[X&Y] Leggy Supermodels Vs. Former Gymnasts

Published: Sat, 06/13/20


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IN THIS EDITION:  When a woman talks about what she likes or
dislikes in a man, can we take what she's saying at face value...or
do women really have no idea what they want in a guy?

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LEGGY SUPERMODELS VS. FORMER GYMNASTS


Lots of guys believe we shouldn't take dating advice from women.  

"After all", so the story goes, "they have no idea what they really
want."

This fascinates me.

On one hand, I fully get how this sentiment would come about.

After all, there are quite a number of lady "dating gurus" teaching
women how to trick guys into relationships.  That comes from the
stereotypical belief that all of us as men "only want one thing", and
it's not a relationship.

And, of course, there's the age-old meme that women want "nice
guys", when every "nice guy" out there has been slapped with the
"Just Be Friends" talk ad nauseam.

Then there's the annoying tendency of nearly all women in the
world to tell men who are struggling to get a girlfriend to "just be
themselves".  Great.

But on the other hand, I question whether an entire gender can
fully and consistently wander around the desert aimlessly, having
no Earthly idea what it wants out of MOTOS (members of the other
sex).

Ultimately, I DO think women are perfectly capable of recognizing--
and articulating--what they want in a man.

No doubt, if you've been hanging out here for more than a month or
so, it should be obvious to you that I value women's opinions as
such.

After all, I've never been shy about inviting "lady gurus" to sit in with me
to talk shop on the podcast.

So yes, based on what I've seen, what women tell you they want in a
man will indeed bear itself out in reality...USUALLY.

Ha...got you there, didn't I?

But careful.  We shouldn't be so quick to paint women as uniquely
fickle and clueless in this area, either.  The same sometimes holds
true for us guys also, doesn't it?

Regardless of gender, one's taste in MOTOS is not exactly as
objective as we'd hope.

Consider, for example, how you may have spent your youth
daydreaming of getting a tall, leggy supermodel of a blondie in
your life someday, only later to find yourself with a 5'1 former
gymnast with raven black hair.   

And you may indeed have been thrilled by that outcome.

Or maybe you always thought you wanted a woman who wasn't
exactly a shrinking violet, until you actually found yourself in a
relationship with a woman who challenged your every thought.

Then you reconsidered.

And see, that's the thing:  Man or woman, I believe there are two
very distinct areas where our opinions on what we want or don't
want in MOTOS is very much subject to change.

The first is when our preference is built on pure fantasy rather
than objective experience (read: "reality").

A petite woman may SAY she wants a man who is 6'4".  And when
she gets in a relationship with such a guy, she MIGHT be blissfully
happy.

Then again, she MAY discover that there are some aspects of that
arrangement she hadn't thought through ahead of time.

Or perhaps there's a guy (or three) out there who just crested the
"Big Four-Oh" and is jonesing for an 18- or 19-year-old girl to
date (yes...I said "girl").   

Show me a man who longs to date 'em that young, and I'll often show
you a guy who HASN'T done so.   

Why?  Well, because if you're a mature guy and you ever go out
on a date with a teenager you'll likely end up thinking that someone
should be paying you to babysit, that's why.
 
By the way, as an aside here, note that a TON of limiting beliefs
commonly found on both sides of the gender ledger are often driven
by pure fantasy, as impressed (or is that "imposed"?) upon the
general population by today's media-driven culture.  

Crazy isn't it?

But moving on, the second instance where what we SAY we want
from MOTOS is subject to change is when an exceptional human
being comes along who breaks the mold.

You see, even if objective experience has crafted a very real,
genuine preference in us; we just cannot logically dismiss the
possibility--however remote we see it--that the right person is
going to come along who challenges every thought, opinion
and yes, experience we've ever had.

After all, we as human beings are individuals.  And with that
individuality comes the wonderful, magical ability for any person
at any given time to exceed the capacities of our imaginations.

So let's say you have a specific type in mind, and along comes a
woman who breaks every blasted rule you have for who you're
typically attracted to and compatible with...or the subjective ones,
at least, right?

Are you settling if you select her?  Of course not.  You simply
raised the bar in a way you never expected...and in a way that only
a certain, magical woman ever could.
 
By the way, make no mistake:  No matter what YOUR limiting belief
is, as long as you are a "big four" man doing the best with what
you have, there are women out there for whom YOU will be a magical
exception also.
 
Does that sound Pollyanna-ish to you?

It's not.  As sure as YOU have found yourself attracted to women
without logical explanation, YOU can indeed defy logic in a woman's
mind.

Count on it.

So finally then, what about when you really can expect a woman to
know exactly what they're talking about when it comes to their
taste in a man?

Well, essentially, that would be every time other than those
instances I've presented above.

For example, if a woman has been out with her fair share of guys, I
think she is speaking from a position of authority when she tells
you what will and will not lead to a second date with her.  

"Magical exceptions", after all, are NOT common.

I think it's especially important to recognize that when either you
OR a woman express a like or dislike for a very clear, objective
thing, it should be taken at face value.

To dismiss someone's sentiments toward that which IS black and
white is essentially to either utterly disrespect someone's common
intelligence and/or to stick your head in the sand due to personal
insecurity and or flat-out stubbornness.

So yes, when you say you don't like women who are raging
alcoholics, I think it's a safe assumption to believe you mean
it...at face value.

And yes, when a woman says she'd rather a guy man up, pick up the
phone and call her rather than hiding behind a bunch of text
messages, I think it's a safe assumption that she meant that too.  


 
 




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