[X&Y] Can You Tell Whether She's Attracted To You Or Not?

Published: Wed, 04/22/20



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WHAT'S INSIDE:  If she likes you, why doesn't she just SAY so?

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WHAT TO DO IF YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHETHER SHE IS
ATTRACTED TO YOU OR NOT


Most guys report that they have a rough time accurately interpreting
a woman's attraction signals. 

This is probably because we consider ourselves to be all about
seeing things in "black and white", whereas women tend to be
creatures of subtlety, at least when it comes to showing interest in
a man.

Let's camp on that thought for a brief moment. 

Most of us as guys automatically assume that women are creatures of
subtlety in general because that's what we've been taught to believe.

But I invite you to eavesdrop on a conversation a woman is having
with the customer service department somewhere when things aren't
going as she expects them to.

Or better yet, go to your local supermarket around mid-morning on a
weekday and observe how moms deal with their pre-school aged
children.

They're about as subtle as a lightning bolt.

No kidding, right?

The truth is that women can be every bit as overtly blunt as men can
be.  And similarly, some men can operate with the kind of subtle
finesse that is usually credited to women.

So subtlety, as it turns out, is neither a masculine or feminine trait,
per se. 

So what gives, then?  How come women tend to be so invariably
subtle in the context of showing signs of interest toward a man
they are romantically attracted to?

The answer is pretty simple. 

First, women are super conscious of their social status as "ladies".
 
Most of them view being branded a "slut" is the social kiss of death,
for better or worse.  So they aren't going to just throw themselves
at you.  

You're going to have to make it clear that you welcome their
affection, and that they can feel safe and comfortable in your
presence. 

Will you protect their reputation or expose them to potential
social harm?

Further, women know you don't really want them to come right out
with a blatant expression of interest.

Someone just said, "What?  Are you KIDDING me?  I'd LOVE for
women to be 'all over me' without having to make the first move."

Show me a guy who thinks that, and I'll show you a guy who doesn't
have a whole lot of practical, real-world experience with women
throwing themselves at him.

We may think we'd like that--and may even flat-out dream about
it--but the truth is that when reality comes knocking we tend to
get turned off by women who are so "forward", don't we?

This factor is ironic in itself, considering we as guys tend to feel that
way even if we usually wimp out from approaching women and
progressing things ourselves at all.

But when faced with the opportunity we previously dreamed of, we
quickly realize that appearing needy and even desperate is a
universal turnoff.  It's not gender specific.

The two reasons for women's subtlety in expressing interest in you
are both valid. 

But there's another factor, and this one is far more significant than
even the other two.

Most of all, women tend to be subtle when showing interest because
when it comes to matters of attraction and dating, they want YOU to
man up and take the lead.

That's because your bold leadership literally turns them on sexually.

They want you to make the first move.  After all, a man should have
a plan and be able to make decisions.  Subtlety may not be a
gender-specific trait, but those sure are.

Women know this, and they want to see those horniness-inducing
masculine traits in you.

In other words, they want you to ignite them MORE, not LESS.

So naturally, when you don't make that all-important bold move to
act on mutual attraction, the woman is left with a choice to make.

Either she will finally make that move herself, or she'll keep waiting
...and keep hoping...that you'll do something...anything.

That's why a woman who likes you will drop subtle hints, but will
wait it out until the bitter end to be forward with you.

And the irony?  When that time finally comes, it's a "bitter end"
indeed.  She probably has lost all attraction for you by that time
anyway, and may even be frustrated about it.

Because here it is:  Were she to decide that she needs to take up
the masculine on your behalf and make the move, she'd lose
attraction. 

Even when a woman is aggressive enough to have the guts to
make a first move toward you, she'd rather not.  It's like a last resort. 

And know this. 

Let's assume you do somehow end up with a few women in your life
who nutted up on your behalf and made the first move when you were
too timid to.

And let's also assume they somehow remain attracted to you, at least
to some degree.

You surely can't depend upon that forever, or you'll end up only with
women who selected you, right? 

And when you don't select the women YOU want in your life, you
settle.  And when you settle, everyone loses...even the women in your
life.


 
 




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