[X&Y] How To Turn A Bad Break Into A Breakthrough

Published: Wed, 05/06/20


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IN THIS EDITION:  I remember the day everything changed like it
was yesterday.  All it took was one big decision followed by one
small, simple e-mail...

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HOW TO TURN A BAD BREAK INTO A BREAKTHROUGH


It was a Saturday morning back in August 2004.  One of the state
qualifier BMX races was on, and as usual my friends and I were
planning to blow off a little steam by playing in the dirt. 

Unfortunately, my plans were about to change.

I made a wrong move somewhere in practice and heard a loud SNAP.
Immediately I knew it was my left ankle.

Before I knew it, I was at the hospital.  That's where I got the
news that an orthopedic surgeon had been called in and they were
going to have to operate.

One day and several hot nurses to ease the pain later, I got in my
truck and went home.  Only now I had plates and screws in my left
leg and a cast that wouldn't be coming off for at least eight weeks.

Interestingly, having immersed myself in studying how to get better
with women, it had only been maybe a week since I had gotten back
online for the first time in quite a while.

Now, with my doctor having ordered bed rest, I actually had five
days of forced, immobilized "vacation" to work on my Match.com
skills.  I had plenty of time on my hands to email lots of women.

There was only one problem. 

In my mind, I was "damaged goods".  I mean, what woman in her
right mind was going to want to hang out with some guy who is
hobbling on crutches for the next two months?

So with my newly minted "limiting belief" tightly installed, I
figured I had nothing to lose really as far as writing women was
concerned.  After all, I wasn't going to be meeting any for at
least the next eight friggin' weeks, right?

I'll never forget how dejected I felt.

On top of all else, anyone who knows me well realizes I can't
sit still in one place long enough to watch a movie, let alone
deal well with five days of bed rest.

Thankfully, I had two things going for me. 

First, I had a laptop with wireless Internet. 

Second, The Olympics were going on, and I'm a big fan.  That
meant there was always something cool to watch on TV.

I'm eternally grateful to this day for both of those things.
Otherwise, I'd have gone nuts.

But it only took half a day for me to get utterly bored with my
existing profile and typical first emails.  The wheels began to
turn, and it occurred to me I could add some excitement to my
bed-ridden life by mixing stuff up a bit.

So I decided to put some theories I'd been reading about to the
test.

I'd been hearing about how the "Mr. Nice Guy" thing doesn't work. 
I'd also been reading about how a man has to have a sexual
presence in order to naturally attract women.

For my entire life, however, I'd been conditioned to believe that
women are offended or even oppressed by male behavior.  And I'd
always thought that any kind of sexually forward behavior was an
affront to women.

So that night, I took a deep breath.  With my left leg raised on a
pile of pillows, and Paul Hamm winning the men's all-around
gymnastics gold, I changed my profile.

And by changing my profile, I changed my life.

The first line became, "Men are men, and women are women.
That's the way it should be and that's the way I like it.  If you
agree, keep reading."

The way I saw it, there was to be no more groveling.  No more
trying to please everyone.  If women out there really wanted a man
to be direct and frankly a little blunt, I was about to find out for sure. 

Next, I added a line that at the time I thought was sure to scare
away every woman out there.  Yet, as skeptical as I was, I had to
try it.

The advice I had read was to be unafraid of showing my sexual side.

The new line read, "I believe a woman should be kissed correctly
and kissed often."

My heart rate increased as I hit "save" on the profile. 

Once approved (which still took about half a day back then), I
started writing women.

I sorted out the feminine, petite cuties with pretty smiles and focused
on them.  After all, that's who I tend to like.

The results floored me.  Women were not only responding, but
powerfully.

One green-eyed sweetheart with light brown pixie-like hair and a
sundress wrote me the one e-mail that forever cured me of my "Mr.
Nice Guy" and "Mr. Neuter Guy" thinking.

The subject line was "WOW!" and in the message she wrote:
 

 
   I'm so glad you wrote me. 
 
   I got to the line in your profile about "being kissed
   correctly and often" and my heart fluttered. 

   YES!  I'm a girlie-girl through and through and I would
   LOVE to meet a real man for a change! 

   Call me, 

   Kerri :0)

   (210-XXX-XXXX)



Within a half hour we were talking on the phone.

Two major limiting beliefs down, one to go.  How would I tell her I
was in a cast for two months?

The conversation was going great.  She had a sweet, feminine voice
and a kind heart.  Finally, it was time to talk about meeting in
person.

I told her, "Look, there's something you need to know.  I just broke
my leg, I'm on bed rest for five days and I'm in a cast for two months."

She responded with the expected "OMG...are you okay?" kind of
stuff, but what she said next is what shook me to the core.

"OK, so the five days of laying around the house must be so boring.
Why don't I take you out on Friday night...my treat?  We can
celebrate your being able to get out of the house again!"

"Um...what about the crutches and stuff?", I said.

"What's the big deal?", she replied.

There wasn't one to her.  Only to me.

Friday night we went out and had a blast.  She was even more
adorable in person than she was in her pictures.

Dinner turned into a jazz club, which turned to staying out all
night, against the typical good advice to "leave a woman wanting
more" by ending the first date early.

At one point, contrary to my doctors orders, I ditched the crutches
and got around on my steel-reinforced left ankle as well as I could.

By the end of the night, she was jokingly calling me "Superman".
She loved how I didn't let a temporary hindrance get in the way of
having fun.

She indeed also loved being kissed correctly and often.

And what do you know?  There was a second date.  And a third.
And my leg healed up okay anyway.

Kerri and I ended up hanging out for months and months.

Ultimately, it was I who decided she wasn't the right one for me
long term.

Guys, it's obvious from all of this that being a man, being unafraid
of positioning yourself as a sexual presence and, of course,
confidence really, really do work like magic with women.

And whatever your hang-ups are, it's likely there are women out
there who DO NOT share them with you.  So it's time to heave them
out the window. 


 
 




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