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IN THIS EDITION: Are you truly allowing women to bestow upon you all the amazing things they'd really LIKE to?
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NICK MET THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS, AND SO WILL YOU
Nick had been reading the newsletters for ages and finally decided to do a Ten-Plus coaching program with me, as he had been thinking about for a while.
Let's just say his results exceeded his expectations, and fast.
Here's what he sent me:
"I can't thank you enough for all the knowledge that you shed upon me. I learned so much from you in the many conversations we had that you just can't put a price tag on.
I never had a hard time attracting women in my life, but when it came to finding the *right* woman, that's where I had my troubles.
You helped me to start thinking differently about what I really wanted. This allowed me to really raise my standards and not just settle for anyone anymore.
After just a few months of talking in depth to you about what I really wanted, I met my perfect *100 out of 100* and have finally found the woman who I'll be spending the rest of my life with.
It doesn't hurt either that I'm her perfect guy as well...I guess that's what being a "big four" man is what it comes down to in the end!"
-- Nick (Boston, MA)
Obviously, since I've been talking to Nick quite a bit I knew all about his great success. Still, I live for getting e-mails like that.
Right now you may be reading this wondering how to get a great woman--if not THE woman--into your life as well.
Nick's a good man, no doubt, but he's also a pretty normal, red-blooded guy.
If he can meet a woman so terrific, then so can you.
Naturally, I've also heard from other Ten-Plus men who've texted me pictures of their beautiful new girlfriends.
One included this thought: "I've never felt so respected by a woman in my entire life."
Maybe you've got a lot going for you and have a great life, except for the right woman to share it with.
Or perhaps you have this nagging feeling that you should be doing MUCH better with women than you are, but nothing you read or watch seems to be helping.
Either way, what's for sure is life is short. Every day that passes without having a great woman around is one fewer day you'll ultimately get to spend with her.
I met Emily when I was 39, so believe me...I understand these things.
And hey, I also know some of you already have a woman in your life who SHOULD be your dream woman, but something is missing.
If any of this resonates with you, you already know it's time to contact me and talk about embarking upon your very own custom crafted Ten-Plus program:
Take Action To Get The Woman Of Your Dreams
Today's the day to stop wondering about the unknown and start experiencing the fullness of what having a terrific woman around genuinely means.
Drop me a note, let me know how to reach you via phone or Skype, and get the woman you deserve into your life before you know it.
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YOU JUST GOT SERVED
No, I'm not going to talk about a dance contest. And I'm definitely not going to talk about getting hit with divorce papers.
You can exhale now.
What I'm going to bring up instead is something SO subtle that most guys don't even realize how profoundly it's messing things up for them.
It actually all revolves around the idea of being served in the most literal sense.
An amazing number of men--I'd hazard to say the majority of us--have a very hard time receiving service from others.
This applies across a broad spectrum.
On the job, we want to do most of the work on a project so we can rest assured it's done right, and so the boss is more likely to give us credit.
When the sink is broken, we want to fix it ourselves instead of calling a plumber. It usually isn't even about the money, it's about the pride.
We're notoriously stubborn about asking for directions.
We just flatly, straight-up don't want anyone's help.
After all, it's in our nature to be protectors and providers. That's what WE do. It's NOT what's done for us.
What does it say on the side of every police car? "To Protect And To Serve". It's no coincidence that most officers are men.
Add it all up and it stands to reason that we really detest anything that feels like WE are being "protected" and "served".
My barber shop of choice always tries to sell me on some "VIP level" plan of service where they would apparently throw hot towels on my face, massage my shoulders, shampoo my hair, wipe me off and pat me on the back.
I'd actually pay them the $5 extra NOT to do any of that.
I usually don't have time to get a haircut as it is, so just buzz the wig and run my card.
But even if I did have the time, getting all of that extra stuff done to me just sounds...awkward.
And indeed, I've never seen another dude getting the "VIP" deal performed on him any time I've ever been in there.
What about women, though?
They practically LIVE to get spa treatments, right?
And if they could hire someone to do everything they're not interested in and/or particularly good at doing themselves they would...gladly.
Have you ever noticed that amazingly often the "service" they look so forward to comes from other women?
Sure, there are plenty of times where they get a man involved to gladly perform his role of "protecting and serving".
But isn't it something how women tend to have a much more holistic, and dare I say healthier grasp of "service" as a two-way street?
So where does this leave us in our relationships with them?
Well, tragically enough it often leaves us doing freaking everything.
We "protect and serve" in the relationship, and yes, we often become women's heroes with great success.
But what happens when SHE wants to do something for us?
Are we sticking to our macho guns and telling her, "Nah, I'm good...I got it"?
Are we too busy taking care of things to let her take care of us once in a while?
Are we even comfortable with that concept at all, or does it sound "weak"?
Here's what happens if we fall too far into that trap. She ends up letting us do literally everything, for ourselves AND for her.
After all, she can't help but notice that's clearly how we want it ...right?
Don't kid yourself. If you've developed a habit of stubbornly refusing "service", your relationship with women will NOT be particularly fruitful, enjoyable and/or productive.
Women have certain feminine gifts they genuinely want to give.
Hospitality, joy, pleasure, comfort, fun. Come on now, doesn't any of that sound interesting to you?
But see, when women aren't extended the opportunity to give from the heart like that, they feel ripped-off. They may even find someone else to bestow their gifts upon.
When all of that happens, you may be tempted to grow bitter and upset, complaining about your lot in life.You may even get mad and argue with the woman in your life about it.
Before resorting to that, think clearly as to whether you've ever really allowed yourself to receive at anywhere near the level that you GIVE.
Ironically, wanting to do everything may actually be one of the most selfish attitudes we as men have.
Read that last line again and let it sink in.
So why not find some balance between giving and taking?
Let yourself be served.
Break the pattern first by appreciating perky waitresses and Asian flight attendants. After all, that's the easiest first step...if you're anything like me, I suppose.
Then realize that women WANT to bring you joy and comfort, and let them do so.
Get served. You just might like it.
Be Good,
Scot McKay
X & Y Communications
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