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WHAT'S INSIDE: Could it be true that by "settling" for women you don't really want could actually be fueling rejection? And can you even call it "rejection" at all in those cases? Read on...
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DO YOU KEEP ATTRACTING THE WRONG WOMEN?
If so, I've got your back.
Take five minutes out on a Saturday morning to get the basics:
YouTube Video + FREE Goodies
When you click that link above, you'll basically get a five-minute example of what the Masterclasses For Men are like.
There's method to my madness, of course. I'm confident that five minutes will leave you wanting more.
If you find that's the case, you can click on the banner right below the video to get the complete Masterclass TODAY on avoiding the wrong women and choosing the RIGHT one instead.
Immediate gratification. No waiting. Gotta love it.
Oh, and by the way...there are links on that same page to both The Mountain Top Podcast and a free copy of my first book Deserve What You Want.
What can I say? I'm in a generous mood this morning.
YouTube Video + FREE Goodies
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For what it's worth, I talk to WAY too many of you guys who have never heard the podcast before.
Give it a listen. If you like these newsletters, you'll LOVE the show.
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RIDICULOUS REJECTION
I've written before about how we as guys sometimes reject women we actually LIKE.
As crazy as that sounds, it can happen when the "too good to be true factor" kicks in and we feel as if we need to kick her out of our life before suffering what we feel is "inevitable" rejection from her...even if we really, truly liked her.
Call it a "pre-emptive strike", if you will.
Sound silly? You bet it is. We humans tend to do all sorts of bizarre things when we suffer from lack of confidence and/or low self-esteem.
But check it out. I've been on two separate coaching calls lately where a similar but slightly MORE twisted version of this concept has come up in conversation.
Let me show you how it works.
Let's say a guy starts dating a woman. He thinks she's okay, especially at first, but after a few dates it's abundantly clear to him that she isn't exactly his "100 out of 100".
In fact, she may be barely hanging on in the attraction department...even to the degree that our hero might even be reticent to be seen in public with her by his friends.
Well, any self-respecting "big four" man (confident, masculine as women define it, able to make a woman feel safe in his presence, strong character) would recognize that he has options and give her the "just be friends" talk, right?
After all, there's another guy out there who's going to appreciate her more than he ever will.
But unfortunately, that brings us back to the simple fact that not all of us are where we need to be in the self-confidence and self-respect department.
Therefore, either because the guy DOESN'T perceive himself to have any other options--or worse, because he can't stomach the idea of putting up with an "emotional response" from the woman--he quietly soldiers on in the relationship.
THEN, here's what often happens in short order: SHE breaks up with HIM.
Now see, it's how a guy who put himself in this situation tends to perceive that irony that's most important in this conversation...so listen up.
Remember, we've already established that only a guy who's lacking options (and therefore confidence) would probably even keep a woman around who he's not really so into.
And it's precisely that frame of mind--structured around poverty rather than abundance--that would cause him to think the following:
"What? Even SHE rejected me? And geez...she wasn't even all that great! I must be a TOTAL LOSER."
Right here, right now, you may see that as a completely logical conclusion to make.
But there's something you're forgetting.
Women, even if on the opposite end of the sexual polarity spectrum, are still HUMAN BEINGS. Therefore, they indeed have the tendency to process situations using the same combo of logic and emotion as we do.
So guess what? Realistically speaking, instead of having been "rejected" by a woman who wasn't even up to his standard, the woman may have left BECAUSE she wasn't who he really wanted...and she KNEW it.
That's right. The "pre-emptive strike" was on HER PART this time.
Two can play at that game, right?
After all, if a guy's just hanging around for no good reason other than convenience, fear of the break up, etc. I think a woman can FEEL THAT. It's an unfulfilling, if not flat-out humiliating situation for her to be in.
So rather than deal with the frustration any longer, it's HER who flashes the peace sign and moves on.
It's not HIM who has been "rejected". It's HER who sees "rejection" coming and bails out in this instance.
"Now wait a second", you may be asking. "That seems perfectly reasonable for her to do, given what the guy is thinking. Didn't you say that the men's version you wrote about before WASN'T reasonable?"
That's a good and valid question.
Remember, I'm all about helping YOU as a guy avoid mindsets that will poison your success with women.
So in the context of this newsletter we've talked about a guy's potential "pre-emptive rejection" of women he actually LIKED compared to his potential feeling of "rejection" when a woman he DIDN'T LIKE pulls the plug on him.
Both of those scenarios are indeed unreasonable, and should be recognized and -as I trust I've effectively empowered you to do.
But in the reverse situation to each of those respective cases it's completely rational to break up with someone.
In other words, if a woman finds herself with a guy she knows isn't "feeling it" for her, she is absolutely RIGHT to blow him off like a rusty muffler. The problem is HIS, not hers...like we've outlined above.
That's actually solid self-esteem in action (and yes...it's based on the same combo of logic and emotion available to you as a "Big Four" man).
AND...a woman who is sent away by a man who suffers from the "too good to be true factor" shouldn't feel "rejected". After all, the only offense SHE committed was being too wonderful for him to bear.
So neither should YOU feel "rejected" if a woman with low-self esteem thinks you're "too good to be true" and/or can't seem to handle the thought of you genuinely appreciating her...and runs away from you.
So revolves the world. What a tangled web we weave, huh?
What's the solution to avoiding all of these plot complications, then?
It's disarmingly simple: Go after women you actually like, instead of pre-programming yourself to "settle".
How do we ever let ourselves "settle", anyway?
Man, it's all too easy. We go to a club and begin with a few "warm up sets" or whatever. Then we end up with the first woman who showed interest...as if by default.
Or, we go out on a first date with a woman, and even though we're squarely "on the fence" about her we'd rather ask her for a second date than deal with the awkwardness of telling her we aren't interested.
Yeah, well...just remember not to feel "rejected" when that woman says, "Thanks, but no thanks" anyway, right?
I mean, let's face it...that's what she SHOULD do, when you get right down to it.
When you go after women you really want, the women you really want tend to really feel wanted. That tends to end well for both of you.
So stop beating around the bush and give the women you like the kind of appreciation from a "big four" man they deserve.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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