[X&Y] Trouble-Free Relationship?

Published: Tue, 09/30/25

Updated: Tue, 09/30/25



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IN THIS EDITION: Can it be possible that
Emily and I have such a terrific relationship,
or am I "blowing smoke"?

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TROUBLE-FREE RELATIONSHIP?


Scot,

You make your marriage sound almost mythical.

What troubles do you really have? Have you gone
through any extremely difficult times yet, like a
death or some sort of devastation together?

How do you know when trouble comes it will stay
like this blissful movie you portray?


Thanks,

Greg




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Thanks for writing, Greg. You ask fair questions.

There aren't a lot of truly happy couples out there, so
how can you be sure Emily and I are "the real deal"?

And what assurance is there that we'll continue to be?

Is it reasonable to expect happiness from marriage at
all
nowadays?

After all, several well-known dating coaches have
been married and divorced since we started
writing newsletters back in 2005 (some multiple times)
and yet they're still advising others.

Others have gotten into long-term relationships, made
babies and broken up without ever having been married
at all.

Needless to say, they rarely inform their respective
audiences about all the drama.

Truth be told, Emily and I may STILL be the only truly
happy married couple out there teaching this stuff AND
"walking the talk".

If anything, we're among very few.

I'm certainly not overjoyed about that. I wish there
were others...many, many others.

But nevertheless, that's why other famous dating
coaches hire me to coach them on choosing a
great woman and relationship management.

It's the same reason why we have so many testimonials
from men and women who've found the love of their
lives, and are still in happy relationships years later.

Obviously, we've only been here a little under twenty
years, so we're going to have to see how everyone's
doing 20 or 30 years from now, right?

But the trend is clearly there. What we teach is
what we live, and it works.


In fact, guys who've come here for a Ten-Plus Live
weekend have met both of us and seen us in action.

So then, what's the secret?

Well, it all starts with this, Greg.

When you deserve what you want AND marry the right
woman things tend to go WAY better from the very start
than they do for most couples.

Those are BY FAR the two biggest "X-factors" at play
here.

Welcome to why I harp on them both so much...because
I know the sheer POWER of them.

And that's why I've devoted my life purpose to helping
other people achieve great relationships as well.

Now, to address your most pressing question directly,
Emily and I get our fair share of challenges in life,
believe me.

I'm not going to go public with what those challenges
have been, as it wouldn't serve any constructive
purpose to bore you with them.

But importantly, we tend not to create those challenges
for each other. As such, when they come up we're a
team and we tackle them together.

I will say this, also. There's a direct correlation between
making good decisions and fewer bad things happening.

The wiser you get, the better "luck" you tend to have in
this life. Nevertheless, there's no denying that stuff
happens sometimes anyway.

But you see, that's where I look at even your baseline
assumption differently than you do.

In my mind, were something truly devastating to
happen, I believe Emily and I would become even
closer
rather than be torn apart by it.

That's because our relationship has been built on
a firm foundation of mutual concern and respect
rather than the shifting sands of "what can I get from
the other person?"

The former mindset is that of a true partnership.
Partners tend to gain energy by doing the right thing
for each other, and by being there for each other
when times get tough for everyone.

Meanwhile, the latter is basically a business
transaction. And it's when things are no longer fun
or profitable that men and women who form
couples on that premise bail on each other.

The bottom line remains that when a man and a
woman represent the "big four" for each other
they can stay crazy about each other indefinitely.

And make no mistake, ultimately it's that fourth
component--character--that delivers the real
"secret sauce" with regard to lasting power in a
relationship.

Even extreme challenges make that bond stronger
rather than weakening it.

 

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