[X&Y] What To Do If She Says You're "Not Her Type"
Published: Tue, 01/06/26
Updated: Tue, 01/06/26

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IN THIS EDITION: Sometimes a woman we
like won't like us in return. We may feel
rejected, but is that really what happened?
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WHAT TO DO IF SHE SAYS YOU'RE NOT HER "TYPE"
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NOTE: Today's Snippet From The Summit
is about YOUR "type" of woman. Check it out:
https://mountaintoppodcast.com
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So you get the nerve to approach a woman, introduce yourself, and
maybe even have a scintillating conversation.
But when you get around to the part where it's time to make plans
with her, you hear the following: "I'm sorry, but ...you're just not
my type."
You feel rejected. After all, she definitely was your type, but
you got no interest from her in return.
Conventional wisdom would dictate that you somehow messed up.
You were too "nice", or too nervous, or not masculine enough to
ignite her femininity.
You may even wonder to yourself if you somehow creeped her out.
Well sure, it's a good idea to run through the file cards asking
ALL those questions.
But what if your "game" checks out? What if you're all but certain
you got everything right?
You could really start beating your head against the wall. But
guess what the issue might really, truly be?
It might be that, um...you're just not her type.
That's right. You didn't do anything wrong. You're not at fault
here.
Now admittedly, scenarios like this are particularly unnerving if
you're not exactly used to approaching a lot of women.
It can be disarmingly easy to believe that a woman whose boat you
don't float is actually speaking for ALL women.
But even if some chick is rude enough to say something to that
effect to you, PLEASE rest assured that nothing could be further
from the truth.
Here's the deal. I'm on record with my personal opinion that over
half of the women on any given list of the "100 Hottest Women On
Earth" (or similar) do absolutely NOTHING for me.
Tons of other guys have told me the same thing.
That's because if your "type" happens to be "girls next door",
petite cuties, "librarian" types or anyone BUT leggy supermodels
with fake boobies, frankly, your opinion is going to be sorely
under-represented by the likes of FHM and Maxim.
And that's okay.
Uma Thurmann and Heidi Klum probably couldn't care less that I
have no idea what any man sees in them. That's because my
opinion decidedly does NOT speak for every other man on Earth.
Not every woman can be my type, nor can every woman be your
type.
So why do we have such a honkin' difficult time accepting that
women are wired just like we are in that regard?
Go ahead. Accept it. It'll be okay...and here's why.
The bottom line is that any human being's taste in MOTOS
(members of the other sex) just might make ZERO sense to
anyone else.
Try this sometime. Get women to talk about famous guys--movie
stars, musicians, sports figures, etc.--they're attracted to. Then
watch in amazement as they totally disagree with each other.
What they say will often surprise you. I've heard preposterous
things. One young woman I know told me she "carries a
huge torch" for Bob Ley from ESPN. Bob Freaking Ley, of all
people. If you don't know who he is, Google him.
Some will like long-haired hippies and others will like "emo"
dudes.
It might be big, barrel-chested guys with scruffy beards or rail-
thin guys in skinny jeans.
Others will rattle off a list of men who turn them on who
ostensibly have NOTHING in common with each other.
I remember there was one woman I dated who was genuinely
crazy about me, but her "celebrity crush" was Rasho Nesterovic,
the Slovenian center for the Toronto Raptors at the time.
The guy is seven feet tall. Go figure.
Yeah, sure...the man who might have the highest percentage of
what I'll call "sexual favor" from women just might be that generic,
"Ken doll" kind of guy.
That's because there's no reason not to like him. He's generic.
He's a default choice.
But here's what I've found. Even when women actually do go
out with "Generic Handsome Guy", they generally get bored.
I know more guys like that than I can count who can't get second
dates.
So don't think for a second that you'd rather be that guy than the
best, most authentic version of who you really are.
The simple truth is that in this life anyone or anything that tries
to appeal to everyone usually ends up appealing to nobody.
If everyone approves of your "message", it's probably not honest,
groundbreaking, edgy, intriguing or exciting enough. If you get
no complaints whatsoever, it's probably because your deal (or
yourself) is just straight-up bland.
You can't be attractive to every woman. But the best news ever
is that you most likely don't want to be anyway.
Be that unique guy who stands out, making it easy for the
women who crave your "type" make themselves known.
Their passion toward you will be much greater than any "Generic
Handsome Guy" will ever experience.
Mark my words on that.
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