's an impending monogamous long-term
relationship afoot, we harbor a thinly veiled resentment of the
fact that she's been able to enjoy more sex with more people than
we will ever partake of.
Oddly, few guys who actually experience these feelings are ever
able to come to grips with the truth that's driving them.
We prefer to think we're upset because we've "behaved ourselves"
and she hasn't...which is unfair in our minds.
But make no mistake. If YOU are a virgin and the woman you are
marrying is NOT, the crushing thought in your head is quite
possibly driven by jealousy.
Hey, I don't know. Maybe you have legitimate reason to be upset
that she didn't "save herself for marriage" like you have.
If you find yourself relating to this scenario, here's a quick test
to tell the difference either way...and it's important that you're
honest with yourself.
In the back of your mind, would you feel much better if you could
"even the score" before getting married?
If so, then it's time to check yourself. Your feelings are NOT her
fault...and they're actually potentially dangerous to the long-term
success of your relationship.
We've covered a lot of ground here today, gentlemen. But here's
the bottom line.
Women are human beings just like we are, and they're inherently no
better or worse than we are based on their particular level of sexual
experience.
So it's ridiculous to continue judging them as if there's a
legitimate double standard.
Kill the insecurity and the jealousy and realize that when a
woman's crazy about you, SHE isn't necessarily thinking about her
past sexual experience in a positive light either.
If you're a "big four" man she'd likely trade all of that for a
more richly satisfying sexual experience with you.
The best news of all is that if you can have a reasonable and
mature outlook on precisely what we've talked about today, you'll
be MUCH better equipped to give her exactly that.
=====
(c) X & Y Communications LLC, 2025. All Rights Reserved.
Forward this newsletter to a friend, and help
build this worldwide movement of over 100,000
men reclaiming their masculinity, standing as a
positive role model and deserving the high
quality women we want.
The Definitive Facebook Group For Men
Check Out The Videos On YouTube And Subscribe
The Mountain Top Podcast...Subscribe And
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