[X&Y] Weird Secret To Keeping A Woman Interested

Published: Tue, 09/16/25

Updated: Tue, 09/16/25



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IN THIS EDITION: Acting out on most
song lyrics wouldn't serve you well in
real life. Here's a key exception...

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NOT YOUR TYPICAL SOURCE FOR
SOLID ADVICE ON WOMEN, BUT
OKAY...


I'll admit to holding some strong opinions
on how completely wussified song lyrics
are these days.

But I wanted to be sure to give equal
time to at least one example of a song
that has a fairly solid take on life.

Years after Smokey Robinson cried
"The Tears Of A Clown" (even as chicks
threw underwear at him on stage anyway),
a certain southern rock band in the early
'80's had this take on women instead:


  "Hold On Loosely" by .38 Special (1981)


  You see it all around you
  Good loving gone bad
  And usually it's too late when you
  Realize what you had

  And my mind goes back
  To a girl I met some years ago
  Who told me

  Just hold on loosely but don't let her go
  If you cling too tightly
  You're gonna lose control
  Your girl needs someone to believe in
  And a whole lot of space to breathe in

  It's so damn easy
  When your feelings are such
  To overprotect her
  To love her too much

  And my mind goes back
  To a girl I met some years ago
  Who told me

  Just hold on loosely but don't let her go
  If you cling too tightly
  You're gonna lose control
  Your baby needs someone to believe in
  And a whole lot of space to breathe in


There you have a good plan for showing
just enough interest in a woman without
giving your power away, huh?

And you've got to appreciate the apparent
irony of how the male songwriters
perpetrated like it was actually a woman
giving the advice.

It's as if that would somehow make the
song's message more credible, even
though we all know that in real life women
seldom articulate what they really want
from a man with such clarity.

It's all weirdly similar to what goes on in
Shakespearean plays like "Twelfth Night"
where a man plays a woman disguised as
a man.

But anyway, I wanted to be sure to give a
shout out to at least one rock and roll song
that got it right.

If you can think of other good examples,
by all means write me at:

scot@deservewhatyouwant.com

For what it's worth, "Cherry Pie" by
Warrant won't count.

And hey, there's one more minor detail
before I wrap this up.

Lest I be reminded of it by one of you,
I'll be the first to acknowledge that .38
Special is unfortunately the same band
that's also responsible for this shocker:


  So caught up in you, little girl
  You're the one that's got me down on
  my knees

  (from So Caught Up In You by .38
  Special. 1982)


Man, that hurts. And that came out a
year after "Hold On Loosely", no less.
They should have known better.

All I can say is you wouldn't have caught
Molly Hatchet writing lyrics like that.
 

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