|
=====
IN THIS EDITION: When a woman talks about what she likes or dislikes in a man, can we take what she's saying at face value...or do women really have no idea what they want in a guy?
=====
IT'S ALL RELATIONSHIPS
Dating, marriage, divorce...and workplace dynamics, social circle, career building and entrepreneurship, too.
Even learning to use the power of your voice.
When you get down to it, it's ALL about relationships.
Men who work with me improve their fortunes with women, for sure.
But that may be after they finalize a divorce that has been dragging in the legal system first.
And they may improve their relationships with bosses and coworkers. They often get promoted.
Or their new business not only finally gets off the ground, it takes off.
If you want to level-up ALL of your relationships in life, putting me to work for you gets it done. And I guarantee results.
All the info is here:
Scot McKay Coaching
=====
LEGGY SUPERMODELS VS. FORMER GYMNASTS
=====
Interested in more on this subject?
Check out this Snippet From The Summit
=====
Lots of guys believe we shouldn't take dating advice from women.
"After all", so the story goes, "they have no idea what they really want."
This fascinates me.
On one hand, I fully get how this sentiment would come about.
After all, there are quite a number of lady "dating gurus" teaching women how to trick guys into relationships. That comes from the stereotypical belief that all of us as men "only want one thing", and it's not a relationship.
And, of course, there's the age-old meme that women want "nice guys", when every "nice guy" out there has been slapped with the "Just Be Friends" talk ad nauseam.
Then there's the annoying tendency of nearly all women in the world to tell men who are struggling to get a girlfriend to "just be themselves". Great.
But on the other hand, I question whether an entire gender can fully and consistently wander around the desert aimlessly, having no idea what it wants out of MOTOS (members of the other sex).
Ultimately, I DO think women are perfectly capable of recognizing--and articulating--what they want in a man.
No doubt, if you've been hanging out here for more than a month or so, it should be obvious to you that I value women's opinions as such.
After all, I've never been shy about inviting "lady gurus" to sit in with me to talk shop on the podcast.
So yes, based on what I've seen, what women tell you they want in a man will indeed bear itself out in reality...USUALLY.
Ha...got you there, didn't I?
But careful. We shouldn't be so quick to paint women as uniquely fickle and clueless in this area, either. The same sometimes holds true for us guys also, doesn't it?
Regardless of gender, one's taste in MOTOS is not exactly as objective as we'd hope.
Consider, for example, how you may have spent your youth daydreaming of getting a tall, leggy supermodel of a blondie in your life someday, only later to find yourself with a 5'1 former gymnast with raven black hair.
And you may indeed have been thrilled by that outcome.
Or maybe you always thought you wanted a woman who wasn't exactly a shrinking violet, until you actually found yourself in a relationship with a woman who challenged your every thought.
Then you reconsidered.
And see, that's the thing: Man or woman, I believe there are two very distinct areas where our opinions on what we want or don't want in MOTOS is very much subject to change.
The first is when our preference is built on pure fantasy rather than objective experience (read: "reality").
A petite woman may SAY she wants a man who is 6'4". And when she gets in a relationship with such a guy, she MIGHT be blissfully happy.
Then again, she MAY discover that there are some aspects of that arrangement she hadn't thought through ahead of time.
Or perhaps there's a guy (or three) out there who just crested the "Big Four-Oh" and is jonesing for an 18- or 19-year-old girl to date (yes...I said "girl").
Show me a man who longs to date 'em that young, and I'll often show you a guy who HASN'T done so...even when he was that age himself.
Why? Well, because if you're a mature guy and you ever go out on a date with a teenager you'll likely end up thinking that someone should be paying you to babysit, that's why.
By the way, as an aside here, note that a TON of limiting beliefs commonly found on both sides of the gender ledger are often driven by pure fantasy, as impressed (or is that "imposed"?) upon the general population by today's media-driven culture.
Crazy isn't it?
But moving on, the second instance where what we SAY we want from MOTOS is subject to change is when an exceptional human being comes along who breaks the mold.
You see, even if objective experience has crafted a very real, genuine preference in us; we just cannot logically dismiss the possibility--however remote we see it--that the right person is going to come along who challenges every thought, opinion and yes, experience we've ever had.
After all, we as human beings are individuals. And with that individuality comes the wonderful, magical ability for any person at any given time to exceed the capacities of our imaginations.
So let's say you have a specific type in mind, and along comes a woman who breaks every blasted rule you have for who you're typically attracted to and compatible with...or the subjective ones, at least, right?
Are you settling if you select her? Of course not. You simply raised the bar in a way you never expected...and in a way that only a certain, magical woman ever could.
By the way, make no mistake: No matter what YOUR limiting belief is, as long as you are a "big four" man doing the best with what you have, there are women out there for whom YOU will be a magical exception also.
Does that sound Pollyanna-ish to you?
It's not. As sure as YOU have found yourself attracted to women without logical explanation, YOU can indeed defy logic in a woman's mind.
Count on it.
So finally then, what about when you really can expect a woman to know exactly what they're talking about when it comes to their taste in a man?
Well, essentially, that would be every time other than those instances I've presented above.
For example, if a woman has been out with her fair share of guys, I think she is speaking from a position of authority when she tells you what will and will not lead to a second date with her.
"Magical exceptions", after all, are NOT common.
I think it's especially important to recognize that when either you OR a woman express a like or dislike for a very clear, objective thing, it should be taken at face value.
To dismiss someone's sentiments toward that which IS black and white is essentially to either utterly disrespect someone's common intelligence and/or to stick your head in the sand due to personal insecurity and or flat-out stubbornness.
So yes, when you say you don't like women who are raging alcoholics, I think it's a safe assumption to believe you mean it...at face value.
And yes, when a woman says she'd rather a guy man up, pick up the phone and call her rather than hiding behind a bunch of text messages, I think it's a safe assumption that she meant that too.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
|
