[X&Y] You Think Women Want This, But They Absolutely Do Not

Published: Sat, 05/30/20



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IN THIS EDITION:  Do you really have to make sure every last one of
your self-perceived "sticking points" is handled in order to go out
with amazing women?   Here's what a reader has to say...

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READER QUESTION:  YOU THINK WOMEN WANT THIS, BUT
THEY ABSOLUTELY DO NOT



Hi Scot,
 
I'm real interested to hear your take on this.
 
I am a 50 yr. old man, who has been out of the dating scene for a
while. I am ready to get back in, but I have been suffering from
some thyroid issues that make me extremely tired at times.

I have always been a robust guy, been active and athletic.  I am
otherwise in great shape for my age.

What I am concerned about is I want a woman who is active, but
until I get my health challenge handled, I probably wont be able to
keep up with that kind of woman.
 
Should I wait until my health turns around before dating so that I
can deserve what I want?  Or should I go ahead and date now and
mention my situation only to women who I date more than a couple of
times?
 
This is a bummer because there are times when even a low-key date
like dinner and walking around a mall can wear me out.
 

All the best,

Milo  (Glendale, California)




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Hello Milo, and thanks for writing.
 
I hear stories similar to yours often. What you're struggling
with is common to almost everyone, at least generally speaking.
 
It's human nature for us to "wait out" our excuses until they're all
perfectly handled before dating again. 

Well, that's the last thing you really want to do.. 

There will ALWAYS be some limiting belief.  As soon as one
is conquered, another one is likely to sprout up in its place.

But the more subtle reason is sometimes what we think are
major issues really aren't so much to women.
 
I clearly remember telling myself shortly after my divorce that I
needed to cut 30 pounds before I could expect to date.  It took a
few months to do that, and true to my "limiting belief" I didn't
date during that time. 

Women indeed enjoyed my company when I did start dating, so I
initially felt pretty good about having waited. 

But the crazy thing is that I ended up gaining the weight back (no
thanks to focusing on my social life at the expense of eating right
and working out, which is another newsletter altogether)...and I
didn't see any less interest from women. 

If anything they were MORE interested, probably because of what I
had learned in the interim about how to understand what they're
really looking for in a man and how to create attraction.

I also remember thinking that no woman would EVER want to go
out with me once she found out I had a "crazy ex-wife".  But lo and
behold, that never fazed any of the women I met in the least.

In fact, imagine the connection Emily and I enjoyed when we
realized that our respective exes were actually on the same
medication.  Go figure.
 
So yes...get back out there and meet some women.  The last thing
any woman expects you to be is "Mr. Perfect".  Guys who come off
like that give women the creeps anyway.

Exactly when you choose to tell them about your situation is
dependent upon each individual scenario, I'd say.  But I would
agree with your suggestion that it's not first-date conversation.

Nothing medical is.
   

Be Good,

Scot McKay




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